#and since i’m not currently on campus i can’t even actually meet in person with my advisor 🫠
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bestfluteninja · 1 year ago
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🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
#hannah does college#course preregistration for winter term is next week#and this is the first time yet that i haven’t been totally confident in my course selections#because for my first two years i was really focused on my general and minor requirements and then i also just took the writing classes i#wanted to take and helpfully those also counted toward my major lol#and now i’m staring at the course list pdf going ????#there’s only one class i know i wanna take for certain and then i’m kind of floundering#do i take the other constitutional law class? when i’m seriously uncertain about trying to go to law school anymore?#do i take fiction workshop again? do i take beginning creative nonfiction?#if i don’t take the con law class i can take a printmaking class and i honestly think that would be so fun#but should i take the con law class? should i keep that as an option? do i want to try applying to law school next year?#as for writing: i’m technically taking a study abroad class rn that could count as beginning nonfiction. but i do Not think it’s really#adequate. i do Not think i would be prepared to take the nonfiction workshop#and i’m definitely intrigued by creative nonfiction and i wanna try it#i just Don’t Know#and since i’m not currently on campus i can’t even actually meet in person with my advisor 🫠#i’m gonna have to just send him an email#and i guess also email the pre law advisor and say hey im having second thoughts?#god printmaking sounds so fun and lovely and i would love to get to create in a new way#but i don’t know if skipping con law is a good idea if i still want to keep the option of law school open#GOD junior year is a lot!! lol!! everything suddenly feels a hell of a lot more important and time sensitive!!#i’m halfway done and i’m done with my gen requirements and done with my minor so i just Need my major requirements#but i also am thinking so much about the future and postgraduate options and this is the year where i need to really start trying to pin it#down bc i’ll do applications next year and i’ll take the lsat this summer if i wanna do law school#and this is the first preregistration period where i haven’t been absolutely solid on my courses right away#the first one where i’ll actually have to like. discuss it with my advisor/s instead of just rolling into his office and giving him a list#so i’m just. a little stressed#and i have a lot of assignments due in two weeks which are all just hovering over me#and i have an application for a summer program due in just over a couple weeks so i need to work on that. and i need to email my advisor#back about THAT. christ. and then on TOP of all that i’m worrying about traveling enough while i’m studying abroad lmao
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angelpink610 · 4 months ago
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Since we mostly talk about success stories here, let me tell you about a current situation I’m dealing with—and how I accidentally manifested a bad thing because of FEAR.
Let’s yap a bit… ;)
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I’m having to face a very frustrating situation right now, so I wanted to share it with you guys and maybe get some advice on the matter you may have (really, feel free to comment, I’ll love to read).
It all started at university when I saw a really cute boy that was exactly my ideal type. Eventually, I discovered he was actually a former classmate and friend of a really good friend and colleague of mine. I followed him on Instagram, he followed me back. Our eyes would meet here and there, at lunch time, whenever we passed each other along the hallways, you name it. But, for some reason, I was really really really shy to do anything (I mean it, I couldn’t even say “Hi”), and he’s an introvert that (according to his friends) will rarely start a conversation.
But here’s the thing: I decided to make the first move! I’m a very extroverted and talkative person, I’m not shy AT ALL (that’s, also, why I was so confused and intrigued by the way I felt around him), so I thought it was worth a shot. I texted him, he answered, and we exchanged brief texts during the weekend, it felt nice and was going well—but I was super nervous and overthinking EVERYTHING I would send him. I engineered every text like it was the most important thing ever, I would send them to my friends first for their approval, I did everything you can imagine when it comes to overthinking texts. Well, it kinda attracted a bad situation.
Just before Monday, when we would see each other on campus, he simply ghosted my last text. As simple as that. And, when classes started again, he not only kept ghosting me, but whenever he’d see me he’d just give me subtle looks and nothing more. I’m not embarrassed to say it really bruised my ego, it didn’t hurt me entirely because I wasn’t attached to him since we had just met, but it messed with my self esteem.
Now that I see it clearer, I can understand some patterns on the way I acted towards the situation and how I overestimated him completely. I wanted him to like me so bad, that I became obsessed with the idea of ‘looking good’ for him (not necessarily physically). I thought of what I’d say, what I’d do, what I’d wear. I focused all my energy on him, and, well, there was no left for ME.
I acted (and, unfortunately, started unconsciously believing) like he was so much more important than me, I worried more about what he liked or wanted than I did—plus, it all happened inside my head. We barely had interactions and this thought still consumed my head. [It sounds dumb, I know, but it’s how it went and I can’t change the past.] What terrified me the most was probably the fact that this situation made me doubt my manifestation capacity, I was trying to manifest him so bad that it backfired and I was the one who got obsessed.
It’s the Murphy Law (briefly: you end up attracting the things you fear the most, if you allow them to consume your thoughts). I was so scared of not “conquering” him, that the worst happened. I was terrified of even the thought of not being able to pull him or being someone he didn’t like—and, still, it happened. I changed small parts of me in order to fit the assumption I had of someone he would like better or things I thought he’d prefer, I pretended even to myself. I couldn’t see how bad and how dumb of an action that was.
So, even though I’m still trying to fix this damage inside of me, and working towards getting better at feeling enough for myself and not needing anyone else to feel complete, I guess my last words on this posts should be a reminder to myself and to anyone else that needs it: don’t EVER change yourself in order to please someone else. You’re more than enough, you’re loved, you’re worth it. And I’m not saying this in a corny way, but it’s reality—in the majority of the cases, the person that we’re trying to “please” changing ourselves, might actually not be interested because they sense that persona of ours false, and the only thing you we had to do was be ourselves all along.
Well, live and learn.
[At least now I know I’m truly good at manifesting, ‘cause I was able to manifest it pretty damn quickly (even if it wasn’t really what I wanted ���🏻‍♀️).]
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I’d love to hear from you guys if you’ve had any simular experiences, or if that ever happened to you. Also, if anyone knows of great ways to prevent obsession over “crushes” and a way I can reverse this ‘fear manifestation’ mindset, sharing will be appreciated! It’s been a while since I last manifested someone romantically, and I’m still kinda ego-bruised, so I’d love to know about ways of doing this while still keeping ourselves obsession-free for future experiences.
As always, feel free to comment (and now scold me, too. I know I deserve it, LOL). Thank you for reading!
Love, Seiko ♡
♡ borders credit: @anitalenia
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staytheb · 1 year ago
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Just A Little Bit; Falling For You - Chapter Four: spring term
Word Count: 6,229 Summary: Spring term has started and Melanie has a rumored about dating Jake already. The cousins participate in a White Day event due to two of their friends and Ni-Ki catches on. Serena gets caught by Heeseung upon delivering a love letter for Sunghoon written by Linna. previous  chapter || next chapter
updated: 6.1.24
"So, when did you write Jake a confession letter?" Linna asked Melanie, joining her at one of the two university's libraries.
They were currently at the Central Library for their Thursday's tutoring session as the spring term's been in session for about two weeks now. The pair had tutoring every Tuesdays and Thursdays after their classes were done for the day. Melanie cast her cousin with a puzzled look.
"I've never wrote him one." Melanie clarified with a weird look.
"What makes you think I wrote a confession letter to Jake?"
"Oh, so you didn't give him a love letter?"
Linna shot her cousin a weird look, too, as Melanie shook her head.
"No, I didn't."
However, she cast her cousin with a look.
"What makes you think I gave him one?"
"Well, that's what I've been hearing all around campus all day today."
A giggle escaped from Linna's lips before continuing.
"Well, more amongst the female population though."
She gave her cousin a pointed look.
"They're the one talking about it and wouldn't stop either."
Melanie rolled her eyes before explaining upon recalling the said event.
"Oh okay. I remember now."
She sighed.
"So, technically I did give Jake one, but I didn't write it."
Another sigh left Melanie's lips.
"This girl, Kim Nara, from my Tuesday and Thursday class kept insisting I give it to him and basically just shoved it in my hand while running off afterward."
Linna's brows furrowed.
"Okay, but why you though?"
"Because we're close and he and I have a Monday and Wednesday class, too."
"That's it?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Melanie shrugged.
"Honestly, I don't really know, but Kim Nara didn't have the courage to give it to him and thought I could be of help."
Another sigh escaped Melanie's lips.
"I gave it to him the same day she gave it to me when I happened to see him during school, but she didn't identify who she was in the letter."
"Really?"
"Mmhmm. So, that left him to give it back to me yesterday since I was the one that gave it to him."
Linna quietly laughed at the whole thing as Melanie rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed.
"Apparently, Jake corrected her grammatical errors and she's blaming me."
"You read it?"
"I basically skimmed it, thinking it was math notes until I actually stared at the words because he didn't put it back in it's envelope and the letter looked normal, too."
Linna giggled as Melanie rolled her eyes again while casting her cousin a pointed look.
"Anyway, shouldn't you be with your own tutor by now?"
Linna giggled again.
"Well, Yonghee's running a little late today, but that's why I'm just bugging you until then."
"Must be nice."
Linna's tutor, Kim Yonghee, was actually Serena's ex-boyfriend back when they were in their first year of high school although they attended different high schools at the time while dating for less than a year. They broke up amicably before the start of their second year and remained friends of sort to this day.
"Don't worry, Youngseo."
Linna grinned mischievously.
"Jake will be here soon to accompany you."
Melanie frowned as she swatted at a giggling Linna.
"Stop. Do I need to bring up Sunghoon for you."
Linna stopped giggling, scowling.
"Please, no."
"That's what I thought.
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we're meeting our sisters at Simplistic after tutoring's done since they're helping their favorite person with an art assignment at the moment."
"I did not sign up for this." Serena grumbled while painting.
"I can't believe I got roped into this somehow."
"Nah, for real." Kierra agreed as she, too, was painting.
"Why are we even here in the first place?"
"Ni-Ki tricked us some how." Serena commented, giggling.
"I did not. Y'all agreed, but just forgot." Ni-Ki clarified.
"Oh, right."
The two recalled that moment when he asked him for their help last week. Anyway, the pair were helping Ni-Ki with his art banner while in one of the art rooms and it's been less than an hour since they started.
"Don't you have other friends that can help you?" Kierra questioned despite enjoying herself.
"I do, but they're busy and you two are never busy." Ni-Ki answered with a knowing smile, still painting.
"What makes you think that?" Serena asked, pausing in mid-coloring.
Ni-Ki didn't look up as he continued to paint the outline of his main character in the center of the banner.
"Because the two of you have no life besides work and school."
"True." The pair agreed, chuckling.
The trio continued to work until Ni-Ki got bored and ended up fingerpainting onto his two friends.
"Yah! Nishimura Riki?!"
Both wiped off the paint from their cheeks and glared at him. Ni-Ki laughed with a cheeky look, clearly enjoying what he had just done. Just as the pair were about to retaliate with Ni-Ki about to make a run for it, the classroom's doors opened revealing Heeseung and Jay.
"Yo, Ni-Ki! We're here."
"Yeah, let's hurry so we can get to dance practice."
Both parties just stared at one another until Serena broke the silence.
"Alright, cool then."
She pointed between herself and her cousin.
"Hayoun and I are gonna go now."
Serena softly smacked Ni-Ki on the right cheek with her left hand that was painted yellow to get back at him.
"Oh, yes, let's go."
Kierra did the same thing, but with her right hand against his left cheek, leaving a red handprint. The cousins admired their artwork with a grin.
"Ooh, very nice."
"Such a lovely artwork."
The two giggled while they pressed their painted hands onto the canvas.
"Now, that's leaving a mark." Kierra commented as she and Serena chuckled.
"Yes, definitely a mark for sure."
The pair glanced at Ni-Ki.
"Later."
"Wait." Ni-Ki called out to them.
"Nah." The pair responded, laughing.
They ignored him while waving at Ni-Ki.
"Okay, buh-bye!"
Both grabbed their belongings with their clean hands, shot a smile at Heeseung and Jay before dashing out of the classroom to wash off the rest of the paint as they laughed along the way. Jay and Heeseung stared after the duo with an amused smile before focusing their attention onto Ni-Ki.
"So, to be honest..."
He shrugged nonchalant while shaking his head with a sheepish laugh as he wiped off the paint from his cheeks.
"I actually don't have that much left to do."
Melanie was working on a few math problems, using the formula that Jake had to re-explain to her as she didn't quite understand it in class on Tuesday, when she felt eyes on her a moment later. She briefly glanced up to see Jake staring at her with a small smile.
"Uh, yes?"
She seemed hesitant in saying something.
"How's it going?" He asked as he flashed her a friendly smile.
"Much easier, Jake. Thanks."
She returned the same gesture yet hoped he would look elsewhere. For some reason, before any of this, she hadn't minded, but not all of a sudden, she did.
"No problem, Youngseo."
Her eyes returned to her paper yet the feeling of being stared at remained, but not as strongly as before and didn't comment on it. Melanie quickly finished the rest of the problems before handing it over for Jake to review. Just then the timer on his phone went off, signaling the end of their tutoring session.
"Ah, sorry. It seems our session ends here." He apologized as she shook her head.
Melanie actually didn't mind it all too much that it was now over.
"It's okay, but thank you for the much needed help."
"Yeah, I don't mind, Youngseo." Jake said in a cheery tone.
"You're easy to teach and learn quickly than others."
Just before he handed Melanie her paper back, Jake quickly took a photo of it.
"I'll review your work after dance practice and let you know if something is wrong."
"Awesome, and no rush. This isn't due until next Thursday anyway."
"Okay, cool."
The pair collected their materials, packed up their things, and headed to the entrance of the library together.
"I'll see you in class next Monday then, yeah?"
Jake cast Melanie with another friendly smile as she briefly nodded.
"Yeah, Jake, see you then."
She flashed him a smile.
"Take care."
"Later, Youngseo."
He shot her another smile before heading off first even glancing back to shoot her another wave and smile.
"Yeah."
She felt some type of way when he did that as he's never done that before. Still, Melanie just remained calm, cool, and collect about it while letting out a deep breath.
"This is ridiculous." She muttered, shaking her head.
Melanie turned the other way, ran a hand through her hair, and knew that her sister and older cousin would tease her about the so-called rumor going around about her and Jake if it spread that much at all. Then again, it might not be all that since only one person would've cared as Kim Nara was the concerned party and probably got offended about the whole love letter situation. 
"So you and Jake are lovers now or something like that now?"
Serena directed her attention onto her sister with a teasing look as Kierra gasped playfully.
"Wow. I can't believe you didn't tell us that you and Jake are an item now."
Linna snickered at the situation as Melanie rolled her eyes at the older two.
"It's not even like that." Melanie scoffed.
"Where did you even hear that from?"
The quartet were having snacks and drinks at their workplace in a corner booth, away from others as to not distract their co-workers.
"Minseo and I overheard this group of girls talking at the school gate when we left earlier." Kierra explained with a giggle.
"Seems serious yet not so serious."
"Seriously, people love to gossip." Melanie mumbled, annoyed.
"What else did they say?" Linna probed, interested.
Kierra replied nonchalantly.
"One of them was upset about spelling corrections on a letter and that he couldn't have done it and it must be that 'Park Youngseo' person that did it out of jealousy or something like that. The girls were clearly upset and angered."
Melanie sighed with another eye-roll.
"So dumb and that's Kim Nara's fault for not letting Jake know that it was her that wrote the letter."
Kierra diverted the conversation elsewhere instead.
"Forget them. How did your math tutoring go with Jake then?"
Melanie shrugged nonchalantly.
"Same as normal. He'll check my work after dance practice. Other than that, we both know the real story and the rumors can suck it."
The three hummed in agreement as Kierra cast her sister with a knowing look.
"So, what about you and Sunghoon then?"
"Nothing."
Kierra just wanted to tease her sister some more.
"Don't be like that." She cooed, playfully.
"Any new developments?"
"No." Linna flatly said with a shake of her head.
"None whatsoever."
"Well, maybe y'all can do a double date or something."
"No!" Both younger sisters answered causing their sisters to raise a brow, amused.
"Oh?"
Just as Kierra wanted to now tease the younger two, Serena changed the subject.
"Hey, Hayoun, who's the model in your photographs?"
Kierra almost spit out her drink, but Serena continued speaking.
"The one for those couple-like project from last semester."
Kierra side-eyed Serena to which the latter just smiled in response as she wanted Kierra to have a taste of her own medicine.
"She has the portfolio at home. The model, he's a student of Hyebi University, too."
"Ooh, who is it?"
"Is it someone we know?"
Kierra slightly glared at Serena, but brought out her phone nonetheless.
"It's Jay."
"Ooh la la." The younger two cooed as they went through Kierra's gallery.
"I blame you."
Kierra shifted her attention onto Serena as the latter shrugged.
"Hey, that's a 'you and Jay' problem."
Kierra scowled.
"Shut up."
However the younger two wanted to join in the teasing to get back at Kierra.
"What's wrong with Jay, Hayoun?"
"Yeah, Hayoun, what did he ever do to you?"
Kierra knew the two younger ones were teasing, but still.
"Everything." She grumbled.
"Why was he your model?" Linna asked a second later.
"Or how did he become your model?"
Kierra sighed before speaking.
"Our professors are best friends and they thought it would be cool to collaborate or whatever last semester."
"So what did he get out of it for being your muse?" Melanie inquired a second later.
"His muse in return." Kierra mumbled.
The younger continued their teasing upon hearing that.
"Ooh, that's cute."
"Yeah, so what has he done that's inspired by you?"
Kierra sighed, not really wanting to tell the duo, but gave in anyway.
"Some fashion clothing designs."
"Ooh." The duo cooed as Linna recalled something.
"Hey, is he the one gave you that cute cream colored scrunchie with Pochacco on it?"
"Yes." Kierra confirmed as Melanie eyed her.
"Okay, but why haven't you worn the said scrunchie though?"
"I just never found a reason to wear it. That's all."
"You should wear it." Linna suggested as Melanie nodded.
"Yeah, you should so that he knows you appreciate his efforts."
"I'll think about it." Kierra responded.
Before the two could teased further, Serena re-directed the conversation elsewhere after checking her phone.
"Hey, Woojoo and Sujin just messaged if we could help them out with something."
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen!" Sujin greeted the crowd as Woojoo introduced their friends onto the makeshift stage.
"Please give a warm welcome to, WHITE WISHES!"
The cousins politely waved at the crowd gathered on their school's campus where Woojoo and Sujin were a part of the Student Council and needed a last minute act to join the other performing acts after three of them dropped out last night unexpectedly. The cousins were bribed with snacks and drinks for another month again for helping out once more. However, the the younger two didn't mind at all in helping this time around, but the older two caved in so easily into their sisters' hands.
"These lovely ladies are gonna charmed their way into your soul with their performances!" Woojoo continued, enthuasistically.
"Yes! So, please treat them kindly!" Sujin chimed in a second later.
The quartet were disguised in their performances outfits, courtesy of their friends. Each one wore a white long-sleeved knee-length slightly loose dress, with a long off white wig, knee-high white socks, white vans, small fairy-like wings, and a feathered white eye mask with different colored accents to differentiate one from the other. Kierra with green, Serena with purple, Melanie with red, and Linna with blue. People definitely couldn't tell them apart unless you knew them well enough or looked a little too closely to figure them out from one another for sure.
"Happy White Day to everyone and enjoy our White Day Stage this late afternoon!" The pair concluded as the crowd cheered.
Sujin and Woojoo walked off the stage as they cheered on the quartet.
"Good luck, ladies!"
"And thanks again for helping us out."
The quartet nodded, smiling.
"You're welcome."
"Yeah, no problem."
However, they psyched themselves and each other up for their short segment despite finishing their classes and tutoring sessions for the day not that long ago. Again, they just didn't think they would have returned to doing something like this after Jungwon's birthday. Still, they were also not about that life either as school and work took up a majority of their time, but free food for like two weeks won out like always.
"One, two..." Melanie led the greeting before introducing themselves as a group.
"We're WHITE WISHES!"
One by one they introduced themselves with their so-called stage names.
"I'm Peony Wish."
"I'm Bear Wish."
"I'm Chocolate Wish."
"I'm Marshmallow Wish."
They introduced themselves with Melanie first, followed by Linna, Kierra next, and lastly, Serena. Woojoo came up with their names this time around as it pertained to gifts normally given on White Day and the quartet drew from hats of what stage name they would go by as well.
"And we're WHITE WISHES!" They repeated in a sing-song tone as Melanie continued speaking.
"Please watch over us kindly."
Unknown to them, several of their friends showed up to check out this White Day Stage and the performers for the fun and curiosity of it all since it was new this year.
"So, why aren't we at dance practice again?" Jake asked his friends.
"Because the dance instructor wants us to." Heeseung replied with a shrug.
"Something about a break or a new perspective of whatever."
"Oh, okay. That makes sense."
"Honestly, I think Instructor Kwon just has a crush on the Student Council advisor and forced us out here." Jay remarked as Sunghoon agreed, pointing somewhere.
"Look over there. There he is with Advisor Kim."
"Where?" The others asked as they followed to where Sunghoon was pointing.
"Wow."
"He makes it so obvious." Jungwon commented with a laugh as Sunoo agreed.
"Yeah, but he's surely smitten for sure with Advisor Kim."
"Well, as long as he's in a good mood, then that's good for us." Ni-Ki remarked, happy about the situation.
Their attention went towards their dance teacher, chatting with the advisor and how he acted differently around her than when he was around them. They found the whole thing comical and just plain weird. Anyway, soon their focus went towards the female quartet as they were the first to start off the White Day Stage event.
"Didn't our sisters say that they're doing something different this year with performances, too?" Sunoo asked Jungwon as the latter nodded.
"Yeah. I mean, they could've asked us to join. I'm sure Instructor Kwon wouldn't have minded since he would be interacting with Adivor Kim, too."
The group watched as the cousins performed their segment, but found them all too familiar, especially Ni-Ki as he observed them a little longer than the others.
"One, two..." Serena began the greeting before finishing as a group.
"This was WHITE WISHES!"
The four bowed to the now larger crowd than before.
"Thank you so much for having us this evening."
The cousins walked off stage as another act came onto it. Both Woojoo and Sujin awaited for the four with presents in hands.
"These are a little 'thank you' gifts from us to you." Woojoo informed them with a smile, while offering the gift bags out towards them.
"So, we hope you like them!" Sujin stated, hopefully.
"Aw, thank you!"
Linna, Kierra, Melanie, and Serena took the gifts before opening them excitedly. Each content contained a small-sized random lop rabbit plush, two small random scented candles, and a variety of snacks consisting of different types of chocolates, cookies, candies, gummies, jellies, and marshmallows.
"Thank you so much for the gifts!" The quartet thanked their friend as they each expressed what they like the most.
"I definitely loved the bunny!"
"I've been needing new candles!"
"I can't wait to eat the jellies."
"I can't wait to eat all the chocolates."
The pair giggled as the six moved away from the stage to talk a little more before the pair had to go back to being in charge for awhile longer while the quartet made their way back to the Student Council room to change. On the way there, they were blocked by Ni-Ki as he had snuck away from the others.
"So, how's it going?" He cooed with a playful tone.
The quartet stared at one another while eyeing the male.
"I will keep this a secret as long as y'all buy me something to eat every day." Ni-ki bargained as the four looked at one another again.
"Don't you already get free food from her the most though?" Melanie said as she pointed at her sister.
"I do, but this time I want to make a request in what I want to eat or drink with the rest of you." He reasoned as the quartet sighed.
"Does it matter?" Linna asked looking between the four of them.
"That he knows and we let the others find out, too?"
"I guess, but then they might start requesting for us to do more stuff, too." Kierra said, making a face.
"I knew this was too much of a hassle."
"Or we can just silence Ni-Ki with a beat up." Serena suggested with a laugh.
"That would definitely make him back off.
The male backed up and eyed his friends, warily.
"I didn't do anything to deserve that."
"We know." They chorused with a chuckle.
"Y'all are mean." He commented as the four laughed again before giving in.
"Alright, alright, but you can't take advantage of this or we will beat you up for sure." Melanie stated as Ni-Ki nodded happily.
"Okay, cool. Let's get dinner."
"Not so fast."
Linna stopped him before speaking again.
"We already have plans tonight."
"What kind of plans?" He inquired, calling their bluff.
However, they weren't bluffing.
"We're hanging out with Sujin and Woojoo." Kierra informed him with a nonchalant look.
"Something came up and so we're hanging out with them for the rest of the day."
"Oh. Okay."
"Yeah, so can you wait for another night?" Melanie asked as Ni-Ki nodded.
"Okay, but don't take too long to decide like always."
"Yeah, yeah."
Serena threw one of her snack gifts towards him.
"What's this?"
"Sweets as a compromise."
"Thanks, Minseo."
"Welcome."
Ni-Ki happily ran off to join the others while the cousins continued on their way to change before getting sidetracked by Ni-Ki.
"C'mon, let's get changed and meet the other two at Simplistic." Linna suggested, motioning her head towards one of the school's building.
Sujin and Woojoo wanted to hang out with the four to treat the cousins out for a White Day moment after learning that their boyfriends had cheated on them. So, the pair didn't want to celebrate the holiday with their scumbag exes as they were now trying to get them back, but they didn't want to take them back. Woojoo and Sujin were also ashamed to let their other friends know about it either. So, they just wanted to hang out with Melanie, Linna, Serena, and Kierra only since they were the only ones that really knew about the secret relationship they had.
"So, you're the one leaving the letters for Sunghoon this past week, huh?"
Serena retracted her hand, but left the light blue envelope behind. She shifted her gaze causally towards Heeseung and recalled Ni-Ki telling her that no one would be here at this time, but guess there was always that one person though.
"Leaving them, yes." Serena answered nonchalantly.
Still, this was her third time to leave a letter for Sunghoon in the past week or so, but this was the first time she's been caught in the act.
"Have a problem with it?"
She cast him with a small smile.
"No."
Heeseung cast her with a polite smile as his eyes glanced from the locker and back to her.
"However, gotta tell you 'sorry', but Sunghoon isn't interested."
She supressed a laugh from escaping before responding with a playful expression.
"Me either."
A bemused look graced his face.
"Then why are you leaving him love letters?"
"It's from someone else and I'm just helping out."
After the quartet's hangout with Sujin and Woojoo, Linna wanted to confess to Sunghoon with letters after talking about relationships although she wouldn't signed her name, but with a simple drawing of an orchid, her favorite flower. Linna convinced herself to write the letters to Sunghoon first and then eventually it would encourage her to later do an actual face to face confession some day. However, Linna couldn't bring herself to actually give him the letters, whether in person or in secret and so resorted in having Serena being the one that did the delivering instead. Serena wasn't please, but she needed new writing materials and eventually agreed.
"Anyway, bye."
She left it at that and made her way around him to leave as he followed.
"Wait a minute, Minseo."
"Yeah, no."
"Oh, c'mon."
Serena ignored Heeseung, but found his tone just now cute.
"Who's this Orchid that likes him?"
Serena's brows furrowed, wondering why the person was dubbed 'orchid', then recall that that's what Linna signed off with.
"What makes you think the sender is 'Orchid' though?"
She casually glanced over her shoulder at him, but freaked upon seeing how close he was. Serena backed away, almost tripping over her own feet, but Heeseung had reached out to steady her.
"Whoa, be careful, Park Minseo." He advised, teasing her a little.
"I'm fine, Lee Heeseung." 
She quickly brushed off his hold from her while righting her position again.
"Anyway, thanks and bye."
She began walking off again, but he matched her pace in no time.
"Anyway, it's because it's always a blue envelope that's left there."
"So?"
"Other letters that Sunghoon gets is either in classes or in person."
"Mmhmm."
"Well, this one from Orchid is always left behind."
"Oh, I see."
Serena had to changed tactics, but figured that since Sunghoon isn't interested that she may not have to deliver more in the future or have to see Heeseung.
"Um, didn't you just say that he's not interested?"
"Yes, but he should know who gave him the letters." Heeseung reasoned.
Serena scoffed.
"Not really if Sunghoon's not interested."
Heeseung persisted.
"Is it someone we know?"
She eyed him.
"Quite persistent, aren't you?"
He chuckled.
"Yeah, but anyway, who's his secret admirer?"
"Well, that's for me to know and you to never find out."
Serena grinned at him.
"Anyway, Heeseung, I'll let the sender know that the receiver isn't interested at all."
Serena faced forward and continued walking and before Heeseung could probe further, he was surrounded by their schoolmates once they exited the building. She casually glanced over her shoulders and saw the distressed look in his eyes despite himself being way too polite for his own good.
"For someone so tall and bright, he does look like a deer caught in the headlights right now."
She softly chuckled, but sighed in defeat as her steps hesitated before turning around. Serena knew she was gonna regret getting involved like this and being around the male longer than she wanted to, but she couldn't leave him alone like that either. So, Serena quickly walked towards the group and reached a hand through them to take a firm hold of Heeseung's hand.
"Hey, Heeseung, c'mon. Sunghoon's waiting."
He cast her with a confused, but relieved look as he allowed her to lead him away from the others. Once in the clear did she let go of his hand when they rounded another department building a moment later.
"Sorry." She apologized while casting the male with a half-smile.
"It looked like you needed help and I dunno if I took you away from anything important."
"Ah, no, it's fine. Thank you and no, not really." He assured her with a thankful smile.
"They just wanted to ask me about school stuff and other non-related school things."
"Ah, okay. Still popular as ever, I see."
"Oh?"
There was a hint of amusement in his tone and Serena knew she would've regretted it.
"Don't mind my words, Heeseung."
She flashed him a smile.
"Anyway, you're welcome. See you never."
"Hey, wait a minute. Minseo!" Heeseung called out, but she shook her head while shooting him an amused look as she took a few steps back.
"Nope. Gotta go. Buh-bye!"
Serena already did her part for her cousin on a few ocassions and needed to keep it to a miminal as much as possible if she didn't want to interact with Heeseung constantly like this. He didn't follow after her, but watched her retreating figure with a slight tilt of his head and an amused smile.
"Was she always like this during high school, too?"
"So, apparently, Sunghoon isn't interested, Linna."
Serena announced once she met up with her sister and cousins at the university's Lift Library.
"Really?"
Linna sounded so sad and Serena patted her shoulder.
"He actually said that?" Kierra asked with widened eyes.
"No. Heeseung did."
She made a face.
"He caught me in the act."
"Wait, does that mean he'll tell him about you?"
"Maybe. Not sure."
Serena shrugged nonchalantly before glancing at Melanie.
"Maybe my situation will turn out like yours and Jake."
Melanie rolled her eyes with a laugh.
"We're not even like that, but will you be okay with rumors of you and him?"
Serena shrugged while shaking her head.
"Not really, but I would prefer it didn't."
"True. Anyway, let's focus back on Jiyeon."
All focus went onto Linna as she caught their stares.
"What?"
"An in-person confession would be better." Kierra reasoned.
Linna seemed uneasy.
"I mean, Sunghoon is quite popular and has a lot of admirers."
Serena scoffed before speaking.
"Okay, true, but that's not always the case."
The other three stared at her as Serena elaborated.
"C'mon, y'all watched those shows and movies enough to know, but okay."
Serena made herself comfortable.
"Like, usually a person with a lot of admirers don't even like those that surround themselves around them in general. It's because those admirers only like the surface parts of that person and not the deeper levels of them."
Serena looked from one to the other, hoping they got the gist, but continued on anyway.
"Or these admirers who aren't even close to that said person always have this idealize expectation of that person and so get disappointed when that person doesn't match that idolized one. Honestly, said popular person doesn't feel like they are actually being appreciated and just being used for clout and the likes."
Serena chuckled with a shrug.
"Still it's usually a more or less stereotypical perspective of it all. Depends on the person and situation at most. Then again, you'll never know unless you yourself find out and get it from the primary source."
Linna nodded.
"That's what I thought, too, ever since I realized I had a crush on him since our high school days."
She softly sighed.
"However, this is real life and not one of those shows or whatever. I don't want to give him the impression that I'm only around him because of that since a lot of girls in my class fond over him too much and he always hung out with his friends, too."
"Well, it's different now. Like, we have the same set of friends and mutual friends between us." Melanie commented while looking at Linna.
"Which in your case, it's different since you built the trust and friendship and are actually cool with those he considers his friends, too."
"Yeah, true."
Linna gave the trio a confident smile.
"One day, I'll do it on my own time, but for now, I'm good where I'm at."
"Fine by me as long as I don't have to deliver any more love letters." Serena grinned.
"So that leaves Youngseo and Jake, as well as Hayoun and Jay."
"It does not." They countered as Serena laughed.
"If y'all do stuff, then maybe Jiyeon could go through with her confession for Sunghoon."
"I just said Jake was cute that one time and I never said that I actually liked him like that." Melanie stated with a roll of her eyes.
"There's a difference."
"Yeah, what Youngseo said." Kierra agreed.
"Don't be like Woojoo, Sujin, and the others as they think there's something going on between me and Jay."
She clicked her tongue.
"Almost all our friends keep thinking he and I got something going on."
"Don't you?" The other three chorused as Kierra groaned.
"No."
"Well, are you and Jay going to have more photoshoot assignments this semester like last semester?" Melanie inquired a moment later.
"No." Kierra answered, relieved.
"Thank goodness as neither of our professors brought up another collaboration."
"Aww, that's too bad." Linna chimed in.
"I'm pretty sure he would've loved to spend more time with you."
"Don't even start."
"Nah, it would've been cute." Serena marked, laughing.
Soon, Serena continued teasing the others, but stopped once they started bringing up her possible involvement with Heeseung. Then they got onto the topic about their friends wondering about Seohoo and who he was to them as they all thought he was four-timing them of sorts since the cousins hung out with Seohoo often. Yet the cousins left the matter alone as they knew the truth and Seohoo found it entertaining and even suggested for them to use him as pretend boyfriend if needed.
"Alright, here you four go." Chanran announced as he set down four different fruit slushies in front of the cousins.
"My special fruit-ades for team members."
"Yay!" The four cheered as they each grabbed their drink.
The quartet decided to hang out at Simplistic, not wanting to return home just yet once classes were done for the day and had a day off from work as well. Chanran mentioned his specialty drinks that he was testing out which was basically made with both milkis and chilsung cider while mixing with actual fruits and syrup flavoring.
"So," Serena began after taking a sip of her mango slushie.
"Is there any way we can ditch the school's social gathering or networking happening this Sunday?"
"Oh, please, someone say yes." Kierra exlaimed in agreement, after sipping her peach slushie.
"I wanna opt out, too."
"Y'all can't do that."
"Yeah, we've already signed up."
Linna and Melanie argued, also having drank their red guava and strawberry slushies, respectively, before the pair spoke again.
"It shouldn't be that bad from what I've read and others have been talking about." Melanie said, giving the older pair a look.
"There's gonna be free food and future job opportunities with companies we may wanna work for in the future if we decide to stay and live here longer or maybe even permanently. Also, don't forget about the extra credit bit, too."
"Yeah." Linna chimed in.
"It's only for one night and the first time ever that the school is doing this. If it's successful, then they'll do it again next year and thereafter."
"But there's a dress code." Kierra and Serena chimed in unison with groans.
"And what's wrong with that?" Linna countered as Kierra made a face.
"We got nothing fancy to wear."
"Yeah, the dress code has to be formal or semi-formal." Serena chimed in as Melanie nodded.
"True, but y'all can wear pant suits though if y'all didn't wanna wear dresses."
"Oh, right, but even those are a hassle, too."
"Well, it is what it is. Gotta suck it up."
"So dumb."
Suddenly a voice suddenly spoke from behind them.
"What's going on over here?"
The quartet turned their heads to see Hanyoung hovering nearby with a curious face.
"Anything interesting to help pass the time?"
"Not if you know where we can rent or buy fancy dresses for cheap." Serena replied as Hanyoung nodded.
"I do."
"Really?"
"Yes. What's it for?"
"Our university is doing a social networking gathering of sorts and expects a lot of their students to be there to impress." Kierra explained while glancing around her.
"But Minseo and I don't want to attend, but need to attend as we already signed up and it counts as participation grading."
Simplistic died down and so the others really had nothing to do as the previous customers have left, too.
"Ooh, sounds fun though."
Hanyoung chuckled while glancing between the four.
"Would that be for this upcoming Sunday for Hyebi University?"
"Yes. How'd you know?"
"Surprisingly, Junyoung and I will be there, too. Also, Seohoo's been talking about it for the past several days, too."
"Really? Why will y'all be there?" Melanie inquired, puzzled.
"Our parents have businesses and we're the ones representing them since they have other obligations to handle."
"That's pretty cool."
"Mmhmm."
Hanyoung cast them with a sweet look.
"So, when do y'all wanna go clothes shopping though?" He asked sincerely.
"Junyoung and I can free up our schedule to assist y'all for the ocassion. We asked Seohoo, but he said he got all of that figured out on his own accord."
"I can't believe I'm wearing such a dress for this event and even more so than I ever thought I would." Serena slightly complained, even if in awed.
She, her sister, and their cousins arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel's venue hall as they wore the same styled strapless fitted gown, but in different colors. Serena in an off white, Kierra in a rose gold, Linna in a mauve rose, and Melanie in a smoky blue. They were rented out by the duo although the cousins informed them that they would pay them back, but Junyoung and Hanyoung dismissed it as a friendly treat. Luckily for Serena and Kierra, their friends eased their nervousness by suggesting something more comfortable while still staying classy.
"Well, Seohoo was supposed to meet up with us, but he left earlier with his friends." Linna remarked as Melanie nodded.
"Yeah, I mean I would, too, but he told us last minute and we could've gone with Sujin and Woojoo."
"For real."
The other three agreed.
"However, I think those two are gonna arrive later as they have Student Council matter to take care of first as this was part of it or something like that." Linna informed.
"Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot they mentioned that." Melanie chimed in.
"Anyway, where are we supposed to go again?" Kierra asked, looking about the venue.
"Were we supposed to pick up our name placard or a name-tag somewhere?"
"Let's just follow the other students." Serena suggested.
"I don't see any signs and it would be helpful if they did or someone was out here."
"Yeah, I know right." Kierra agreed, looking around.
"Still, let's just followed everyone else. That's our best bet."
"Alright, let's go." Melanie said as she began walking with the others following after her.
"By the way, what should we do when we get inside?" Kierra asked a second later.
"Like, I didn't really fully read the e-mail that they sent us."
"Of course you wouldn't." Linna commented as Kierra chuckled.
"Um, first we check in, then they'll give us a pamphlet, and afterwards we'll just go about the place." Melanie explained.
"I think they also have a separate place for food though as they're so much of us."
"Oh, yes, please. I forgot to eat earlier and am hungry." Linna replied, rubbing her stomach.
"Hopefully there's enough options."
"Yeah, no, I hope so, too." Melanie agreed.
"We can check that out after checking in first."
"Now that I think about it after reading the e-mail," Serena thought out loud after putting her mobile phone away, "We don't really have to stay for that long or for even the whole time that we're here."
She glanced at the other three with a an easy-going look.
"We just need to check in, mingle around for a bit with some proof that we came by talking to some of the businesses here by getting our name-tag either signed or stamped, and we can leave after doing so. Or in our case, just hang out in the buffet hall to eat and then leave afterwards."
Kierra grinned, liking the idea.
"Oh, yeah, let's do that for sure."
"Right."
Serena chuckled as Kierra continued.
"Right. Anyway, food can never go wrong unless prepared incorrectly or whatever."
Their sisters rolled their eyes with a laugh.
"Of course."
The four giggled as they reached the part where the hotel staff had tables aligned with their name lanyards for them to take and enter the hall.
0 notes
erodasfishtacos · 4 years ago
Text
Not Your Charity Case
prompt: Harry is a frat boy - who doesn’t need sympathy from anyone. He makes Y/N feel a sense of home when they’re together. But is Harry just like every stereotypical frat boy?
word count: 6.2k 
warnings: minor violence, language, deaf!harry, smutttt
other: when Harry is talking to Y/N or any other characters - it is to be noted that he is signing. When Y/N talks to Harry - she is also always signing
Let me know if you’d want to see anything else from this verse:)
+++
You were rushed - you really shouldn’t stop at the local coffee shop for a sugary, delicious mocha chip frappuccino.
Despite what people say, professors are much more lax and carefree in college.
It was about two weeks into the new semester, - your third here- and the seasons were changing - becoming autumn.
Chilled breezes, falling leaves, and vivid colors of nature made you happy.
When you arrive in line, there are two people ahead of you. A girl currently in front of the cashier and a tall male with a red and black flannel on behind her- typing away on his phone.
When she moves to the left, the broad man steps forward. His snapback facing backwards, brown curls dancing around his neck. You can’t help but notice how tall and lean he is, shoulders broad and straight.
You definitely haven’t seen him before on campus. You’d remember.
From what you can see, he shows the young girl behind the counter the screen of his phone without saying anything at all.
The raven-haired girl’s face pinches in annoyance. “We don’t accept orders like that. You need to tell me what you want.”
You’re a little surprised by both the rude cashier but also the man who doesn’t respond right away.
He attempts to show her his phone again but she shakes her head - annoyed.
You become interested in the situation when I watch him sign, a few gestures before pointing to his ears. In the most obvious form of saying “I can’t hear.”
The clueless girl gives him a blank look, “Listen, there’s a line. I don’t have time for this.”
You hoped you weren’t overstepping your boundaries when you slide up next to him, tapping him on his shoulder to get his attention.
It is a bit startling how gorgeous the boy is. He was tanned with bright green-eyes and a defined jawline that was currently clenched in frustration.
You sign, “What are you trying to order?”
He studies you for a second with hesitance before his long slim fingers begin to move, slowly as if he thinks you may be inexperienced in the form of language.
He replies, “Large coffee with a little cream and two sugars.”
You squeeze in front of him, “It is not only rude but illegal to not serve based on disabilities. Refusing an order from a deaf person isn’t moral or acceptable.”
The girl has enough decency to mumble an apology and turned bright pink, “Sorry, he doesn’t look deaf. “You roll your eyes - how can you tell that someone is deaf based on solely appearance? This girls a fucking idiot, you think.
You repeat his order to her, along with yours - sliding your debit card towards her and give her your name for the order.
The man trails behind you to the small waiting area. “Thank you,” he signs simply. You nod and return the pleasantry. The. hand him his steaming hot coffee.
“Thank you again. I’m going to be late to class, so I have to go,” he tells me, seeming a little out of place signing with a stranger.
“Go ahead, I’ll see you around.” It was the first time in a long time you’ve signed to anyone outside your family.
+++
Sipping your drink as you are only five minutes late and the class hasn’t even started yet. The man you just helped was sat in the back of the classroom, unloading his laptop.
With a little bravery, you wriggle your way through and plop into the wooden chair easily. Letting your backpack fall to the ground. Curly looks over at you with a frown, he signs, “Why are you sitting next to me?”
You blush, “I don’t know? Thought it’d be good to have someone to talk to.”
His hands are tense as he replies, “I’m not a charity case, so you can leave me alone.”
“Never said you were,” you huff when you tell him. Not appreciating how rude he was being. Signing had its own tones and expressions so to speak. For example, when someone is happy their signs and movements are different than when they’re sad or frustrated.
Harry seems to be the latter. You wrestle out your laptop to the PowerPoint that was going to be discussed today in class. You noticed Harry stared very intently at the professor to read his lips and expression.
You was surprised he didn’t have an interpreter with him but you’re sure he got special accommodations elsewhere. Even though that was absolutely none of your business.
His shoulders are tensed and he makes sure your arms don’t brush like you have cooties for the entire two hours. The nameless boy is up and out of his seat as soon as the professor shuts off the projector and turns on the lights - signaling class to be over.
Well fuck him then.
***
You don’t make the mistake to sit next him again. But that doesn’t mean you could ogle his strong muscular back and big hands.
It wasn’t your place to care but you felt twinges in your tummy when you noticed him struggling to keep up with the fast-speed class on certain days.
You were in the large, rustic library that smelled of old books and damp wallpaper. It was dead silent as people furiously studied or worked on papers due.
As you paced the shelves, you could not find the book you needed for your American Literature class. Fuck the Dewey Decimal System.
Part-time uni students probably just stuffed returned books in any open space they saw fit. But you need this book in particular, a discussion board post due by midnight and it was currently eight-thirty. They had ran out of copies at the on-campus bookstore.
After a valiant effort, you trudge up to the checkout counter. A little sign reads, “ring me if no ones here!”
You impatiently ring the silver bell. But no one comes. You give whoever is working a minute or two but nothing. Another ring it is.
Silence. No one. Of fucking course, luck is not on your side tonight.
You dramatically clunk your head onto the high counter top in front of you - groaning at the fact you may fail the assignment.
A tentative pat on your shoulder makes you snap your head up. To see the boy you’ve been constantly avoiding standing behind the checkout desk.
“Are you okay?” He asks. He had a name-tag on - Harry. He honestly looked a bit out of place. Harry appeared to be a frat boy. He was still had a boyish air about him but an intensity that was unmatchable.
He didn’t look like he would work in the library. He looked like...well he looked like he would be a beer pong referee or something.
You couldn’t see below his torso but he had a plain black snapback on and a vintage Elton John concert tee. A cross necklace dangling over the worn shirt.
You smile, embarrassed, but reply, “Just being dramatic. I can’t find a book and I was waiting here.”
There’s mirth in his eyes when he points to the bell,”Did you ring the bell?”
Your brows furrow, “I did.”
“Well I can’t hear it, I’m deaf,” he deadpans with a straight face and a dry sense of humor.
You roll your eyes, laughing nervously, “I didn’t know you were working!”
“What do you need?”
He helps you locate the book in two minutes flat before checking you out and you rushing home to finish the homework.
You felt bad ignoring your little sister’s FaceTime calls but you promised to call her back tomorrow. 
***
Though once again, you hadn’t interacted with Harry since last week - you constantly found yourself studying his stoic profile or fast moving fingers.
You would never befriend Harry because you feel bad for him - like he presumed. You enjoyed American Sign Language and it actually made you feel back at home.
You’re little sister was born completely deaf. She was much younger than you - eight years old. Fifteen years apart to be exact. You learned the language along with her and your parents.
When you were at home and your sister was there - you guys tried to only sign so she didn’t feel left out. So Harry felt like home - a little despite his completely off-putting demeanor. It made you a little bit more persistent than with any other frat boy.
***
The bulletin board in your advisor’s office caught your eyes. None of the little tabs ripped off in interest.
‘Student with ASL experience and above a 3.5 GPA needed for tutoring sessions - twice weekly. $16 dollars an hour.’
After your meeting, you tugged the little scrap of paper off and tuck it into your pocket. You couldn’t know for sure if it was Harry but you didn’t know of any other deaf students in the program.
You say ‘fuck it’ and type out an email to the advisor of academic affairs and accommodations to throw your hat in the ring.
***
You don’t hear back for three days - nearly forgetting about it in the mean time. Your eyes scan quickly over the email to grant you the position. They include contact information for no other than Harry Styles.
After psyching yourself out a little and a few paces across your kitchen tiles - you text him.
Hey! I’m your new assigned tutor. Would you like to set up a time and place? As well as what kind of help you’re looking for.
The reply text comes shortly after
Hello, thank you very much. I am just in need of hearing ears. I am deaf and have a hard time keeping up with the my professor. I have begun recording the lectures in hope that you can sign then to me.
Sure thing. That won’t be a problem!
I live in Alpha Sigma on 3rd street. I have my own room. I’d rather not have the tutoring session in public. However, if that makes you uncomfortable - we can figure something out.
You take a minute to debate. You understand why this would be a task too loud for the library and why he’d want privacy. You didn’t feel like I’d be uncomfortable with him.
I saw twice a week so does Tuesday and Thursday at seven work?
Sounds great. Thank you again x
Did he know it was me? Was he expecting it to me?
***
He was definitely not expecting you. You automatically knew that by the way his friendly smile dissipated into a frown when he opened the door for you.
You attempted to look nice today without trying too hard. A loose crop top with the university’s name, a pair of tight black leggings, bulky white socks bunched at your ankles, and white sneakers. Very 80’s.
You try to keep your composure, “Hi Harry, I’m going to be your tutor.”
He slowly nods at you, huffing out a breathe of irritation before inviting you into the frat house.
You’d only been here once or twice for a party so you had no idea what the house actually looked like when there weren’t bodies and booze everywhere.
He’s walking you past a group of boys playing FIFA on the flatscreen in the living room, white claws open everywhere.
“Y/N! Hey babe!” You look over to see Niall - one of your good friends from your part-time job at the bookstore - trotting over to you guys.
The blonde pulls you into an overexcited hug. He reminded you of a cuddly, soft puppy dog most of the time.
“Are you Harry’s little tutor?” Niall coos, leaning over to pinch Harry’s cheek. 
Harry- who was observing the conversation, focusing in on our lips, immediately bats his friend away. A small scowl forming on his face.
It automatically turns into a playful brawl where Niall tugs Harry into headlock. But he has no strength on the brunette.
Harry turns out of it quickly and pushes Niall to the ground. He straddles his stomach and begins to jokingly pinch and slap at him.
Niall hisses, “Ouch! You motherfucker! Big oaf!”
Then you don’t know why you find this endearing but Niall signs the word, “uncle” a few times to signal he’s accepted his lost.
The fact that they wrestle so much that Niall learned to sign how to give up made you giggle more than it should.
Harry crawls off of him, running a hand through his messy curls, his face a little flushed.
“I’ll talk to you later!” You tell Niall as your trailing behind Harry up a flight of stairs.
His room is extremely neat. A fluffy navy comfort decorated his bed with a few photos of flowers and nature on his wall. A tidy desk tucked away in the corner that had all of his school work loaded on top of it.
He chooses to sit in his desk chair, motioning for you to perch on his bed. You look at him expectantly when he pulls out the tape recorder and sets it on the surface.
He pulls his laptop into his lap and begins signing, “I need you to transcribe the lecture for me so I can follow it. We can skip through the bits where he is rambling or off topic.”
You nod, letting him know to begin whenever he’s ready. He presses the side button and the recording starts but it super unclear and garbled.
“Did you record this from your seat?” You ask, the professors words nearly inaudible and fuzzy.
“Yes.”
“You need to bring it to the front of the room. Ask Dr. Morrison  to lay it on his desk before class. I can’t hear anything but static and mumbles,” You tell him.
He laughs and shakes his head. His movements rough and angry, “Of course its fucked up. I get you as my tutor and then the recorder is shit.”
You glare at him, offended as you haven’t done anything to this boy. “Excuse me? I’ve literally been trying to help since I’ve meet you. What is your fucking issue?”
“I’m not a charity case! I don’t need you to feel bad for me. I’m not helpless! You’re probably just a silly little girl who took ASL in high school because it was cool and trendy. Go back to focusing on psych.”
“Fuck you, Harry,” Your gestures getting sharper and your face sour, “You know nothing about me so don’t act like you do. I don’t feel bad for you or think that you’re helpless.” You put up a hand and tell him to not talk.
“I was just being nice because I thought you were handsome and at first, seemed friendly. It turns out you’re just like every douchebag frat boy I’ve met. What a disappointment,” You chuckle, swinging your bag on your shoulder and storm out of the room without another look.
***
The cafe was jammed packed - it was Waffle Wednesday. You had said waffles in your tray and were about to plop down on a stool when you hear your name being called.
“C’mere, come sit with us!” He hollers over the commotion of the crowd. Niall.
You’re about to decline when some dude slips behind you and snags the stool. Shit.
A bit unwillingly you slide into the booth next to Niall, cracking open your sparkling water. “Mates, this is Y/N, we work at the store together and she’s Harry’s tutor,” he tells them. “Y/N, this is Liam and Louis.”
“Hello,” you try your best to come off as friendly even though you can feel Harry’s glare on the side of your face. You ended up falling to easy conversation with the boys. Niall has a very limited ASL vocabulary but tries.
The boys are also trying to talk slower and more pronounced so Harry can watch and understand. A couple of times he taps Niall on the wrist to repeat what was going on.
Your phone begins buzzing and you apologize for the interruption. It’s your little sister, Mazie, FaceTiming.
You answer the phone with a frown, signing “Aren’t you suppose to be in school?”
Mazie looks upset, eyes a little watery. She gestures back, “I left early. I’m sick.”
“Are you really sick or where you getting bullied again?” You asks her.
Your sister hesitates before sniffling, “You already know. I hate my school.” 
Mazie has had other children bully her for her disability since she started preschool and it as still happening in fourth grade.
“What can I do to help?” You frown, never wanting to see your baby sister cry.
You chat for a few minutes to help her calm down. When the phone call ends, you don’t realize that all the boys were watching you in interest. Harry in particular, keeps his focus on you with a wrinkled forehead.
“My sister’s deaf,” You tell them. The whole time you’ve been sitting with them you’ve been signing and verbally speaking to help everyone be able to be included in the conversation.
“That’s sick!” Louis says, smacking Harry’s arm. “Just like our lad Harry.” 
Harry grumbles when Louis shakes him a little. It seems like the boys loved to physically interact with Harry which was endearing.
Harry allows him to for a moment before he flicks his cheek hard and laughs when Louis flinches. The conversation goes back to normal.
***
Harry jogs up to you after your group shares farewells and a few punches. You pointedly ignore him as you trek to the class you two have together so it’s not like he can’t walk this way too.
“Please, wait,” Harry asks. He walks in front of you.
“What do you want?” You huff, keeping my glare firm and directed alley at him.
“I’m sorry. I made the wrong assumption.”
“You made a lot of wrong assumptions. The fact that you think of me so lowly is sad. I’ve been nothing but nice,” You try not to focus on his large palms that curve over the caps of your shoulders.
“I’m not very trusting of people.”
You snort rather unattractively, “No kidding”
“Can we please start over?” He asks, stepping back to give you space. He didn’t realize how close he’d been standing to you until your hair wisps across his nose.
“One more chance, Styles.”
Harry lays a hand on your upper arm and squeeze lightly before signing the simple gesture of ‘thank you.’
***
It turns out Harry is very handsy and physically affectionate. It wasn’t creepy though or something that ever made you feel uncomfortable.
You were still tutoring him but you hung around the frat with Harry nearly everyday. The days you just wanted to lay in bed resulted in a grumpy FaceTime from Harry.
Harry once stated during a tutoring session, “It is easier for me to show how I’m feeling with touch than words. If I ever make you uncomfortable - please tell me and I will stop.”
You smile slyly at his words that sounded more like a question, asking if he can touch you. “I guess I’ll let you feel me up every now in again.”
He giggles and looks down wolfishly - like an entertaining thought is dancing around in his mind.
You tuck your finger under his chin to gaze at you. “In all seriousness, I give you my consent to show your feelings with physical touch. I trust you and know you won’t do anything to make me uncomfortable.”
The curly-haired brunette smiles happily, his hand cupping the side of your neck and brushing over your pulse point.
He hadn’t touched you here before and it seems like it was his first goal to do so once he got permission. You can’t help but take in a deep gasp of air. You prayed he didn’t notice but by the small lift of his lips he did.
The simple touch made a flame of arousal swirl in your lower stomach. You felt like you were about to start sweating.
“Anyways,” You clear your throat and snatch back up the recorder. It now had better quality after Harry listened to you about placement.
***
The frat house was ridiculously full of drunk college students. Everybody on the dance floor was sweaty and sticky with a variety of different substances.
Niall had invited you - so you were searching about for him. Pushing through the crowd and nobody was able to hear you say ‘excuse me.’
You finally found fresh air in the backyard where beer pong and cornhole were set up. Niall was tossing his ball across the table, trying to splash in Liam’s red solo cups.
Harry was sitting on a cushioned patio chair, watching the game commence. Maybe he was a beer pong referee after all. 
He looked so fucking good tonight. He had a yellow snapback taming his curls - backwards of course. A black Rage Against the Machine shirt and his signature black skinny jeans. **
You made eye contact and were about to wave when a girl plopped down in the seat across from him.
Awkwardly you turn away, greeting the other boys and taking a seat in a lawn chair to watch them start their third round of the game.
Your eyes keep darting over to Harry who is staring blankly at the girl. She starts stroking his biceps and tracing across the tattoos like they belong to her.
Harry is attempting to let her know he’s not interested. His signs uselessly as she’s staring at his lips and not hands.
You’re moving before you know it, without another thought, you squeeze in between the two - separating them. You dramatically slide into his lap, funnily enough one strong arm wrapping happily around your middle.
The pretty blonde pouts out her lips, “Is he your boyfriend?”
Before you’re able to reply, Harry signs the obvious signal for ‘yes’ to the girl. Then rudely makes the shooing gesture. She’s up with a huff and stomping back towards the house.
Harry turns you sideways on his lap so that you two can see each other’s hands, “You saved me.”
“You’re just such a stud, have to protect you,” You joke - but not really.
He raising his eyebrows and smiles, “You were jealous.” It was a statement not a question.
You blush wildly, avoiding eye contact which you know he hates. He hates anytime you cut off ways of communication.
Harry taps your lips until you look up at him, “it’s really fucking sexy when you are.” A perk of sign language. He could dirty talk just about anywhere and mostly no one would ever know.
His thumb drags on your full bottom lip, signing clumsily with one hand so you had to use context clues to piece it together “Don’t think I forgot when you called me handsome a few months ago.”
“I don’t remember, doesn’t sound like me,” You boldly lie, snickering and nipping at the top of his thumb
His eyes become a shade darker when your teeth meet his skin. He presses his thumb further in until it’s in-between your teeth. The moment is broken when Niall screams, “Styles! You’re up next!”
**
You and Harry become separated after you spent nearly two hours watching all these drunk boys play beer pong. Harry was ridiculously good at the game and only had to drink two cups from the table.
You had wandered back into the house where the party had died down. There were only a handful of stragglers left but mostly just the fraternity brothers and their close friends.
With a fresh alcoholic seltzer in your hand - you didn’t trust open bottles at parties like this - you gaze at Harry through the back window.
Harry was being jumped by Liam and Niall. He was snarling playfully as Liam toppled them all over into the grass. Niall tries to stand up but Harry’s hand wraps around his ankle and makes him fall right back on his bum with a girlish squeal.
Niall leans over to give Harry a wet-willy but Liam manages to throw a plastic cup directly at Niall’s forehead. Harry and the other boys dissolve in childish giggles. Faces red from laughter and liquor. You feel a smile painted fondly on your lips from watching them.
“Hey, Y/N right?” A voice interrupts from behind.
You spin to face a guy you barely recognize from a previous class you shared. You smile nonetheless, “Hi...”
“Jake, Jake from Social Constructs and Society last semester.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” You smile and allow him to talk your ear off because you struggle to say ‘no.’ He was fine, nothing special, typical business major who thought he was hot shit because his daddy owned a golf course he wanted to take you to.
It was a normal conversation until his voice gets lower as if he’s trying to be more seductive, “Want to head to a room with me?” He nods towards the staircase.
You chuckle in disbelief at his bold and forward question. “No thank you, I’m good.” You really had eyes for one person right now and he was currently cussing out Niall in sign language in the backyard before tackling him once again to the ground.
“C’mon, I can really show you a good time,” He persuades persistently, stepping into your space - causing your nervousness to spike.
“I said - no thank you,”You bite out, starting to feel scared when he blocks your way out of the kitchen and presses himself against you and the counter.
“You’re really something gorgeous, you know?” He asks, ignoring my struggles to get away from him.
“Stop touching me!” You scream, hoping Niall or one of the boys would hear your wail. He puts a hand up to your mouth to muffle you but that only results in you biting him.
“Fucking bitch!” He cries out, pulling his hand back and winding up to either punch or slap you right in the face. You prepare for the impact.
Then in a blink off an eye, it becomes a blur, a muscular figure is crashing into Jake with full force and knocking him straight into the linoleum floor with a loud crash.
It’s Harry. Broad shoulders and thick but lean tattooed biceps. He’s standing over the harasser and drops on top of him. It shouldn’t look as graceful and tactful as it does.
You’d never seen anything like this from Harry before. Once you really got to know him - he was a gentle giant who liked romantic comedies, soft blankets, and vanilla cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles.
Harry’s fist is repeatedly connecting with the dark-haired boy’s jaw with full force. The only noise is from Jake as Harry is dead silent but his eyes zeroed in on the target.
When blood begins gushing from the man’s nose - Niall and Liam decide it times to physically pull Harry up. Harry had a slight red mark on his jaw when Jake had managed one punch before being defeated quickly.
Harry signs to Niall, “Tell him.”
Niall places his foot on the dude’s chest to keep him down, “My mate wants to let you know if you touch her again we’re not going to pull him off and he’ll gladly beat you to a fucking pulp.”
Jake groans, clutching his nose to stop the bleeding, “Fuckin’ asshole.” 
You were still blown away as you watch Harry’s heaving chest as he glares down at the boy. His fist clenched and knuckle bloody and swollen. Harry’s attention turns towards you. His furious expression melts into worry. You can read his face so clearly. He’s afraid he’s scared you off.
It was hard to believe you had this drop dead gorgeous frat boy defending you past midnight on a Friday night. A boy who didn’t need to hear but just to see you needed help to step in.
All your desires and lusts after the man in front of you burst like a rubber-band and the urge to have him felt uncontrollable. “Take me upstairs,” you demand quickly, arousal creeping up your spine.
He doesn’t understand you’re extremely turned on. Instead he looks like a kicked dog who’s about to get in trouble again.
Nevertheless, he takes your hand and maneuvers out of the kitchen and up the stairs until his bedroom door is closed.
Harry lips are turned down unhappily as he begins, “I’m sorry, love. I...” he pauses a moment before continuing. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I hope you don’t think less of me.”
You look him dead in the eye and sign, “Kiss me.”
He blinks slowly at you like he just hallucinate the gestures.
So you repeat your motions, slow and with intent, “Kiss me, touch me, do something.” No more time is wasted as he is stepping in front of you and cupping your face in his hands.
Without any hesitation now, he pressing a bruising kiss to your lips - taking your bottom one between his and sucking.
Your hands are immediately tugging at the hem of his vintage shirt, pulling apart to bring it over his head. Dark ink decorates his torso, for some reason something you weren’t expecting. A butterfly on his abdomen, two fern branches, tattoos on his side.
Harry chuckles, “This is new to me.”
Your eyes go wide and you sign, “You’re a virgin?”
Harry snorts and rolls his eyes before telling you, “God no. I mean I’ve never been able to really communicate during sex.”
Then before You can speak, he cuts in a bit frantically, “I’ve always gotten consent - not like that. I mean-“ You cut him off with a kiss - knowing he would never do anything you didn’t want.
You wanted everything from him.
“If you’d believe it, I like a bit of dirty talk when I fuck - but no one understands what I’m saying,” He tries to crack a joke but for some reason seems insecure and nervous.
“Hey,” You take his chin so he shyly meets your eye, “I can’t wait to hear it - you’ve already made me so wet.” His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas.
“You’re such a good girl,” he signs before tugging off your shirt and instantly finding your lips again. His hands are skillful as they unclasp your bra without any struggle and tosses it.
You tugs a bit as his hair to show your enjoyment as his tongue finds your nipple - lapping before taking it between his teeth. As good as it feels, you want him to feel even better.
You push him back until he’s sitting in the edge of the bed, legs spread and hands behind him on either side holding him up. Jaw clenched with arousal and restraint.
He’s pressed against the zipper of his jeans. And all you wanted to do was see him in all of his glory. You’re quick to undo the button and determined to get the finicky zipper down as well.
His fingers come beneath your chin until you’re looking at his sparkling eyes, a look of lust made his lids a little droopier and his mouth slack from heavy-breathing.
“Are you sure you want to? You don’t have to - I want to eat your pussy either way, pet,” He signs, leaning in for a slow, wet kiss.
You sign back with a pout, “Shut the fuck up.” He huffs out a laugh, letting go of your chin and wrapping a hand in your hair to keep it out of your face.
As soon as he’s helping you wriggle his briefs and jeans down his narrow hips, you’re met with the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen.
When you make eye contact with Harry, he raises a eyebrow and grins cockily, “Is it nice enough for your liking, love?”
You nod breathlessly - wasting no more time before ducking down to take him to your mouth, a slight burning in your throat from how big he is.
His hands keep ahold of your hair, thumbs pressed against your temples as you bob down his length with sloppy, warm licks.
Harry’s moaning as you pop off to kiss and suck at the underside of him, hands coming to cup and roll his balls. It is a few moments later when he taps your cheek to get your attention, one hand leaving his hair to sign that he’s close.
Your mouth speeds up, wanting to give him all the pleasure you could. Your hand coming to stroke at what couldn’t fit in your mouth, pumping quickly.
Before you know it, Harry’s rutting his hips upwards and coming with a long, deep moan from the rumbles of his chest. He’s pulling you up into his lap, pressing appreciative kisses to your cheeks and jawline.
Big hands palming at your breasts before slipping down into your leggings, brushing softly over your mound. 
You whine and hitch forward to grind against his palm as soon as he cups you. He smiles widely at your desperation, pressing the heel of his palm harder against you to create more pressure.
You were already so wet and turned on that it wasn’t going to take much. The ball of your climax was burning low in your tummy. However, you wanted him to taste you like he said he would.
You sign, “I’m close. Please, I want your mouth on me.”
With that, he’s flipping you until you’re laid out on the bed. His hands tugging off your leggings and underwear with no further ado. “Holy shit,” He gestures, gazing all over your body and not stopping on one spot for too long.
“What?” You ask, fishing for the compliments you know he’s about to shower you in.
“You’ve got such a pretty pussy,” he signs, dimples popping in his cheeks and a curious finger traces your entrance before dipping in.
You lightly kick at his stomach, “Get on me.” He pouts, crooking his finger against your spot before pulling it out. Fucking tease.
Then his face is disappearing between your spread thighs and a strong lick is delivered from your clit all the way down to your bum.
Since he can’t hear you, you grabs handfuls off his hair. Tugging at the roots, scratching your nails into his scalp to let him know how good he is. So fucking good.
When you accidentally buck your hips hard against his mouth, you curse and run a apologetic hand through the locks. He doesn’t look up at you but lift a hand and signs, “Again.”
You absolutely whine, begging to ride him with determination - climax on the brink. He hums causing vibrations on the sensitive nerves. With that, your hips are meeting his tongue and you’re coming. His face dampening with your release - happy as a clam when he pops back up.
You can’t remember the sign for condom, so you sign, “Protection?” Harry understands right away, rustling through the drawer until he finds a stray packets, “It’s been awhile.”
“Same,” You gestures - watching as he slides it down his length and crawls overtop of you. He was pink and swollen - having to be a bit sensitive from just coming a little while ago.
“Ready, love?” He asks, pressing soft kisses to your jawline. You nod, reaching down to guide him in.
And you weren’t lying, it had been a while and he was big. The stretch wasn’t uncomfortable, just a lot. But his wet, open-mouth kisses made you stay grounded.
Harry’s moans were absolutely obscene as he slide all the way in before stopping to give you a moment. His arms strong, holding himself over you. The cold metal of his necklaces brushing against your tight nipples.
When you have him the okay, he begin giving you deep, hard strokes on each thrust. His noises so loud they had to be able to hear them downstairs. They were deep and low - rumbling in his chest with pleasure.
Then his hand is coming to your throat. For a wild moment you thought he was going to choke you but instead he rest it lightly, palm flat.
It takes you a moment - then it hits you.
Holy fuck. He is feeling the vibrations of your moans - erupting from your vocal cords. Feeling out the movement from your throat so he can feel how much you’re enjoying it.
You should be embarrassed but you can’t find it in you when you come again right on the spot. His fingertips nudging into the skin to feel the intensity as it wracks through you.
When you’re done riding out your orgasm, he reaches for the headboard behind you with his other hand, gripping it tightly as he begins to pound in with all his strength.
The bedframe is hitting the wall so loud that the whole house must be able to hear it. Hitting with every directed thrust until his mouth is dropping down into a long, timbred moan and he’s coming.
---
Later, when the two are you have settled for the night in the warmth of his bed. Harry seems a little nervous, once again. It takes him a moment to meet your eyes and brushes a strand of hair off your forehead.
“What is it?” You ask, tucked into his side. His body so solid and comforting.
“It’s corny,” Harry frowns, eyebrows furrowing as his eyes flash across your face.
“Tell me,” You insist, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss his fingertips.
“I feel like you were made for me. Like...we were meant to be together,” Harry signs, hesitant to share his thoughts. But it doesn’t scare you away. You can’t help but agree.
“I think so too,” You reply before pressing another kiss to his puffy pink lips.
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liquid-luck-00 · 3 years ago
Text
Demons & Sunshine 1
Day 1: Fairytale / Grumpy Cat
@maribat-calendar-events
Mari's past based on this post
Next
~~~~~~~~~~
Marinette has known, ever since she was little, that fairytales don’t exist.
At least not in the way most humans think they do.
Most people can’t see through the veil of mist that separates humans from the side of shadows, monsters, and magic.
She can.
She knows the world isn’t full of sunshine and rainbows, like most of the other little girls had grown up believing. No, she grew up in a world of shadows, in the world of magic. Meaning she is extremely skilled and proficient in magical arts, much to her father’s chagrin. And thanks to one nuisance of an apparition cough *DeadMan* cough her dad will never let her forget the only rule he has ever set for her.
If he’s told her once, he’s told her several times, don’t use magic around the Muggles. She read Harry Potter, turns out some of those spells are actually real, and started calling the majority of the populace Muggles. Most normal people think it’s cute and dismiss her thinking she is just a fan, and her dad is humoring her. She and her dad know different.
But that was besides the point, she is now 19 in an exchange program currently in Paris, France. And the only reason she was in France was because her university didn’t have Italy as an option this year.
She had met up with a few of the other students in her class to study. Their group would always reserve a study room in the library to go over shared classes, maths, sciences, language, and even toss ideas around for their personal subjects. Seeing that none of them were actually the same major.
She was always either the last or the first person to meet at the study room, today she was first. She got the key and just as she did Adrien walked up to her.
“Hey there Mari.” He waved and whispered matching her stride.
“Hey yourself pretty boy.” She teased him.
“So, do you know if Alya is bringing Nino and that other girl?”
“Dunno.” She shrugged, as she opened the door and set her things down. “Text her.”
He nodded but in that same moment her phone vibrated in her pocket.
Grumpy Cat: They are all insufferable.
Golden Retriever: It’s not like you are a ray of sunshine and totally easy to be around.
GC: Well that has nothing to do with making me miserable.
GR: From what I’ve heard that is what siblings do
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
GC: So, you are an only child?
GR: I'm starting to think you didn't always have brothers
GC: I never said that I had brothers.
GR: You didn't have to
GC: ...
How?
GR: It was a 50/50
Besides you confirmed it
"Hey girl who are you texting?" Alya walked into the study room followed by Nino and another girl.
"A friend from across the pond." She put her phone away and stood up. "Marinette." She extended her hand. "But everyone calls me Mari."
"Lila Rossi." The green-eyed, brown-haired girl answered shaking her hand. "Criminal Justice."
"Fashion and Business." She replied which prompted Adrien to introduce himself.
They fell into an easy rhythm. Almost as if Lila had always been there.
That after three hours they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.
There was a stretch of the catacombs she would regularly cut through, from campus to her apartment two miles away.
But one second, she was in the catacombs the next she had fallen though a portal. Landing on her hands and knees.
She stood up and started to dust herself off, rightfully, assuming who had opened the portal. “Ya know it’s easier if you call right?!” She still hasn’t looked up. “That’s why I have a phone.” Now she finally looked up and was standing face to face with the Justice League. Or at least quite a few of its members. “Bloody Hell!” She pinched herself before rubbing her temples.
“Constantine?” A woman she recognized as Zatanna asked.
“That is my name, Love.” Her sass on full display, she is her father's daughter after all. “And unless you need something I’m going. I don’t have time to stand around and chat.” A glyph appeared in her hand followed by a gate opening behind her.
“You are a Constantine, but you aren’t the Constantine we wanted here, so who are you really?” The big bad bat himself asked, but it sounded more like a statement.
“Figure that out on your own Batsy.” She dropped the gate spell and crossed her arms. “But I am Constantine.” She started to examine her nails. “Marinette Constantine, to be specific. So why the rush on needing my dad?" She questioned.
She then saw most of them, for lack of a better word, green screen before rebooting. Then the utter chaos that broke out would make Eris proud, as they either stared, yelled, or a combination of both. It got so loud that she couldn't even think properly.
"Are you kidding me?!" She sighed to herself, before she took off the ring she always wore. It extended into a staff, which she tapped on the ground twice. Her power surged sending out a small electric shock wave. "Shut up already." All eyes were on her, but this time it was quiet. "Yes, John Constantine is my father, so what. What do you need my dad for anyways?"
"A demon in Gotham took over a bat." Zatanna answered first.
"So, an exorcism?"
"It's Demon Spawn. He was born one." She heard from behind her. And seeing as it was nearly quiet the voice traveled. But she's heard that name, and that voice as well now that she thinks harder.
"You have to be kidding me!" She grumbled to herself as the bits and pieces formed the bigger picture. “Okay so do you want to give me any more information… Or should I just make this up as I go.”
“What do you mean by ‘just make this up’?” Another voice she couldn’t see spoke up.
“Well, an exorcism is based on the demon who is possessing the person, so each one is unique.” Oh, this was going to be fun, she thought to herself.
Fairytales don't exist.
At least not for Marinette, apparently.
But this, this is the start of something, at the very least.
Next
~~~~~~~~~~
Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha @animegirlweeb @jumpingjoy82 @thedragonbug @astoriaandroses @icerosecrystal @t1dwarrior-of-earth @moon5608 @zalladane @midnightrosecrystal @myazael @prettylittlebutterflie @toodaloo-kangaroo @roseisred @galaxymoon @queenz-z @mystery-5-5
Story Taglist: @arty-shadow-morningstar @laurcad123 @luminous-carrot
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narsicen · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Part: 1/2
Word Count:  18,101 (for both parts)
Pairing: Bang Chan (Skz) x GN! Reader
Genre: slice of life, college!au, lab partners!au, loving from afar, angst, fluff, bittersweet, Popular!Y/n, Quiet kid!Chan, first loves, meet cute,
Warnings: mentions of coffee, if there is anything triggering I missed, please tell me!
A/N: omg???? Me????? Posting?????? And writing????? Lol uhm I’m currently still in hiatus, just barely LMAOAOOA so I haven’t been able to do anything for the past months because well, I’m so burnt out with writing but i haven’t lost passion for it so dw, next I actually have some stories piled up for posting but I want to keep it that way to even out my content and because I take hELLA LONG?? To WRITE???? So kdhvkshghsdg so sorry everyone. but luckily, I already have the next few fics planned so hopefully if i can jusst follow my plan, then i should get them down with soon, btw I’m thinking of focusing on this series first before requests, becauSEEE, I’m passionate abt this LAIKAJSISO but i also rlly wanna explore how I’ll write these and I’ve planned like 3 of the other stories already so HSDLJHSdh
Part 2
Story under the cut!
A particular “ping” made Chan perk up from the pile of open books that lay on top of each other. He scrambled through the various papers of printed essays and research papers, throwing some discarded, crumpled, paper planes off the table.
“Hi, Chris! (Please tell me I got the right person) This is Y/N, your new science lab partner. I hope we can work together and cooperate :) P.S if you aren’t Chris from class - AB 3 please text me back as soon as possible thank you!”
Chan’s eyes grew with awe and he wore his signature grin as he read your text message. This must be the first- no probably the second time he’s ever been so excited to meet his new lab partner. (he hates science and he hates most of his lab partners)
“Hellooo Y/N, this is Chris, I can’t wait to work with you as well. To be honest, I was starting to get a little worried that I gave you the wrong number.”
Chan went through with his message for the third time, hoping it didn’t sound off or rude. The last thing he ever wanted to do was to give you a bad first impression on the lab partner you’d be stuck with for the next few months.
Through the countless times he’s tried to alter his words and maybe add a few emoticons and emojis to the message, he just either came off as a try-hard or some cringe dad.
He fiddled with his fingers behind his phone, thinking of some way to make up for how stiff his message came off. In the end, he settled for the “grinning face with sweat” emoji (according to Google, he had to make sure it didn’t come off weird) (he’s not weird I promise)
Pressing the little green “send’ button after a while of waiting. A hand flew to his eyes just as the messaging app made a small “whoosh” sound effect, indicating the message was successfully sent.
Ever since he set foot onto the new campus grounds of his university, ever since he caught a glimpse of the first few students that huddled at a table or two near the front gate. He’s heard your name from students left, right, behind, and above.
He’s heard all about you, not in a creepy way, of course, people just couldn’t keep their noses out of other people’s lives. Chan thought it must be hard to get so much constant attention from everyone around you, that sometimes it made him thank the heavens above for his lack of social interaction.
But even with this pet peeve, at times, he’d curiously listen to the things others say about you, it could be when he passed by some students in the cafeteria or by the lockers or even from students a chair or two away from him in class.
And you seemed like a nice person; he could see you being the protagonist of every superhero movie. Sometimes he’d wonder what it would be like to actually get to know you other than to just piece things together from a few “I heard Y/N loves dogs”.
You’ve done many admirable things that even he seemed to adore you from afar just like the rest, not in a creepy way, again. You sounded like a likable person with a lovable personality, and he wanted to get to know you as a friend.
He eventually planned to get closer to you,
but he’s just someone else in the crowd.
Sure he had friends, he’s gotten recognition for awards he’d get from swimming competitions or spelling bees’ maybe, but he’s just but in the end he wasn’t any different from the rest.
And you’re- you’re THE Y/N, who’s on the stage.
Do you know that kind of feeling?
He isn’t- crushing on you per se, he’s admiring you, he’d call it. Whenever he’d walk past your desk after finishing his paper earlier than you, or when he’d pass by you laughing with your friends, he’d just feel like he wanted to talk to you, there’s just something about you that pushes him to get closer to you.
And he was just fond of you. You can’t like someone in these types of conditions. Well, technically, it shouldn’t be possible.
He’s read and heard of love at first sight, but he’s just glanced at you, for all of his days in this pit you’d call college. There was just 0 to nothing for him to be crushing on you after hearing about you? seeing your eyes? and hearing your laugh? He knew himself, he wasn’t that easy.
He’s sure of it... At least he believes he’s sure of it.
“Oh.. haha, my bad! I really didn’t think you were waiting for my text but I guess this was my fault for making you worry.”
You seemed awfully sweet.
Chan held back a small smile at your message, it’s just as if he could hear your little voice in the back of his head.
“So.. Chris... Can I call you that? Let’s get to know each other soon! We could probably get some coffee.? Or if you’re not into that, what would you like to do? We need to be on good terms to work better together right?”
Oh my goodness.
Chan’s smile dropped almost immediately as he read your message. Oh no... Goodness no.
He set his phone down and looked at the wall in front of him, aimlessly trying to think of a reasonable answer, or even contemplating whether he should go or not, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I could meet with them and get to know them, they have a point, we have to be on good terms for us to work together better. But going would put them in an awkward situation of always starting up a conversation-!
His thoughts ran wild as he thought further into the question. He ran his hands into his hair, messing his curls up and aggressively ruffling them as he groaned loudly at himself.
Chan’s eyes closed in an attempt to think straight, he can’t leave you hanging for so long.
As he slowly opened his eyes, he eyed the text message of yours and with a heavy sigh, he told himself, Screw the consequences.
“You can call me Chan or Chris, whichever is comfortable for you, and sure, we can go get some coffee sometime.”
Chan mentally cursed at the haste of his fingers and as he read back his message, he did sound a little … stoic? He seemed to be a dry person on text, he is, but he doesn't want to talk about it.
“Great! There’s this new coffee shop in my district, wanna check it out together then? How’s Friday after classes?”
~
‘Um- Excuse me..? Y/N, right?’ Chan awkwardly gripped his bag strap, squeezing it tightly as he watched you turn your head to him with the warmest smile he’s ever gotten all year.
Oh my goodness
‘Oh- uh yep! That’s me, and you’re Chan right?’
Oh my goodness
Chan blinked for a few moments before nodding his head quickly, you chuckled slightly at his (very obvious) nervous reaction. You two awkwardly sat in your positions, weirdly looking at each other, waiting for the other to say something or to do something.
Maybe you two were just the same despite how different your worlds were.
‘Uhh.. h-have you ordered anything-?’ Chan scratched his neck to seem “natural” even if it wasn’t doing much anyway.
You forced a small cough into your fist just as you laughed awkwardly, breaking the weird eye contact you two just had. ‘No- uh- ye-yeah! Yeah.. I did, I didn’t know what you liked though so I just ordered you something simple.’
A small sorry smile crept to your face as you slowly looked back at the boy. ‘Sorry..’
O h. M y. G o o d n e s s.
Chan returned the smile with his own, a very very awkward, lopsided smile. ‘It’s fine- I like coffee any-‘
‘Two orders for Y/N? Please come to the counter to claim your orders!’ One of the workers from the counter yelled.
The two of you perked up to look in the direction of the counter.
‘Oh- well, I’ll go get our orders, you can go ahead and sit down. I'll be right back!’ You scrambled to pile your things together out of habit as you quickly gestured to the chair across your own to Chan.
Chan nodded timidly as he watched you get up to get to the counter. Just as you turned your back from him, he hugged his bag in front of him as he weirdly settled into his chair.
Slowly starting to feel more awkward by the second, he squeezed his bag closer to his torso, feeling eyes on his back despite no one really caring about what he or you did at all.
He fiddled with his bag strap, wrapping and unwrapping it around his finger as he waited for you to come back with your drinks.
It might have been a few minutes or even less than a minute, but to him, it just felt so different to be in this kind of setting where he thought everyone was looking at him.
How could you be in this type of environment every day and not freak out?
He thought you were amazing for that.
‘Hey! What’s got you so deep into thought? You seem bothered, is there something wrong?’ You offered him that same warm smile you gave him earlier. He realized how you were already sitting across from him.
As he looked up to meet your eyes, he could see your smile grow as you chuckled softly while you waved your hand in front of him.
He shook his head slowly, ‘No, I was just- thinking of ways to not mess up our conversation you know?’ You both laughed at his rough attempt to joke around. He’s more than glad that you think it was funny too.
~
Chan couldn’t hold back a hearty laugh as you told one of your goofy stories with the other friends of yours back at the university.
Chan thought his friend group was the wackiest but you seem to be just as wacky.
You couldn’t continue on as you laughed just as loud as Chan at your own stories. You had this side that made him adore you, even more, you were as everyone told him, probably the next best person to be living and breathing right now.
You two ended up having the weirdest stories ranging from science theories to Harry Potter books and now to embarrassing stories either you or your friends experienced.
I mean, at least the conversation didn’t end, right?
As soon as you were about to finish the story, an employee approached you two and told you that the shop was going to be closing soon so they should prepare to leave soon. You two didn’t notice how some of the people in the coffee shop had left already, there were still many for the capacity of the coffee shop, but it was calmer as compared to how it was when you two met up earlier.
Chan’s laughter calmed down as he blinked a small tear away from laughing too much, both of you following what the worker told you to do soon after. And as you two quietly packed your things away and grabbed your unfinished drinks to go with you, Chan would laugh softly at the remembrance of your story and you would accompany him with a giggle of your own.
While you two headed out of the coffee shop, Chan held the door for you to go first, he urged you to go before he did but you did the same as you joked how you two could (should) “equally” exit the coffee shop.
You were slightly embarrassed at how he held the door open for you, but in the end, you had to accept it with a laugh into your fist to ease your embarrassment.
‘Well.. that was a great story.’ Chan chuckled
You smiled softly at his little chuckle, you two awkwardly looked down at your shoes, and the surroundings around you two started to darken into a dark indigo color.
‘Uh-m I guess- this is goodbye..?’ Chan put up a small grin and a small unsure shrug.
You nodded your head timidly at his attempt to say goodbye. ‘I mean.. congratulations on not messing up our conversations today, I really had fun.’
You both giggled at your joke, referencing what Chan said earlier that afternoon.
This time, the both of you didn’t want the conversation to end, you two seemed like you wanted to keep talking and telling more stories, but unfortunately, every day had to end at some point.
‘I guess.. I’ll see you tomorrow then…? In the lab?’ You subtly asked the boy, you subconsciously played with your fingers as you held onto your notebook.
To this, he grinned.
‘I’ll.. see you tomorrow.’
~
Chan slumped into the metal chair facing the empty train tracks, he felt exhausted, not from your conversation today, but because of how much he’s been outside, talking to someone.
He felt like he had run a marathon, his eyes drooped and his legs felt like jelly.
“The train heading to _________ district 8 will be arriving in 30 minutes”
A goofy smile appeared as he thought about your little hang-out earlier, you were so nice and you just had something that made him excited.
And he wanted to tell you something funny again to hear you laugh. He thought that you had the prettiest smile as well, and in whatever you did, you were always so accommodating, it made him feel all warm and nice inside.
You were just too good to be true sometimes. He’s spent half the afternoon with you and he can conclude that you were probably the only other person he would love to talk to forever.
Okay, maybe not forever.. regardless, a long time especially for someone like him.
He couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
“Train ___ heading to _______ district 8 is arriving, please stay behind the yellow tape. Have a safe trip.”
The faint noise from the train coming from the tunnel signaled Chan to stand up, he waddled to stand right before the yellow line on the ground just as how the intercom advised.
He couldn’t wipe his smile off his face, even if his cheeks started to ache slightly, he felt excited.
Maybe this is what they meant how you’d feel when you take coffee.
Like a shot of espresso
Was it the americano you ordered him?
Or was it how you stayed and listened?
~
Maybe Chan should consider skipping lab period next time.
He dropped a flask.
Spilled someone else’s chemistry experiment on their papers.
Left the burner on for a minute too late
Possibly ruined your guys’ experiment
And bombed the first performance task he had to do with you.
Bombed as in nearly blew something in his face because he forgot to label some of the flasks.
What’s wrong with him today? He’s flunked his chances on impressing you, you'll never deem him worthy to be your lab partner now.
Well, one of the good things that happened was he didn’t end up in the infirmary after everything he’s gone through.
But you burnt your hand because you were trying to save the experiment that nearly evaporated.
For the rest of the day, he felt nothing but guilt and a load of angry judgmental stares from people all around the campus, even some of the freshmen he met gave him the stink eye!
Though it did wear off after a few hours of Chan cooping himself up in the library to avoid all the stares. He’s spent too much time hiding, he forgot why he was doing it in the first place, and he forgot to visit you in the infirmary after the class ended.
Chan’s head perked up from the book he enclosed in front of his face, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall if he ever walked to the infirmary and talked to you. Chan groaned internally at the results of nothing but speed walking down the halls to the library.
But it was past after-school hours and you definitely didn’t need to stay too long for a minor burn. He dropped his head low as he hid behind the book, he bit his lip in regret and cursed himself for forgetting, today might mark the day he’s going to find a new lab partner.
‘You do know the book you’re reading is upside down right?’ You awkwardly sat beside him, you didn’t know whether you two were comfortable with this distance.
Chan’s eyes widened, he stammered and stumbled over his words with ease.
‘No- I- wh- urghm..- w-what are you doing here?’ He struggled to flip the book the other way in haste, he looked back and forth between you and the book as he did.
You couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his “misfortunes”, you raised your hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds of your giggling, the librarian at school was a nightmare to argue with, you experienced that first-hand and you’re not making that same mistake again.
‘Keep your voice down, miss Olivia is not someone you’d want to mess with.’ You jest as you leaned in closer to whisper with a thumb pointing behind you, to a fairly young woman in her 30s glaring at the two of you from the other end of the library.
‘Oh-.. yeah… no kidding, she lectured me 4 times today for trying to use her ladder to get books,’ Chan mumbled, and with a sigh, he closed the book in his hands and raised it beside his head as he faced you. ‘Especially for this book.’
With a slightly uneasy frown, he glared at Miss Olivia’s back as she was taking her sweet time using her ladder to organize a row of books.
‘The book wasn’t even interesting..’ Chan huffed, this made you laugh again, he even joined you in laughing quietly.
If someone ever came across the two of you, they’d claim how ridiculous you too looked trying to laugh without a single squeak, possibly having freaked a freshman or two from the tables across Chan’s table.
~
‘Well.. maybe Miss Olivia was right, maybe we should have thought of leaving the library if we were just going to joke about how she dressed.’ Chan guffawed, he bent forward slightly, clutching his stomach as he laughed a little too hard.
‘Goodness, who thought you had the guts to actually question Miss Olivia.’ This time you laughed.
As the laughter died slowly into a comfortable silence, at least for you. As for Chan, he thought it might have made you uncomfortable until the lingering idea at the back of his head hit him right in the face.
‘Your hand!’ Chan’s thoughts spoke, quite literally.
‘Oh geez- you scared me,’ You chuckled as you flinched to look at his sudden outburst.
‘Oh I'm sorry I- I forgot to visit you at the.. infirmary this afternoon, and I am also sorry for.. burning your hand..’ Chan’s shoulders slumped in guilt as he glanced at you now and then to gesture at your bandaged hand awkwardly.
You subtly waved his apology off, laughing softly, “Everybody makes mistakes right? Plus it wasn’t too badly of a burn, that’s possibly why they advised us to use gloves in the lab.”
“Yeah but the whole day I had to hide in the library since everyone was indirectly making me nervous” Chan hugged himself exaggeratedly to point out his joke.
You giggled as you looked towards the setting sun as you two walked towards the gates of the school. “Well.. these things are gonna happen anyway, don’t mind them, sooner or later they wouldn’t even remember this ever happened.”
“Oh really?” Chan turned to you with a slightly unconvinced reaction as he hugged himself tighter, reminding you of the joke he made earlier.
Both your laughs and ongoing jokes stopped as a big gust of wind blew by. Brings some leaves to scatter and drag on the narrow driveway you two walked on. The setting sun burned the blue skies with tints of orange and red, crunchy leaves drag themselves all around them, making a slight crinkle sound from a leaf or two, and the small pebbles that rub against both your soles, accompanied with your the small taps from either yours or Chan’s shoes, you couldn’t tell.
Chan wouldn’t admit it, but he felt like you were right. Reassurance sure is nice, even if it didn’t promise anything. Chan’s shoulders relaxed as he let his body sway ever so slightly with the wind rushing by you two.
“So.. you’re not worried anymore? You know.. that people would keep staring at you.”
“No, you told me not to worry.” Chan smiled at you.
You thought he had a unique smile, in your opinion, and in the nicest way possible, you thought he resembled a dog.
“I guess this is goodbye, my district is over there.” Chan turned to you just as he stopped at a certain convenience store just a few steps away from the school gate, he pointed his thumb behind his back to nothing in particular but at the path going off into a neighborhood.
You nodded your head as you purse your lips. “Alright... I guess it is, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“We don’t have lab tomorrow though?” Chan raised his brow curiously, did you forget there wasn’t a laboratory period tomorrow?
“I mean- we could still meet, right? I’m pretty sure there’s no rule that forbids us to meet aside from lab periods.” You hesitate to fully say your suggestion, rejection was … quite frankly a rare thing for you, so you decided to take caution.
“Oh.. uh- yeah! Why- why not..? I mean sure we can... I just- don’t know if you’re free..?” Chan’s voice slowly turned softer as he rambled on.
You chuckled softly before nodding your head at his answer. “Technically, I would have the time since I suggested it. But we will see.”
As you two bid each other a goodnight and a pleasant goodbye, both of your minds had racing thoughts and endless pep talks. All that the sun touched that day was nothing less than happy.
~
12:34 pm
About 30 minutes before lunch break, Chan noted.
It’s been a few hours since you two said “hello, good morning, what’s your first class today?”
Well, it sort of seemed like none of your classes seemed to align today, which bummed Chan out a lot. He kind of wished you were part of his literature class so he could be your partner and he wouldn’t be counting the minutes till he gets to leave.
You can’t blame him though, and he most definitely did not hate his partner, it was Jisung, how could he hate one of his closest friends? But he certainly wished Jisung would stop his weird jokes, but aside from that, they don’t seem like a bad team for the assessment.
He convinced himself that he shouldn’t be too clingy (he thinks it’s him being a tad bit too “clingy”) and he tried to admit that there shouldn’t be any problem right now, he’s with one of his best friends and he’s doing alright in his literature class, everything was smooth.
But a small part of him asked about how you were doing in your “dreaded” calculus class.
Jisung snapped his fingers in front of Chan’s eyes that were focused on their small scattered pile of papers on their desks, but he seemed to be unresponsive to all that Jisung said or asked.
“Earth to Chan? Are you still there? Hello??? Little Chan, please tell Chan to pay attention to our project!” Jisung jokingly knocked at Chan’s forehead with the back of his index finger and middle finger.
Chan furrowed his brows in confusion and slight disgust at Jisung interrupting his thoughts. “I’m still listening, I’m just- thinking.”
“Does it have to do with our 3-page reflection paper that we need to complete by the next two weeks?” Jisung tried to put his chin up to act serious. Chan looked at Jisung in confusion as he glanced around the classroom before nodding his head reluctantly.
“If you were thinking about it, you would have at least answered my questions, I mean I was asking some interesting questions and you didn’t even bat an eye at me!” Jisung crossed his arms and shook his head disappointingly at his partner.
“Well- what was your question anyway..?”
“So you lied!”
~
Chan ruffled his hair just as he yawned. What a day.
It completely slipped Chan’s mind all about your agreement the day before. It didn’t cross his mind even if he escaped literature and he just went on with his day without realizing he forgot something.
4:35 pm
It’s been a long day.
Chan couldn’t wait to get home and faceplant into his bed. This past few weeks college has been sucking him dry, it was sort of a miracle if he remembered certain meetings around the campus.
He trudged down the stairs with his backpack hanging off his shoulder, his eyes barely stayed open, it was weird how he hadn't slipped and just slid down the stairs.
“Chan?”
“Hm?” Chan whipped his head around and looked around aimlessly trying to find someone who called his name.
“I guess your day has been eventful.” You giggled at his confused expression. He had this particularly odd-looking smile, it wasn’t big or anything as compared to a grin or a tight-lipped smile you usually give people.
“My day? Oh no, it wasn’t that bad, I’m just insanely tired from trying to write a 3-page essay for literature earlier.”
“All in one sitting?”
“Nope, I wished though.” You laughed softly as you felt a little embarrassed to laugh a little too loud with the very few students still left in the corridors.
You noticed Chan’s state as you two walked down the stairs together, he had a slight drag on his feet, and miraculously he wasn’t tripping on his other foot. He was asleep, but also awake? Your lab partner is just as interesting as your lab experiment.
“That’s weird.” You muttered with a small smile tugging at your lips.
“What’s weird?” Chan muttered back, like two friends sharing secrets.
You guffawed at his reaction and his response. You will never really understand how he works and he gets a little more unexpected the longer you sit around him.
“How about I take you up on that agreement we had yesterday?”
“Agreement-?” Chan scrunched his face up a little, trying to rack his brain of anything about the day before.
“… That we could hang out after classes? Or to just hang out again today..?” You tried to hint it out for him, you hoped he did remember it though, it was rare anyone made you do this, you know, hint it out for them to remember.
“Oh?”
“You know what? Maybe we should just go get you something to wake you up, you’re basically a zombie. How’s coffee?” You put a supporting hand on his shoulder as he was tipping a little off to the other side, you worried that he was about to faint if you kept talking and ignoring his state.
“Oh... That’s okay, I like coffee anyway.” Chan replied as he smiled, it was a little lop-sided but you thought it was one of his best features, based on how long you’ve been with him.
~
“How do you like Americano? Is it not too bitter for you?” You eyed his dark drink in his hand as you two walked around the neighborhood park in the area.
“No..? How do you like Caramel Macchiato? Is it not too sweet for you?” Chan raised a brow at your drink.
“No?? It isn’t even sweet-“ You put the back of your hand to your mouth as you laughed at his reaction, he cringed as you tried to explain why you like your choice of coffee.
“Well.. Americanos don’t seem bitter to me,” Chan added a tone into his comeback as if to sass you, but all you could do was laugh a little harder into the back of your hand, and you soon made him laugh too. “You just can’t handle it I guess.” He scoffed.
“Goodness.. you sure like to surprise me every time.” You shook your head playfully as you giggled a little.
“Surprise you? In what way?” Chan’s smile grew as he awaited your answer.
You fidget with the straw in your cup by twirling the beverage with it as you try to juggle your words around. “Well you.. have really interesting reactions, that’s one. Two, you seem to be really genuine with how you react to me.”
Chan’s smile turned into a small tight-lipped smile as he listened to you.
“At first, you seemed like you just wanted to impress me, but in the end, you just started to become someone you’d meet every day-“
Chan was about to open his mouth to thank you for saying such nice things, but coming from you felt like a weird dream he never wanted to wake up from. But he was touched and he couldn’t or he wouldn’t want to let you know that, this meant a lot to him.
“- I don’t mean that you’re like- not special or anything.. I just.. I don’t meet a lot of people like you… anymore.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean- with everyone just thinking I’m like someone high and important, no one ever has their own thoughts or ideas anymore, it’s just all aligned with mine and I’m-.. not open to anyone or anything “new” or “ordinary” anymore.”
You held your hand by the cap, fingertips just slightly gripping the sides, letting that hand fall to your side as you watched your shoes kick stones along your way. Rambling on all about the burrow of problems in that head of yours.
“I’ve been around a lot of people who just constantly expect so much, even if it was indirect or when they don’t even mean it that way. You know what I mean?”
“But you wouldn’t want to be someone who’s always stuck in literature classes or someone who just won a few medals in swimming competitions.” Chan offered you the sweetest smile you’ve ever received in a while, it radiated the sun, it felt warm and welcoming, and you wished to have such a sugar-sweet smile to offer to someone.
You were so jealous. Because you know what? Maybe you did want to be someone who was always stuck in literature classes, maybe you did want to win a few medals from small local swimming competitions even if it were just bronze medals, heck! Maybe just winning a position in the runner ups or just being able to participate!
What do you have to do to get a simple.. care-free life like this? A normal life like this?
Everyone just seemed to be better and living a better life, better than yours.
“I’m so jealous of you.”
“Me?” Chan pointed to himself hesitantly, he didn’t want to make assumptions about who you referred to as “you”.
You laughed a little under your breath, “Yeah, weirdly enough, I am,” You smiled sadly at the dark asphalt beneath your shoes. “You’d think that I’d be happy, and I have everything every freshman wishes for in their Junior year.. but all I got were stares.”
“Stares? Well maybe, that’s because you’re doing so well in almost all that you do?” Chan tried to comfort you and to lift your spirits higher as you stumble over thoughts and your feelings.
What were you doing? You’re embarrassing yourself, that's what, you thought to yourself, an uncomfortable lump formed in your throat, making it hard to swallow. You feared you would probably sound stupid if you spoke right then and there.
You forced a small smile at the boy who looked at you a little concerned, you hated that look, did he pity you? Or was he faking being concerned at your little sob story.
He was just your lab partner, after all, You don’t even know each other well enough, would he care?
You shook those thoughts away, you trusted that he wouldn't be like that, you prayed and crossed your fingers that he wouldn’t ridicule you after this. You just overshared a tad bit, that shouldn’t be a problem, right?
“Y/N? Are you alright?”
“Yup, I think I’m just a little out of it today, this coffee is a little too sweet.” You chuckled into your fist, brushing off what just happened earlier.
“Oh.. I can drink it for you or I can get you a new one if you don’t want it anymore, you don’t need to drink it. I'm speaking from experience, those types of light-headedness are not fun, especially after school.” You laughed at his offer, you wanted to just take that leap of faith and trust him.
You want to consider him your best friend from that day on, he was a gem. But you can’t..
“I mean I could just drink it later, plus- you said you didn’t like sweet coffees?”
“Oh no.. Like I said before, I like coffee anyway, I just don’t prefer it too sweet.” Chan made a small pinch with his fingers as he tried to show you a measurement of his preference for preferred sugar levels in his coffees.
“Well help yourself,” You handed him your drink, you barely drank from it since you seemed too in your head rambling on to your lab partner. He reluctantly took your drink, he was a little cautious, and he didn’t think you’d actually give it to him.
Chan took a sip of your drink and cringed at the sweet taste that left a bitter aftertaste of the coffee, squeezing his eyes shut and he sucked his teeth in as he nervously eyed your drink’s cup with the logo of the cafe.
“Wow.. that is sweet.. TOO sweet.” Chan scoffed at your understatement of ‘a little too sweet’, to him, that was a little too flavorful for him, maybe caramel macchiatos are just not his thing..?
“I did warn you.” You laughed at his expression as he sipped the beverage again, he thought maybe it was just because of his bitter, plain-old americano, but no, this was way too sweet for his liking, for anyone at all!
That or Chan has a thing for bitter, plain-old fashioned Americanos more than bright, sugary sweet caramel macchiatos.
“Oh uhm.. this- this is my stop.. sorry our “hang-out” was cut short, my mom would be worried if I missed the bus home.” You awkwardly glanced at the bus station that hung around the corner of a building.
Chan waved you off followed with that same sweet smile that you thought matched really well with the overly sweetened coffee in his hand. You returned that smile to the best you could. “It’s understandable, it is getting late, get home safely.”
You nodded at his goodbye. You two waved to each other as both of you shuffled further in the opposite direction, Chan noticed the orange-tinted skies and the red sun burning through the blue sky, the red streaks mixed with orange made Chan wonder in awe, after a long day, the sun still tries to glow, how admirable.
Chan smiled as he walked back to his district.
He’s glad you.. “opened up” to him.
But Chan wanted to say he knew how you felt but no one likes being told that, he wanted to say he wouldn’t do that to you, but would you even believe that? He wanted to let you know how much you sparkled in his eyes and maybe to others too, but you probably would have just laughed it off, he wanted to tell you that being someone like him was nowhere as a good or comfortable place as you thought,
He was a coward, nobody likes a coward.
‘Did I mess it up again?’
~
You leaned your head onto the glass window of the bus you rode on, this wasn’t even your bus.
It was going in the opposite direction of your home.
You argued that no one could blame you, you wouldn’t like to bore someone all after that awkward confession of yours, you could have kept everything together like you were supposed to
But something pushed you to tell him.
Sighing quietly with your hand under your chin, you watched the shadows of the sunset turn darker as the faint reflection of the moon shone through the window. Each street lamp passing by became blurred lines mixed with the green bushes by the sidewalk.
Maybe if you just did what you were supposed to do, maybe if you controlled your emotions, maybe if you kept your mouth shut
You could call him your first real friend.
Now that’s out the window, who would take that confession so lightly, who would look at you the same once this gets out around the campus?
You frowned at your reflection on the glass pane, as you stared at it longer, you realized how you looked as if you wanted to cry.
That lump in your throat made it hard to swallow, your emotions were leaking like a broken pipe, and you couldn’t help but tear up a little. Just as you thought you could trust someone, just as you thought you could finally make a friend who you genuinely wanted to get to know.
You’re not the Y/N everyone adored and wanted to be, you weren’t the Y/N that was “friends” with everyone in every room you walked into. You weren’t the Y/N everyone loved.
You knew that, but you tried to be that person.
The same person who looked back at you in the mirror was the person you wanted to be.
And now Chan knows this.
He knows you’re not what everyone made you out to be.
He’s seen you like this
You were so jealous of him, he probably doesn't have to worry about how anyone thought of him, he could be normal. He didn’t have to worry about weird stares you felt on your back every day.
He probably didn’t have to worry about what others thought about him to make a friend or two.
What would other people think about you now?
What would Chan think of you now?
‘I should have kept quiet.’
~
Chan fiddled with the spare flasks on your guy’s shared desk at the laboratory. As he waited for the experiment to condensate, the slight clinking of glass sounded louder than the scattered chatter. To Chan, it felt like a boom, the kind of boom that you’d see in comic books, the kind of boom that you’d hear from a loud drum.
Settling the flasks he toyed with onto the desk, he buried his head into his folded arms, resting his head to the side, watching his experiment bubble and whistle.
“Did I really scare them off?” Chan muttered to himself.
“I should’ve said something..”
“I was supposed to say something else wasn’t I?”
Chan’s eyes focused on the liquid on the burner but his thoughts were far off.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! Chan knocked his head thrice with his fist, he knew it was really awkward but, he tried his best didn’t he?
Carefully, he put on his gloves before taking the flask off the burner to stop it from scuffing his project. You weren’t there to help him so the best he could do is follow the instructions you left in case you couldn’t assist him ever since the incident when you burnt your hand.
“They would probably feel too awkward to talk to me again.. what should I do?” Chan wrote down his report as he heard his professor drawing in the classes’ attention, indicating it was time to wrap up.
~
Chan’s phone screen lit up, showing a text message. He looked over to where his phone was, turning away from the book he borrowed from the library. His literature homework wasn’t going to read itself, which is why you would find him at the library, actually reading.
“Hey Chan, sorry about skipping lab class today, I had something important to catch up on :(( but if you don’t mind, can we meet up in a bit? It has something to do with the project.”
Oh.
Chan gulped as he read your message, you .. sounded off?
He knows no one can really tell from how you text but, his stomach’s telling him that this wasn’t going to end well for either of them.
~
“The garden?” Chan murmured as he read through another reply of yours, indicating the meeting place. He’s been circling the campus for a while in search of this “garden” you told him about.
“Chris! Over here!” You waved from a familiar fountain, Chan could have sworn your word choice was a little- misleading. There was just a patch or three of grass and shrubs with a singular rose bush in the area; he wouldn't exactly call this a garden.
“Oh- sorry, I got mixed up with which garden you meant. My bad.” Chan sheepishly walked over to you, slightly looking down, like a dog with its tail between its legs.
“Ah, yeah.. sorry I didn’t specify.. I just labeled this area the garden since freshman year.” You offered a small smile. Something Chan has seen you offer other people in class as well.
This was it. This was the sign Chan didn’t want to see.
“So.. what did you want to talk to me about?” Chan averted his gaze from yours now and then as he felt awkward staring into your eyes.
You fidgeted with your fingers, averting your eyes from his as well.
“I was thinking, since the deadline drew closer for our project, I suggest we do our experiment in parts. I've been busy with .. uhm.. other subjects these days too, I think I’ll find the setup easier to manage.”
Chan listened closely to you, your voice grew smaller as you spoke, it was as if you were forced to say this.
Chan sighed quietly, nodding his head in understanding. He shouldn’t bother you anymore if he thought hard, he knew you two hanging out after the project was a far stretch, to begin with, you both had to slowly let each other off somehow.
“It’s alright, I understand.”
“.. alright so I’ve split our jobs into two, here are the instructions and reports for your part, And uh..” You shakily handed a clear folder with paperwork and blank sheets in it to Chan, to which he accepted hesitantly.
“.. uh…”
“Uhm.. I guess I’ll see you on presentation day or something then?” Chan concluded after looking at the file you gave him. He sent you a small smile that reflected your smile earlier.
“… y-yeah, sure.” You nodded reluctantly.
After bidding each other a very awkward goodbye, you two went on your “merry” way, hoping for a miracle to happen to fix this.
~
“So.. they just… gave you the files and left?” Jisung scratched his head as he squinted his eyes at Chan trying to squeeze an answer out of Chan.
“Yeah.”
“And you’re just going to.. accept it and do your part till they say something?”
“Yep”
Jisung sighed. He took out the lollipop in his mouth that he’s been leaving to melt in his mouth.
“Chan, what are the odds that they would talk to you again? You have to make the first move, you can’t keep wishing for a miracle if you avoid everything, obviously, the opportunity will never strike you!”
Chan just slumped into his chair before pursing his lips together, glooming at the folder you gave him.
Jisung was right and Chan knew it. But what are the odds that he would do what Jisung said? Make the first move?
If anything, Chan was just good at music, he wasn't good at literature, he hated science, he doesn’t like math, he was not in the council and he was just getting by with average grades.
With what he has so far and what he does, the more he doubts about this miracle he’s hoping for.
What a waste, college was supposed to be the time of his life, but he’s here doubting when he’s only got his Junior-, no half of his junior year, and his senior year left, then who knows what’ll happen then.
Chan pondered on the thoughts that constantly re-occur, “half of my junior year and my senior year.. then who knows what’ll happen then.”
What will happen next after this stage in both of your lives? You get a job, he moves away for his job, you might get a master's, you both draw away, and - sooner or later you’re both back at square one, strangers, just like in your freshman and sophomore days.
And when he looks back, what would he see? Regrets? A load of crap he would tell himself about being able to fix this? The stuff he wished you said? The things he wanted to say? Or the things you two were supposed to be?
What a nice way to remember the prime times of your life.
Chan grumbled.
He’s been stuck in his hoodie and underneath his own shadow, hiding in his dorm room and just going on through his day like a normal person, everyday was monotonous, every day he woke up to the same tune of his alarm, he ate the same cereal, he wears the very same choice of clothes, and he goes to the same classes to do the same thing every day.
It’s time he makes college a moment for him to remember. Who wants to look back into 4-5 years of his life with the same routine, Every. Single. Day.
If he doesn’t talk to you ever again because of this, he’ll never forgive himself.
He wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that all these words were all in his head. It would suffocate him, he just knew it would just like every other unsaid thought of his.
“Shi-“ Chan muttered a curse halfway as he rolled to stand up from his bed.
These past years of his life were a blur, what was there to remember? What was there for him to look back to anyway?
Is this what they meant when they made up the saying, “It’s now or never”?
“I have nothing to lose” that’s another saying.
“Go big or go home”?
“The time is now”, that’s another.
How do you tell someone something without actually telling them that “something”?
You can’t, that’s the problem Chan has to overcome.
Chan rummaged through his desk for anything: paper, pen, correction tape, a page of his math textbook(?), anything! He wanted to hold onto something that could be useful! Useful.. Useful, anything..?
He threw onto the desktop all the junk he’s grabbed onto. Flicking the switch of his lamp aaaaaaand.. what a letdown…
A pad full of paper, a half-used pen, cut-out shapes from his math homework, and a pile of unwanted science and literature essays. Goodness, this was supposed to be his “moment”, maybe this is why he hasn’t done anything “significant” in his life?
“This- will do…” he grabbed the pad full of paper, and his half-used pen. Pushing the rest of the junk on his desk to the side to have a fresh, clean desk to write on? Or to draw maybe? He hasn’t figured out what exactly he wanted to do.
Make paper planes?
Write a letter?
~
“Write a letter?” Chan resounded his thought, cliche, every movie has done it, every cliche love story starts with letters, not all but, it was cliche. But what choice did he have?
What path could he take?
He’s in a box filled with water, with no key. He’s going to have to find a way to do anything in a box filled with water. Unrealistic comparison but this whole problem was unrealistically impossible to get out of in the first place, it was his first time to do this, he’s going to have to knock some attention to the box he’s stuck in. That was his first step.
Dear Y/N- no that sounds weird.
Hello! - erm..
Chan was making blots of inks and erasures on his first sheet. He made faces at his work every time he made something up, quick to erase the words he would write, just like this was his first time to be in this position, he’s never taken the initiative to write his first ever love letter.
Love letter? No no this was just his.. vent. That’s all.
Taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes. This won’t be shown to you. This was his deep pit to pour out his frustrations and feelings. But this is his only way to talk to you indirectly, if he finds the courage to give these to you, the moon would be blue.
Dear Y/n,
Please don’t be frightened when you read this.. or if you do read this. This really is not meant to be creepy! I would love to tell you who I am, because I don’t want to frighten you at all. Do understand this is my first time writing letters to someone. So if it gets awkward or- really weird, just know this would be weird for me too.
It’s weird writing to someone when I could just tell you the contents of this letter, you know, verbally. But I find it really hard to.. talk to you. Weird right? Maybe it’s because whenever I’m near you and I try to speak, they’re just stuck in my throat or in my head. I get really nervous but comforted and at peace at the same time.
I feel that you could make someone feel almost everything in a single blow. Weird right? But that’s how I feel. I’m sorry if that sounded really- creepy but I mean it in a good way, one second I could feel intimidated, the second- I’d feel like I fit in, the third, you’d make me feel as if we’ve known each other for 20 years instead of 20 minutes.
You’re incredible, I mean it. You are one incredible thing, you’re everything nice, Goodness that sounds so stupid, I’m no good at writing letters. I’ve never liked literature, have I told you that? I absolutely hate reading long books. I hate math, and I hate science textbooks.
I like to swim, I used to be a part of this junior swim team. You told me you liked caramel macchiato, swimming is- something like a caramel macchiato to me, it’s cringy to say but, when you take the first sip, it sort of shocks you awake, your mouth gets sour from the sweetness, and then the bitter zap from the coffee, it’s just the same when you get into the water, it's cold then warm then ticklish? I can’t explain it but no matter how weird the feeling is, it never gets old. You just can’t get enough of the feeling or you just can’t get sick of it. And the feeling never sticks long enough for you to remember, so you end up going back to it.
Sorry if I’m rambling, It’s weird for me to express these thoughts from the top of my head, much less to actually write it, I’ll probably never read this again, I do hope that- You won’t find out who I am so soon though. I’d be more than embarrassed.
If you end up finding out who I am. Please don’t tell me you know me. I’ll only cower more. I’ve had my fair share of cowering away, more than enough.
I do hope this letter will find you in good condition, and with that, I’ll see if I can write you another letter. Maybe I’ll be better at writing these? Who knows, well.. you would but..
Anyway, I’ll see you soon?
From:
—————
_____________________________
Dear Y/N
5/4/22
Hello, it’s me again. Don’t mind the dates, I feel like I have a long way to go before coming to terms with myself and actually giving these letters to you. So- I decided, that maybe these can be memory keepers? Uh- like photographs, I actually never thought of what to put in these letters, especially since I think I’m talking to you, like actually talking to you through these letters. I feel it’s unsettling to start telling you my fears or something. I could tell you all about my day but it would just be me describing how the food at the canteen never ceases to gross me out, or all about my friends, or just about me. This seems really insensitive, but what can I say? I’m talking to a piece of paper.
I think I’ll find myself forgetting about these letters after a while, and I’d end up throwing them out once I move back to my parent’s home after college. Or when I move out to a separate home that I’d be spending my days in, till I think about getting a new house.
I ran out of ideas on what to talk about, so if the correction tape starts to chip, don’t mind the erasures. I guess I should talk about my day. Today was - eventfully dull, like always, I mean what’s so special about going to class (the same classes to be exact) and doing the same things all day, everyday. I did our science project in the study cubes we have in the library. It's actually- fairly comforting to have a whole box to yourself. I feel the study cube could be one of the investments of the school that I personally enjoy the most. Have you studied there before? It was my first time if you hadn’t noticed yet. It was surprisingly .. nice to be alone for once, it was quiet, not the awkward type considering the whole front wall and door is made of glass, I think the giant, white, obnoxiously large letters that spell out “study cube” helps keep the other student’s noses out of your business, whoever designed that is brilliant, brilliantly- stupid? I mean I’m no interior designer but they could have done better. (Back me up here, you’re the one in an interior designing class.) (Well only if you want to.)
It’s currently 12:34 am, I would say good morning but...
Anyway, I’m tired, you must be tired, I’ll head to bed, I hope we can talk in person soon, so I can actually stop caving in my dorm room, writing letters like you’re gonna read this. But I can wait. Okay, that sounded weird, but I can’t even keep a yawn in right now. Good night, I can't wait to lock this in my drawer.
from: ________
__________________________________
Dear Y/N
5/5/22
It’s me again. Again, please don’t talk about the dates, I guess you can see how often I want to talk to you? Never mind, that sounded stupid and weird. Please don’t think of me that way.
Do you know Jisung? Han Jisung? He’s told me before that you guys share the same social studies classes, he’s from the literature department, and he’s also tried to sign up for the school paper once, do you remember that? It was during sophomore year I believe, we haven’t met yet, but I guess we saw each other briefly, you were the - editor in chief? Was it? Or someone important in the office, and Jisung mistook you as the person who declined his “audition” (I forgot the term, was it submission?) for the papers, you did look like someone, the someone who actually did disapprove of his work. I was the friend beside him that day that he tried to and I quote “give you a piece of his mind” I still haven’t apologized to you about that, I just felt it was a little weird for me to still remember something like that so I felt embarrassed to bring it up to you now that we’ve actually met.
I do hope that you haven’t strayed away from making friends with my friends. I admit, maybe I did do something wrong but please don’t limit yourself, they’re good friends, I shouldn’t be the reason why you’re avoiding people that I’m usually around with. If I could promise and show you that I would actually mind my own business, I would. Whether you become my friend’s best friend, I really wouldn’t mind. As long as you don’t take them away from me, I wouldn’t mind, even if we aren’t comfortable talking to each other anymore.
That was some word dump, my bad. You know if these get cringed and you did read them, burn these letters, it’s the least you can do before telling me you never want to hear from me again. Knowing me, I’ll never EVER stop thinking about the fact that these letters could be up and running around the campus.
Have you read or watched the series “To all the boys I’ve loved before”? I’ve never been so traumatized from it, which is why now that I have my own letters to keep, I’m quite literally keeping them with my life. Okay wait before you go and ask me why I watched or read the series, I have a sister. And a friend named Changbin.
Seo Changbin, he’s majoring in physical education? Something about a major in sports, I think? I’m not too sure about myself anymore, he’s been transferring and having second thoughts about his course since sophomore year, and I can’t keep track of whether he’s in economics or sports, animal care, or culinary art. This can explain my case, he’s all over the place and you can’t understand what’s going on in his brain so ask him why he thought the series was fun and asked me to join him. (To be fair, it was confusing, but I did find the series- uh- interesting. It’s not my favorite show, but I don’t think it’s as bad as people say it is? I just don’t see why there’s such a big fuss about the movie series with the book series, so I watched and read both.)
Not the stereotypical, “my sister watches said series like any other girl.” She usually isn’t into those. I can vouch for her, for the past.. 18-19 years of growing up with her, I've never ever seen her read a book with that type of genre. And she seemed interested too. So I mean adds on to reasons why I might wanna see what the show’s all about right?
It’s uh- 3:45 pm, and I’ve been stuck in the infirmary with a badly twisted ankle, and I got to pass my time icing the injury so, might as well get a letter done right? I got the injury from playing soccer with my friends, it was a hassle hopping to the infirmary with 2-3 other people dragging attention to you by sobbing and acting like you got a limb cut off.
Until the next letter then.
From:
_______
~
Chan stretched his arms, leaning back on his chair, another letter finished. He sighed in contentment, his lips formed a flat smile, it held certain contentment and a tinge of fatigue from the finals week he had to accommodate together with his ongoing letter-writing agenda.
It seemed as if he’s been writing letters to you for a while now, even if he only started a few weeks ago. Chan wondered how much his letters have accumulated now. He reached over to the other end of his desk, pulling out the drawer he stashed the letters in, the sealed envelopes were all scattered on top of each other, all with dates and entries like “Letter 4” or “To: Y/N. From: “
He sighed at the sight of the envelopes, picking up a few every now and then to read all that is on the surface of each letter; if he bothered to count, these letters would outnumber the fingers his hands had. Had he been writing every day? He scoffed at himself, knowing well enough he was- amazed that he had this much to say.
Putting the letters back into the drawer, not really caring if letter 8 was under letter 5. He refocused to the newly written letter on his desk, he folded the paper neatly before putting it into a brand new envelope, snapping a tape off the small tape dispenser he stationed on the side of his table, glancing at that little tape dispenser as he was about to reach for the drawer to let the letter in his hand join the rest of his collection, he’s going to need a new roll if this prolongs or if he plans to say any more to you.
Oh goodness.
Chan closes his eyes as he leans back into his chair, his fatigue caught up fast, it was nearing 1 in the morning.
“What did I even do today?” Chan wondered to himself. As he was recounting the events of his day. Come to think of it, his recent days were just spent in the library preparing for the finals, or doing homework in class and writing letters in his dorm room.
As he thought about how his time managing skills were average, to say the least, he couldn’t help but doze off to other topics. He thought of everything he’s done, and everything he’s written, no matter how boring his day was, he always had something to write to you about. He hasn’t talked about his feelings or anything, just about himself, like his hobbies, his friends, his day, it was like those introductions in kindergarten.
Chan glanced at this mini calendar on his desk, it had a line character on the left side of the calendar, and a few of his annotations on the right. Things like “Changbin’s birthday” and “family dinner” were the common things he’d write, just simple reminders in case he missed the notification on his phone.
He looked past the dates with big red circles, those marked the dates of his final exams, and as he looked past those, there was a small note on the last day of the month, “Christmas break”.
Chan could only imagine what Christmas break would look like after finals. He wondered,
By then, would you and him be friends again?
~
Chan cursed under his breath as he mopped up the spilt apple juice on the wooden floors of his living room. It was way past 8 in the evening, his parents asked him to clean up a little bit after the party his relatives threw for his little cousin in his house. Perfect timing as well, just the day before his graduation. Tomorrow was the big day, finally the day that will mark his completion in college and his successful years passing his course with average grades and a finished bucket list.
His parents were taking down decorations and keeping leftovers, even though the constant rustling and crumpling from the cleaning session in Chan’s kitchen, Chan felt so at home with his thoughts, it was quiet in the neighborhood weirdly enough because usually, he would hear a loud motorcycle zoom past his house at an ungodly hour or an overly enthusiastic rooster or even a party down the street with obnoxious music on the highest volume.
It was like a once-in-a-lifetime thing for Chan, one of his “must-sees” before he leaves his childhood neighborhood, it’s weird because he was against the idea of leaving when his father introduced it to him with the jobs available for Chan in the next city or in the state next to his current one. But every time he thought of everything that happened in this place, all he could think about is college and then the time he fell down his bike and rolled down the street when he was 9, the only reason he wouldn’t leave was because he was comfortable here, no one ever cared that he was wearing a sweater in the middle of summer or no one really cared that he was moving, when he gets out of this place, no one will ever know someone named Christopher Bang.
Maybe his relatives, a few friends, a couple of batch mates but what are they worth in a neighborhood the size of Jisung’s cheeks, sometimes it might not look like a lot but when you really walk around the area, it’s like a whole new place you’ve never stepped foot in yet the air seemed the same, familiar even.
As soon as his parents told Chan he could head to his room to get some rest for his “big day” tomorrow. Chan trudged to his room, he wasn’t at his dorm because the school gave an early warning that he should move out slowly as the semester closes, so now he’s stuck in his childhood room with the glow in the dark stars still stuck to his roof, and his Cars 2 bedsheets. Even if he hasn’t been away from home in a long time, his mother finds his room like some Time Capsule and refuses to change it to his liking.
Chan wouldn’t say he didn’t miss this though, he’d be lying if he did. He could just remember 8-year-old him flopping on the same bed right after doing his math homework and falling asleep almost immediately. Chan bets the sheets would smell like his childhood, something like apricots and autumn leaves, or was it lavender? Chan never appreciated that smell from his blanket that would put him to sleep almost immediately, maybe that’s why he hasn’t been getting much sleep?
As Chan closed the door behind him, he spotted a clean pack of pad paper and his funny-looking transformers and star wars pens in his pen holder. Cereal packs these days don’t give anything, Chan wonders if kids these days experience the meaning of enjoying your childhood if you didn’t collect pens from cereal packs of your favorite show.
He sat down and switched on his lamp, the light flickered now and then and the light it gave off was weak, and .. it was about to go out, maybe but Chan could care less, this was pretty bright for him, he could work his way through this. He reached over and grabbed an R2D2 pen, the pen charm had the head of R2D2 hanging off a slightly rusted chain from the top of the pen. Chan clicked the pen a few times before testing it out on a corner of the pad paper on his desk.
Surprisingly it still works, like brand new actually. This was Chan’s cue to start writing, he decided, this was one story to tell you, next, he wanted to say his final thoughts and finally reveal who he was. Even if he planned to keep this to himself, at least he could finally sign the letters with his name, admitting that all those letters were in fact, his thoughts and his emotions.
“Here goes..” Chan muttered.
~
‘Breathe in, breathe out.’ Chan tried to pat down his graduation (gown?) outfit and adjust his hat. He frantically wiped his hands on his jeans under his regalia, his hands were much sweatier than usual, not like they were always wet but he figured it was the nerves he was developing or is it excitement? I mean it’s not every day you finally get to receive your diploma and finally experience the taste of adulthood.
Looking at the mirror in his old room was.. nostalgic? He has slightly longer hair as compared to before and he swore he’s grown an inch or two since he last stood in front of the mirror. A small smile found its way onto Chan’s face as he finally saw, with his own two eyes, that not only did he grow physically but maybe he did mature over time, and now’s the result of all his hard work and of all the unnecessary pain he’s been through.
“Dear? Are you ready? You’ll be late!” Chan hurried to the muffled sound of his mother. Shoving a bunch of materials and some notebooks, he didn’t think about what he shoved into his bag, he took as much as he thought he’d need from his desk top.
His bag seemed heavy but Chan figured he can sort this out later, he can’t fix time if he was late for his graduation.
“Coming!”
~
Chan heard all kinds of boisterous noises screaming, cheering, strained laughs and sniffles. He’s taken at least 2 naps in total and he’s seen his parents and younger siblings in one of the seats behind him. It had been a good 3 hours? His behind was getting numb and his brain was empty and all he saw was nothing but gray as he clapped aimlessly every time he heard a name being called to the stage.
He doesn’t mean to be rude at all but he’s been half asleep half the time and he doesn’t even know half the students being cheered for, they were all people he’s seen but never cared to get to know or just didn’t seem like they were interested in being friends with someone like him. He never liked to talk to a lot of people so he didn’t have a problem with that.
Graduation seemed slow at first, Chan was seated beside people he barely knows of and strangers and parents of said strangers were all around him, occasionally he’d be woken up from his doze by the loud shrieks of this girl in front of him or the low obnoxious cheers from the varsity player beside him. But luckily after a while, the names started to deplete, and soon after he would get called on stage and his friends too, he heard your name but the people in front of him stood on their tippy toes and screamed at the top of their lungs.
Graduation was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience, a milestone, an honor that you wear around your neck. Now that everyone was flooding out the auditorium, chatters among students with things along the lines of “I can’t believe it! We’re out of this place for good!” And “Can you believe it? We’re graduates!”
And if Chan was, to be honest, he felt the same way. It's unbelievable that college just ended like that, all those years blown away in one big gust of wind, Chan could hardly recall the days he’d complain to his friends about how he would consider dropping out if a certain teacher didn’t lift the workload. (As a joke of course)
As Chan caught up with friends he forgot about “sorting” his bag out from earlier and he was pretty carried away with the jokes and diploma-shoving banter from his friends and some acquaintances from different classes. He could almost smell the tinge of sweet autumn breeze in the air, like a reward after all the grueling years of college.
He felt the slight odd-one-out item in his bag as he gripped it before slinging it over his shoulder. As Chan walked out of the auditorium he could smell a familiar scent and an “aftertaste” of a certain drink. Caramel Macchiato.
Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him, or a hit of nostalgia, or just a familiar feeling he missed resurfaced. He held onto his bag as he ran up to his friends waiting at the side of the auditorium to tell them he had to catch up with someone before he could miss them.
Chan ran back to the auditorium, looking all around him for a sign of you but all he saw were teachers and some staff members cleaning up the mess as well as some students who were just chatting with friends, but none of them resembled a certain Y/N.
He ran outside and went to gardens and sanctuaries students usually stayed to hangout. At this point he was losing hope, it was getting dark and each minute that passed was a moment he hoped he could catch up to you, he hoped you’d still miraculously, still be there waiting or that he could somehow catch up to you.
As the day was coming to a dark, vibrant orange, and the sun was slowly setting with each tick of his watch. Chan, with all hope lost, trudged to the front gate of the school, he tried, that’s one story for his very final letter maybe.
He thought about all the places he wanted to check, he wished he could be everywhere all at the same time in case you decided to go to a certain place, he wouldn't have missed you if it were that way.
He dragged his feet, kicking pebbles along the way and fallen pine cones in his way. Chan heard chatter from a distance and he just prayed it was his friends waiting for him, he wanted to take his mind away from you, or from this whole thing, he should be celebrating after all!
Chan couldn’t look up for some reason, scared it could be you or your friends, he wasn’t really prepared for a moment like that you know?
“Chan? Where have you been?”
What?
That doesn’t sound like Jisung at all. Chan looked up to find a certain caramel macchiato enjoyer. You.
Chan’s mouth was slightly left agape, what’s with his luck? He wouldn’t count this as luck but neither did he think this was something unfortunate. He gulped as he held onto his backpack strap, why did you ask where he’s been? Have you been looking for him?
“Hey..?” Chan answered meekly.
“Hi.. uh..” You laughed nervously as you looked at your friends and waved them off for a bit before turning back to Chan.
“Can we talk?”
“Can we talk?”
You two asked in unison, both with a similar tone in your voices, it wasn’t something like after an unresolved break up or with misunderstood feelings, more like a needed congratulations.
And an awaited goodbye.
“Uh, my bad you can go first.” Chan offered.
“You should go first.” You insisted.
Chan coughed awkwardly into his fist, averting his gaze to the side before pursing his lips. This was it, this was it, this was it. Chan encouraged himself as he unzipped his bag to get the box out of his bag.
As he handed it to you with his eyes looking off to the tree behind you.
“I wouldn’t say this is a graduation gift to you per se, but it’s something I meant to give to you for-.. awhile? I guess you could say that.”
You took the box into your hands as you furrowed your brows, but offered a small smile to him. Chan finally glanced back at your expression. He was worried you’d be sort of negative about this but to his surprise, your smile was something that resembled an overly sweetened caramel macchiato. Sweet, too sweet on that note, but enjoyable, stereotypical, an everyday thing but you could tell the barista made it with a whole lot of love and effort, in short, it was genuine and Chan longed to see that from you after a long while.
“Don’t open it!” Chan outstretched his hand as you slightly lifted the box’s lid off.
“Open it at least a week later, or-.. well when you start to miss college, yeaH! TILL YOU MISS COLLEGE! Or -.. better a week later..!” Chan rushed as he tried to push back the cover.
You chuckled at his antics just as you nodded at his request(?). You tucked the box’s lid back on properly, easing Chan’s nerves.
After a long comfortable silence and a few awkward giggles and chuckles here and then, Chan started to bring back the topic, “A-anyway.. your turn…”
“Ah right.. my bad… uhm” Now you were afraid to look at him.
“I wanted to congratulate you, we had a good score for our project, and your delivery was great. Sorry, I couldn’t have… congratulated you earlier, I- I wanted to for a while actually ! But I figured you were too busy juggling with the finals and with your swim practices..” You hugged the small bouquet of flowers in your arms.
You grinned sheepishly and laughed awkwardly to ease the tension you felt, Chan offered the same laugh before answering.
“Oh no no it’s no problem, I haven’t been able to congratulate you earlier either! So it’s no worries! Really.” Chan waved you off as he averted his gaze to look at his shoes.
“Well uhm.. this is for you by the way.” You smiled sheepishly as your voice grew small while extending the bouquet of flowers to him, the plastic’s soft crinkles seemed to fill a void of silence that you two couldn’t fill. Chan doubted either of you were bothered though, in fact it reminded him of the autumn leaves.
Chan’s eyes grew in astonishment as he was faced with a dozen roses, from the looks of it, it was just freshly picked as well. He hesitantly glanced at you, asking if this was really for him before reluctantly accepting the bouquet of roses into his own arms.
“Oh.. thank you..?” He turned from admiring the roses to thanking you with a slight confused tone, you chuckled softly. “Sorry, I’ve never gotten flowers, it’s usually just me giving them to my mom.”
“You can give these flowers to your mom as well.” You shrugged playfully as you watch Chan erupt into laughter.
“I mean, people can give others flowers right? Plus it’s graduation day, isn’t it tradition?” You offered him a smile, Chan couldn’t understand what was behind it, to be fair, he couldn’t even understand if the smile he was giving was because he was happy he got his first ever bouquet of flowers or the fact that you thought about giving it to him.
Chan exhaled, as if he were holding his breath but he was able to feel a wave of relief as he inhaled the fresh autumn air. “It is tradition but you rarely see it happen these days.”
“At least you got to see it for yourself right? Doesn’t it make it extra special?” Your smile never faded but your eyes softened at the sight of Chan, you missed this.
“It does.” Chan held the flowers close to his chest as his smile grew, the sides of his eyes crinkled slightly.
After a while of silence, the two of you laughed off the awkwardness before nodding in acknowledgment that you both are here, at this moment, you two can finally say goodbye..? It felt short-lived but this was all that Chan has been wishing for since his first letter.
“I should probably get going now.. It’s getting late and.. your friends are probably waiting for you.” Chan gestured to your friends chatting behind you, before offering you a reassuring smile. It’s time to go home, or well to go with your respective friend groups.
“Oh right.. Yeah.. I should probably get going as well.” You glanced back at your friends and chuckled softly.
“… I guess I’ll see you then?” You held onto the box Chan gifted you and you felt your fingers squeezing it, realizing the smooth, soft, feather-like texture of the box, something similar to a stationary box.
“Yeah.. Until then I guess.” Chan unconsciously gave the bouquet in his arms a squeeze, it was already impossibly close to his chest but he hugged it closer, finding uncut thorns that poked at the thick plastic wrapping and colored paper outer wrapping.
You two waved to each other as you both giggled to yourselves, you were relieved that even with the gap between you two before, something’s don’t really change. You hoped and wished maybe you had more time to say goodbye, but you can’t keep him here forever.
~
Slamming the door shut as you sighed harshly, flopping onto your bed, face planting into your pillow. Turning your head to the side just to sigh again, it was a small disagreement with your parents and it ended in you storming to your room and planning to keep to yourself until the whole thing blows over.
Closing your eyes, you squeezed them shut, your head was starting to have a slight pounding sensation at the back. Just your luck.
As you opened your eyes, you noticed a familiar box on your desk, you never noticed, and maybe it’s because the baby blue shade that was confused with white, was blending with the polka dots. You sat up on your bed, ignoring the slight headache from falling into bed.
Reaching over to grab the box from your desk, you realized there was a small tag stuck on the box, it had a small “Chan’s things :)” in a carefree, child-like handwriting, you smiled at the endearing sight, everyday it’s like you could still see bits and pieces of him.
Opening the lid your eyebrows raised in shock? Amusement? Maybe in the middle of both. Multiple letters (you assumed) were in airmail envelopes with stamps that were considered valuable were on corners of each one.
Picking the first one in the pile to inspect it, you realized that each envelope had the familiar handwriting of Chan, it wasn’t neat nor was it messy, but you found it something like a characteristic of his. With each letter that you picked up, more emerged from the bottom of the pile, you wondered how Chan was able to fit hundreds- maybe even thousands of these letters.
You put the pile in your hands back into the box before plucking a letter randomly, opening it, and finding an evenly folded paper inside and with the letter being addressed to you. You were seeing the date of each letter being from a year or two ago. Subconsciously picking another random letter up into your free hand as you read. This process continued until half the pile in the box was transferred to another pile of opened envelopes beside you.
As you finished another letter, you carefully folded it back to how it was and inserted it back into its envelope before stacking it on top of the other letters you finished. Opening a new one, and you realized it had a second page, you noticed the dim lighting from your window and realized it was late. And that you’ve spent your remaining afternoon reading letters.
This letter didn’t have a date. You figured it could be a really recent letter or a letter Chan forgot to mark.
Dear Y/N,
On this day is my little cousin’s birthday, and it’s just a day away from our graduation ceremony. I went to his birthday party and when I entered the first thing he called me was, crispy. For obvious reasons, I do hope that I don’t give off that vibe.. or get-up, and I do hope you won’t call me crispy either, Chan or Chris, that’s it, not crispy. Weirdly enough his parents and MY parents egged my little cousin on and they started to call me uncle crispy. Anyway, tomorrow is our graduation day. I have my letters in a box, only recently did I get a box for them, and you know what? I tried to count them but I sort of lost count, so I’m stuck with thinking I wrote 87 letters..? But I don’t recall writing that much though, hopefully, it isn't, I don’t want you reading 87 letters of just me talking about how much I hate mathematics class. I also forgot to ask how was your day? I hope it’s going well. I believe this will be my last and final letter to you, I doubt I’ll have time to write another one tomorrow, not with my nerves for the graduation ceremony. I’m still unsure if I want to give this box of letters that are sitting on my desk right now. If I do, and you will see this letter, I hope you won’t be creeped out or- anything.. I mean well with the letters.
Since this is my last letter to you, it might be one long one. It’s just for goodbyes, you know? I’m going to be moving out of the dorms soon. I've done some packing early in the week so I’ll be out of here faster than I estimated, which is why I concluded that this might be my last letter. I’m not sure if I’ll stay in the neighborhood either. I have plans, I guess you can say, and it involves me moving out of the country or off to another city. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart I want to stay here so in turn that if you wanted to say something to me before I go, I’d hear it. But from the pit in my stomach, I don’t think you would even stop to think about these. Throw these letters out as soon as you read them though, I really don’t see why you would keep them in the first place and I want you to promise that you will, I’ll only sleep better if I know you will.
Below this paragraph is the things I’ll finally say and mention to you, after a long while of not being able to admit these things to you, no they are not problems, or complaints, neither is it obsessions and addictions, just my feelings, not necessarily feelings as in romantic feelings, but feelings as in the things I thought and felt when we were friends, and/or when we had the chance to hang out. If you don’t want to read beyond this, feel free to just throw it out.
Do you remember when you made your first friend? I can’t really remember the feeling, but I remember the memory, but what’s a memory without feelings? A black and white picture maybe. To be fair I have made a lot of friends, in my whole life, I don’t recall meeting more than 20 people a year so.. being “friends” with a people’s person did get into my head for a while. You’re admirable as a person, I’m sure people around you have made that clear, but I think when I met you, half of me or probably more, was happy to meet someone who didn’t seem too intimidating. Maybe you were intimidating at first to me, considering your status but after sometime you seemed like the warmest, kindest being I’ve encountered. I may not know what it’s like to be in your place everyday and I may not know what you see in your eyes everyday, but from what I know, you’re going through so much, and yet you have so much compassion and kindness despite it all. That’s admirable.
Maybe I am wrong and maybe I’m just overthinking but I feel that there were some things left unsaid, and some unexpected outcomes in our friendship and I understand you need space, and you’d rather save yourself the trouble, which is why I’m writing these letters to you, in hope that when you’re ready to talk to me, and that I’ll be too late to reply, at least I’ll have some answers for you. I’ll admit, if I knew my timing, if I knew how to approach you, and if I knew how to resolve things that are left undone, maybe I would have reached out to you sooner, but sadly, I don’t, and I could barely tell time on regular days, either I’m too sleepy to care or it’s usually around dinner time by the time I get out of the building, whether it be from the dorms or from school and I don’t have the guts to even talk around new people or well.. talking to people was never really my forte, to begin with, and I’ve always hated solving math word problems, so I’m sure you could tell why I didn’t approach you sooner and I’m sure you know that I’m actually not so special, I’m a little below average actually. I’m the definition of a quiet kid that, maybe only 3 people in the whole batch knows about me, even if I wore sweatshirts and vests instead of hoodies or khaki pants instead of joggers and even if I walked around wearing clothes like that, no one would care who I was because I wasn’t going to be special or I wasn’t sticking out like a sore thumb. (Not that you are one though)
But you, on the other hand, you’re like the definition of a successful, “someone-whose-future-is-bright”, “they’re-going-places” type of student. And sometimes they forget that putting you so high on a pedestal… makes you so isolated from everyone else. I must admit, I looked at you the same way, like some otherworldly- being. Which I’m sure you didn’t know..? Or pretended to not know maybe. But after hanging out with you for a while, after you told me what you said to me that day? I realized you’re just a person, who has dreams and passions, and fears and flaws. I realized you’re just trying to fit in what others say you are because you felt like if you didn’t, you aren't Y/N anymore. I admire that you still strive to be the best. That’s something a normal person can’t do. That’s something I can’t do. This must be the other reason why I looked at you like some “otherworldly being”.
Oh gosh, that was a whole word dump. I apologize, really, it’s just what I realized and I wish I knew that early on, and I wished that I knew how to tell you that it was okay to let your guard down. And that if you need help, I’ll always be willing to lend a helping hand.. and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you that earlier on. I also want to apologize for that day, my answers weren’t really well thought of and maybe I didn’t consider what you could have felt either and I’m sorry, I know I could have done better and maybe I wouldn't be holed up in my room on the night before we graduate, writing this letter to you. You know what? It’s funny, people would call this and my other letters “love letters” even though I doubt the rest had anything to do with me claiming I loved you or anything. I’m only using this method as an actual way to communicate, you know, like how letters were actually used before. But to say that this last one is not a love letter, might be a lie. Love letter as in me telling you these things because I care about you, be it platonically, romantically, I wouldn't know, I’ve never felt anything like this before and I doubt it’s what they call love. They say it's something like being close to the sun or on cloud 9 or talking to the moon or something, hell, what does it mean to be on “cloud 9”? Wouldn't it hurt to be close to the sun? Why would someone talk to the moon so eagerly when you’re “in love”? I talk to the moon about my science homework, would it mean I love science? Do you get what I mean? This isn’t a letter about me being in love with you romantically, it’s more like a letter of admiration? Of care maybe. A care letter(?). But if these were symptoms or bits and pieces of love, in the romantic sense. I wouldn’t know, because I guess love will come differently to everyone else. But right now, when I think of you, my lungs are alright, my heart isn’t beating abnormally and my hands aren't shaking. In the time that I can confirm this is romantic love towards you, I guess I’ll write another letter to admit that to you. I learned in my time of writing to you that having unsaid thoughts and “feelings” have a choking effect on you. If anything, I’m telling you this because half of me confides in the fact that we might never meet again, and the fact that I know I’d rather not force these thoughts and feelings down my throat. I’ll admit to you that, even if we spent maybe a week? Or half a month? Hanging out with you and thinking back on it makes me feel like we spent ages growing up together and yet I can’t even recall your favorite color. Am I just forgetting that important detail or did I never ask? Maybe you would’ve gotten awkward if I asked that before, don’t people on dates usually ask that? I hate to say that this is most likely our last conversation. And you know what? I feel like I spent a good amount of time completing my bucket list in college. I made a new friend, “fell in love” I guess, and got through the 4 years with memories. Thank you for being part of my 4 years here, it was a blast. Might be the most I’ve done in my whole life, and.. one thing I have to admit before I end the letter.
I lied. I actually dislike americanos, I mean I don’t hate it, and I do drink it, but bitter isn’t usually the option I’d go for, the reason why I stuck with it was because you ordered it for me and in time.. I didn’t really mind the bitterness anymore, I guess I was distracted talking to you. I also disliked science projects, mainly because it’s never my forte and because I was never grouped up with someone who tried to cooperate with me. That day in the cafe where we first met? I didn’t actually think about anything, I was just- scared, no I wasn’t scared of you or anything, I was scared of what others will think when they look at me with you. I still do, and I think about it a lot whenever I write a letter to you. The rest are completely true though, I hated literature classes, I never liked math and I had a small hobby for swimming and I had my cousin’s birthday party today, and that I have 2 other friends. But the truest thing about me, in my letters? Is that I “loved” you, platonically or romantically, I can’t tell, it’s just as I said before, I have never been in love with someone romantically, maybe platonically but I don’t really know that feeling either. Maybe it’s unconfirmed but the fact that I dislike americanos but in turn ended up liking it, is true, because like I said before, I like coffee. And I’ll never really know if that’s true for me, maybe liking americano will or is just a phase because of your influence (?) but I never really lied to you have I? I like science, it’s just the projects I hate, I was thinking of some things on the day when we met. I was thinking about what others would think about me sitting in the cafe with you. So.. the fact that I can admit that I “loved” you, isn’t that technically true as well? This is exactly how my thoughts are right now in my head as I write, confusing but, it’s not everyday I can put my thoughts into words like this.
I’m going to end the letter like this, I think I’ve said everything that’s been burdening my heart, I think this is all that I can say. I may be someone normal and maybe I’m someone you probably have forgotten about a long time ago, but I’ll always remember you as someone I was probably romantically and/or platonically in “love” with. As we are parting ways, you don’t need to say anything regarding this because maybe I’ve already left but because I’m afraid of what you’ll say to begin with. If you feel the same way(?) you don’t have to admit anything to me, just accept the fact that I had the odd opportunity and sudden courage to tell you this. But believe that this, and the rest of my letters, were written with my whole heart and with good intentions and with the purest emotion and thoughts a human being can put into words.
Goodbye Y/N, I hope you read this a week later as you promised. (And that you will throw this out like I told you to do)
And I hope to see you soon in the future.
Sincerely yours,
Chris.
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voiceless-terror · 3 years ago
Note
I am so completely enamored with Danny as jons ex and I would be forever in your debt if you finished that
i wasn't expecting people to like this idea so much, its definitely one of my weirder ones xD since im not sure when i'll get around to actually finishing it (if ever) you can have a very rough chunk of it instead. you'll have to forgive any mistakes, im not up to editing it.
In a surprising show of athleticism, Jon ducks under Sasha’s chair before the specter of his past manages to see him.
Sasha swears at the action, backing up in her chair and peering down at Jon in bafflement. “What on Earth are you doing, Jon?”
Instead of answering her question, he backs up even further, tucking his feet out of sight. He thinks Sasha’s umbrella must be under here, and judging from the sharp point currently jabbing at his thigh, he probably broke it. “Is he still there?” he hisses, tilting his head to avoid bashing it into the desk.
“Who?”
“That- that man!”
A pause. “Tall, dark and handsome?”
Jon’s turn to pause. “I suppose you might call him that,” he replies stiffly. And it’s true. The man, from Jon’s brief, panicked glimpses, is at least six foot, with thick, dark hair and a bright grin.
And he looks exactly like Jon’s ex, Danny Stoker.
He’d done an almost comical double-take after a cursory glance; at first he’d thought Danny was the new hire, but this man was more angular, like a sharper, leaner version of his ex. So no, it couldn’t be him.
That didn’t stop him from diving under the nearest object, ergo Sasha’s desk. Not the wisest of decisions, considering his throbbing side, but he’s never been known for grace under pressure.
He’s not exactly sure why this fight or flight mode’s been activated- he and Danny had parted on fairly good terms, each recognizing that although they cared about the other, they simply weren’t compatible in the long term. They’d dated for a little over six months when Jon was a freshman, and he’d fallen hard.
Danny had been his first real relationship, and Jon was shocked that someone like him even looked his way. Impossibly handsome, incredibly fit, desired and envied in equal measure, and he dated scrawny, shy, insecure Jonathan Sims; the rumor mill went wild. They’d met at a party, and not even a good one. In a brief moment of liquid courage, Jon managed to insert himself into a group and fit in one snarky joke that sent Danny into stitches, the rest of the partygoers following his lead. For one second, Jon felt like he truly fit in, like he was someone worth knowing.
Danny had a way of making someone feel special. Big, romantic gestures, surprising him after class, taking him on little expeditions beyond campus. Jon didn’t drive, still doesn’t, and Danny wanted to show him the world outside of their privileged little campus.
But, like all of Jon’s relationships, it came to an end. Jon wasn’t ready for such overwhelming affection (didn’t think he deserved it, quite frankly), and Danny needed someone who could handle his fast-paced lifestyle. Jon was not that man. They broke up amicably, even if Jon shed a few tears in private, saw each other on campus a few times. Danny tried to reach out more than once, just as friends, but Jon’s never been able to handle more than one relationship at a time, and by then he’d met Georgie.
But now it seems the past is unavoidable, and standing near the circulation desk. Well, now walking in his direction, if the steady footsteps were any indication. Jon’s heart begins to hammer in his chest as it hits him that he is, in fact, hiding under a desk because a man who sort of looks like his ex is in his general vicinity. Coward.
“‘Lo!” God, even the voice is similar, if not as deep. “Tim Stoker. Reporting for duty.”
Stoker. Tim Stoker. Jon startles, slamming his head against the desk with a yelp.
Somewhere in his spiraling thoughts and throbbing head he remembers- Danny had a brother. An older brother that he adored. This must be the famous Tim- Danny made him out to be a saint, and though Jon never met him, he felt some fondness via Danny’s descriptions. But Tim’s going to have no fondness for him, especially considering Jon’s current position, hiding in pain under his coworkers desk.
“Pleased to meet you!” Sasha chirps, very clearly amused by the situation. “I’m Sasha James. And this-” she tugs at one of Jon’s legs, dragging him a few inches into sight. Jon buries his head in his hands and wishes he were invisible. “-is Jonathan Sims. We’ll be training you.”
“Excellent.” Tim’s voice holds the same good humor Danny’s always did, and sends a pang of nostalgia through his chest. “Er, you alright down there?”
“Yes,” Jon responds robotically, scrambling to his feet and standing behind Sasha’s chair, unwilling to meet the man’s eyes, lest he be drawn in. “I- uh, lost a pen. P-Probably left it in the copy room, I’ll just be going...there.” With that incredible performance, he fled.
And only tripped once on the way out.
________
So Jon’s kind of cute.
Tim doesn’t normally go for tiny disgruntled academics, but Jonathan Sims is an interesting fellow. He’s got a reputation for being the ‘problem child’ of the Research Department, awkward and prickly and always available with a snide word. He wields his books and files like a little suit of armor, and the only person he’s seen him open up to is Sasha. Besides their little conversations, Jon is all work and no play.
Except with Tim.
Sasha says she’s never seen anything like it, with one of her secret little smiles. Jon’s always staring. Usually, the man can’t hold eye contact to save his life, but he’ll spend full minutes looking at Tim when he thinks he can’t see. The first few times, Tim would turn around and smile, but that practically sent the man into convulsions, dropping his papers and jumping out of sight like a spooked cat. It was funny the first few times, but Tim pitied him enough to ignore it now. He hopes Jon enjoys the view.
God forbid he ask the guy a question. Jon will look around the room, as if waiting for someone else to answer, when it’s clearly directed at him. He’ll blush and stammer his way through every explanation, keeping a wide berth of at least two feet between them. Even when Tim wants him to look at his screen, he’ll squint from far away. Tim starting to think he smells bad, or has some sort of communicable disease unbeknownst to him.
“It’s not that,” Sasha assures him, again with that unreadable smile. “Trust me.”
Time to try something else.
He prints out his latest follow up, a rather elaborate statement regarding mistaken identities and absolutely nothing supernatural. He knows Jon prefers to look at things on paper, as screens ‘trigger his migraines’ if Tim understood his mumbles. Maybe if he can engage with him on familiar territory for the both of them, he’ll be able to hold a conversation. Tim specifically requested his help on this one.
“If you could just look it over, make sure everything’s up to snuff, that’d be great,” Tim says to the top of Jon’s head, as the man refuses to lift his own to meet his gaze. “You know how Dr. Walker is. Always-”
“Finding mistakes where there are none? I’m familiar with her methods,” Jon snorts, and Tim feels like he’s getting somewhere. A whole sentence! With classic Jonathan Sims snark! “I-I can give it a look. I’m rather busy, but -”
“Take your time,” Tim says with a dismissive wave of the hand. “I finished a bit early, so I don’t need it for a few days yet. Don’t want to put you out.”
“You’re not.” Jon meets his eyes for about ten seconds before ducking his head back down.
Progress!
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a-simple-gaywitch · 4 years ago
Text
Ohana
Spencer Reid x Reader
Summary: Spencer’s in love with his new neighbor- and her son that’s just like him
Word Count: 3234
Warnings: Typical CM stuff (Amplification specifically), Single Parent!Reader, slight angst
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“Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.” -Lilo and Stitch
~
Spencer remembered the day you moved in. He remembered you lugging boxes up five flights of stairs by yourself. When he saw you struggling with a heavy box, trying to find your key, he decided to be bold and help. 
“You look like you could use some assistance,” he said. “I’m, uh, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, I live right across the hall.”
“Dr. (Y/N) (L/N),” you said.
“Here, let me hold the box for you.”
“Careful, it’s heavy,” you said, shifting it into his arms. 
Spencer was jostled for a moment from the weight of the box, which was labeled (Y/N)’s Books. “So, MD or PhD?” he asked you as you searched for the right key. 
“PhD, I’m too squeamish to be in the medical field,” you said with a laugh. It was the most beautiful sound Spencer had ever heard. “What about you?”
“What? Oh,” Spencer shook his head, focusing back on the conversation. “PhDs.”
You stopped sorting through your keys and turned to face Spencer. “Plural? Holy shit, are you a genius or something?”
Spencer let out a small laugh before saying, “Yeah, technically. But I don’t think intelligence can be accurately quantified.”
You finally found the right key and sighed as you heard the lock click. “Um, you can set the box with the others by the bookshelf.”
Spencer turned to see a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, much like his own, with boxes upon boxes of books in front of it. Some were labeled Academics, some had the same label as the one he was currently holding, and some had Oliver’s Books scrawled across the top.
“So, uh, where are you moving from?” he asked you, following the maze of boxes to your kitchen.
You offered him a bottle of water. “Erie, Pennsylvania. I got a job at Georgetown as an Associate Professor in the history department.”
“Oh, I guest lecture there every once in a while. In the criminology department. Uh, what’s your concentration?” Spencer took a sip from the water bottle. 
“Medieval and Renaissance history,” you said. “I get to teach fun classes like Medieval Weaponry and Warfare.”
“Well, maybe I can sit in on that class someday.”
You smiled at him and that was when Spencer knew, you’d worked your way into his heart and you were never leaving.
~
Spencer remembered the first time he met Oliver. It was 53 hours, 27 minutes, and 15 seconds since the day he met you. He was coming home from an exhausting case when he saw you trying to balance paper shopping bags in your arms while opening your door. A small boy, no older than 6, stood behind you with oversized headphones and a mobile gaming system. He had a huge backpack on his shoulders.
“Ollie, take the keys. Ollie. Oliver.”
“You need some help?” Spencer asked, setting his go-bag in front of his door.
“Spencer, hi! Um, some help would be great.” Spencer took the bags from your arms so you could open the door. “Oh, uh, this is Oliver, my son.”
“Your-your son?” Spencer asked. If you had a son, it was likely you had a partner. 
“Yep, he’s my boy.” You tapped his shoulder and gestured for him to say hi. The boy gave a small wave before going back to his game.
Spencer cleared his throat. “So, uh, where’s-where’s his father?”
“California. At least, that’s where he went when he left us.” Your hand was resting on top of your son’s head. He looked just like you. “Here, can you just set the bags on the counter?” you asked after opening the door. Oliver started down the hallway when you grabbed the loop of his backpack. “Not so fast. You know the rules. Homework first, then you can play your game again.”
Oliver groaned and handed you his game. You set it on the counter next to the bags of groceries. 
“So, you’re raising him alone?” Spencer asked you. 
You nodded and started unpacking the bags. “Yeah. You know, it’s been hard, but I can’t imagine life without my Ollie. He’s my heart and soul.”
~
Spencer and you became friends quite quickly. He told you about his job as a profiler, and you told him about working at the university. He would come over after cases and watch movies with you and Oliver. He’d help you put groceries away and he’d help you with simple tasks. 
He also picked up on Oliver’s eccentricities. He reminded Spencer of his younger self. He didn’t talk much about kids at school and he breezed through schoolwork. His interests seemed heightened beyond what could be considered normal for a kid his age. One day, Spencer decided to ask about it as inconspicuously as he could. 
The two of you were playing a game of chess when he brought it up.
“So, Oliver seems to be doing pretty well in school. What grade did you say he was in, second?”
“Yeah, the school bumped him up a grade. They wanted me to move him up to fourth, but I know how important it is to have friends your own age. And he already struggles to make friends.”
“He does? Why?”
You sighed, moving your knight. “Check. He was diagnosed as autistic when he was three. He doesn’t quite get social cues so it’s hard for him.”
Spencer moved his bishop and took your knight. “I’m sure his dad leaving didn’t help.”
“Well, he, uh, he never actually met his dad. Leo left me when I was four months pregnant.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
You waved him off. “It’s fine. It was almost seven years ago. I moved on, and I learned to balance motherhood with college. I completed my undergrad when he was only a few months old and I worked on graduate school when he was a high-energy toddler. It just proved to me that I can do anything. Checkmate.”
~
Spencer was enjoying a rare day off on a Tuesday when his phone started ringing. He groaned, thinking it was Hotch with an urgent case. But when he saw your name on the caller ID, his face lit up. 
“(Y/N), hey!” he said. “What’s going on?”
“Ollie’s school just called me. He’s sick but I have classes and meetings all day so I can’t go get him and-”
“Are you asking if I can go get him?” Spencer said, cutting off your rambling.
“Yes! Could you, please? I’d be so so grateful.”
Spencer smiled, grabbing the spare key you gave him. “Of course.”
“Oh, thank you so much. There’s a spare car seat in the coat closet. I’ll call the school and let them know you’ll be picking him up. Thank you so much, Spencer.”
When Spencer got to the school, he was fidgety. He’d never spent time alone with your son before. And he wasn’t even sure if the kid liked him. 
He walked into the front office and said, “Hi, my name is Spencer Reid, I’m here to pick up Oliver (L/N)?”
“Oh, (Y/N) said you were coming to get him. If I could just see your ID?” the receptionist asked. Spencer nodded and pulled out his driver’s license. “Great, if you could just sign Oliver out on the clipboard here, you’ll be good to go.”
Spencer scribbled his signature on the clipboard and the receptionist got up to get Oliver from the back office. Oliver followed the receptionist, his backpack on his shoulders and a paper bag clutched in his hands. His face was pale and he was swaying slightly. 
“Hey, Ollie,” Spencer said.
“Hi, Spencer. Where’s my mom?”
“She got stuck at work, buddy. You’re gonna stay with me until she comes home, okay?”
Oliver nodded. “Okay.” He followed Spencer out of the school and climbed in the back of his car.
“Do you want me to put the window down?” Spencer offered, looking back at the boy in the mirror. When Oliver nodded, Spencer put his window down and pulled out of the parking lot.
After pulling into the parking garage, Spencer looked in the mirror again. Oliver was fast asleep, his head slumped against the door. Rather than waking the boy, Spencer unbuckled him and scooped him up in his arms. 
Oliver wrapped his little, sweaty arms around Spencer’s neck as he was carried inside. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was how much he cared for the boy, but Spencer pressed a small kiss to the side of his head. Spencer dug your spare key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, setting Ollie down on the couch.
After covering him with a blanket, Spencer dug around in your kitchen for some ginger ale and crackers. After setting them on the coffee table, he heard a small voice say, “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Spencer noticed Oliver watching him from the couch. He sat on the edge of the coffee table, handing Oliver the soda with a red bendy straw. “What do you mean, bud?”
“I know you like-like my mom. But you’re nice to me even when she’s not here. Matt didn’t do that. He called me names when Mom wasn’t around. He said I was weird.”
Spencer knew Matt was your ex from your time working at the Erie campus of Penn State. He was the first person you’d been with since Oliver’s father. And hearing how he treated Oliver didn’t sit right with Spencer.
Spencer sighed and looked at Oliver. “I’m nice to you because I like you, too. And I was a lot like you when I was your age.”
“You were?” Oliver handed the cup back to Spencer to set back on the table.
Spencer nodded. “People still think I’m weird. But being weird is good. How boring would the world be if everyone was normal?”
Oliver smiled. “It would be pretty boring,” he said.
“Get some rest, okay? It’ll help you feel better.”
You finally managed to sneak out of work and get home. When you opened the door, you saw Spencer sitting in the chair across from your sleeping son, reading a book. 
“Hey,” he said in a voice just above a whisper.
“Hey. How is he?”
“He has a low-grade fever and he hasn’t been able to keep anything in his stomach. I’ve been having him nibble on some crackers but even that doesn’t stay down.”
“Oh, my poor boy. Thank you for staying with him.”
“Of course. You know I’d do anything for you, for both of you.”
~
The team got back from a particularly rough case dealing with kids. Hotch gave them the weekend off to recuperate. 
“Anyone want to go grab a drink?” Derek offered to the group.
“Or five?” Emily added.
“What do you say, kid? You in?” Derek asked Spencer as the younger man packed up his bag. 
“Oh, no, sorry. I, uh, I have plans,” he said with a smile before slipping out of the office. The team watched him hurry out of the building before sharing glances with each other. 
“Spence has a girlfriend,” JJ realized. 
“Pretty boy has a girlfriend?”
“Think about it. When does Spencer ever have plans? And when was the last time he didn’t stay to do paperwork when we were given the time off?”
“And he upgraded his phone out of nowhere,” Emily chimed in. “He went from one that had only the bare essentials to a smartphone he texts on all the time.”
“We need to find out who this girl is,” Morgan decided. 
Spencer had been keeping you a secret from the team on purpose. Not because he was ashamed of you, or embarrassed, but because he knew the team saw him as the baby and they would be invasive if they ever found out. He didn’t want them to scare you away, he loved you too much to lose you. Though, he hadn’t said it out loud yet.
~
You and Spencer were walking down the street, Oliver asleep on Spencer’s back, snoring against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around Spencer’s neck.
“You have no idea how excited he is for you to see his science fair project,” you said. “It was all he could talk about all week.”
Spencer smiled and adjusted the boy on his back. “I think I’m just as excited to see his project, especially since he wouldn’t let me know anything about it.”
You reached the apartment complex and you dug your keys out of your bag. “Are you sure you can carry him up the stairs? I can wake him if you want me to.”
“No, it’s fine. I got him,” Spencer whispered, moving so that Oliver was clinging to his front rather than his back. He followed you up the stairs to your apartment. When you unlocked the door, he went straight to Oliver’s room and put the tired boy in his bed. He kissed Ollie’s forehead before flicking on his nightlight and leaving the room. 
“Oh, hey,” you said when Spencer came out of the room, “Is he still out?”
“Yeah. I think we might have put him in a coma.”
You laughed and kissed Spencer’s cheek. “Go get some sleep. I know you’re tired, too.”
“I’m not-”
“Spence, you nearly fell asleep at the movies tonight. Go.”
“Fine, fine, I’ll go. But not without a kiss goodnight.”
You gave Spencer a kiss before shooing him across the hall. When Spencer unlocked his door and flicked on the light, he saw his team sitting in his living room. 
“What the hell? What are you doing here? JJ, I gave you a key for emergencies!”
“This is an emergency!” Penelope said. “You have a girlfriend and you didn’t tell us!”
“Kid, please tell me she’s a single mother and you haven’t been keeping a family a secret from us for years,” said Morgan.
Spencer was still annoyed his friends broke into his apartment, but he couldn’t resist talking about you, especially when they’d already seen you. “Her name’s (Y/N), she moved in about a year ago with her son, Oliver. We’ve been dating for three months.”
“Spence, why didn’t you tell us?” JJ asked.
Spencer looked down at his shoes, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I didn’t want you scaring her off. I love her. I love both of them. And you guys can be intimidating.”
~
“Spencer’s coming to the science fair tonight, right?” Oliver asked you as you got him ready for school. 
“That’s what he said,” you told him. “And you know Spencer likes to keep his promises.”
“I can’t wait to show him my mold project!”
“Okay, kiddo, we have to go. We don’t want to be late, do we?”
Meanwhile, Spencer was in the conference room at work, worrying about the latest case they’ve been presented. Someone was releasing a new strain of anthrax in public places around the DC area.
But under his stress over the case, he was worrying about you and Ollie. Maybe that’s why he worked so much harder on this one. 
He and Morgan were sent to the suspect’s house, and Spencer entered first. Looking around, he noticed his mistake. When Morgan made his way to the door, he slammed and locked the door. 
“Reid, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry.”
Spencer was infected. He knew there was a large chance he would die, but he couldn’t stop working. He needed to find the antidote. HIs breathing was getting heavier and he felt sweat dripping down his face. He pulled out his phone and dialed. 
“Hey, Garcia?”
“Reid! Oh, my god, Derek told me what happened. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”
“That’s not important right now,” he said. “Um, can you- can you record a message for me? It’s for (Y/N) and Ollie.”
“Oh, uh, of course.” He heard her typing. “Okay. Go ahead.”
Spencer cleared the lump in his throat. “Uh, hi, (Y/N), it’s Spencer. Um, I-I wanted to let you know that, uh, I love you and…” he paused, taking a breath and blinking tears from his eyes, “and I’m so happy you let me into your life, into your family. And I want Ollie to know I love him, too. You- both of you- you’re my family.”
After that, things happened too fast. Spencer was being pulled out of the house and hosed down before being ushered to the waiting ambulance. He fell out of consciousness on the ride to the hospital. 
When he woke up in a hospital bed, Morgan was sitting by his side. 
“Are you eating Jell-O?” he asked, his voice cracking from being dry.
Morgan lit up with a smile. “Welcome back, kid.”
“Is there anymore Jell-O?”
Morgan chuckled. “You know, there’s some people here waiting for you.”
“What?”
Before Morgan could explain, you and Oliver burst into the room.
“Oh, my god, Spence!” You ran over and hugged him the best you could with the various medical equipment attached to him. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” you scolded. 
Oliver climbed onto the bed and curled up next to Spencer. “Yeah, don’t do that again,” he said. “How can I take you to Donuts with Dad if you’re dead?” He looked up at Spencer with his big doe-eyes and Spencer felt his heart break a little bit. 
“You-you want me to go to Donuts with Dad with you? Even though I missed your science fair?”
Ollie nodded. “I don’t care that you missed my science fair. I just care that you’re still here.” He looked up and Spencer and wrapped his arms around his torso. “I love you, Spencer.” He gave Spencer a light squeeze. 
Spencer smiled and ruffled his hair. “I love you too, Ollie.” He looked up at you. “And I love you, (Y/N).”
You smiled and gave Spencer a soft kiss. 
“Ewww!” Ollie squealed, making you both laugh. 
~
Spencer proposed to you about a year later. You’d both decided you didn’t want a huge wedding, just family and close friends. Rossi gave his backyard for you to use for the ceremony. It was simple and small, but it was special and wonderful. Spencer had flown Diana out, and you’d flown your parents out.
After the ceremony, Spencer announced that the both of you had a surprise for Ollie. He went inside Rossi’s house and returned with a manila envelope. He cleared his throat. “Ladies and gentlemen, in this envelope, I hold the most important document I have ever signed.” He opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. He cleared his throat. “This certificate certifies that Oliver B. (L/N) is the adopted child of Spencer W. Reid,” he read.
Oliver’s jaw dropped. “What? You’re- what?”
“Remember all those Saturdays Penelope watched you while Spencer and I went out? This is what we were doing,” you told him. 
Oliver ran over to you and Spencer and wrapped you in hugs. The rest of Spencer’s team and your parents joined in. In just two years, your family had gone from just you and your son to more people than you knew what to do with. And that was more than okay with you.
~
“They may not have my eyes, they may not have my smile, but they have all my heart.” -Anonymous
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randomshyperson · 4 years ago
Note
Hi!! Hope you're doing good and drinking water :) May i request something? 😁 I was listening to "the 1" by Taylor Swift (queen) and got me thinking about a Wanda X Reader story where maybe idk they dated in high school/college but ended cause whatever reason but they never actually stopped liking eachother (yknow, like the song) and then they just meet somewhere and get to talk and you know... happy ending lol But only if you like the idea really. Have a good one!
Hello anon! Here it is, hope you like it. It’s short but is sweet, i hope you like it.
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Wanda Maximoff x Reader - The One
Summary: Prompt based “A story where Reader and Wanda broke up and never stopped loving each other. Inspired by the song “The 1″ from Taylor Swift.
Words:  2.531k    ///// Read on AO3
Warnings: None.
Marks: @mionemymind @wandamaximoffpuppy
Wanda Maximoff came into your life during autumn.
You were both in the same art history class, and she lent you a pen.
All it took was two dates, and you were completely in love. Unfortunately, as quickly as it started, your relationship burned out.
You wish you had a big plot justification, with betrayals and twists and turns to justify to your friends your emotional misery when it ended, but the only reason was the complete emotional immaturity you had.
There were fights, and accusations, and so much jealousy. And you wish so much that you had gotten over it, but you couldn't. And then Wanda was gathering the clothes that she had in your dormitory, and throwing the key at you.
You swore you wouldn't cry anymore, because there were no more tears after so many weeks, but you kept going. Until all that was left was the bitter feeling that you had ruined everything and lost the most important person in your life.
It had been more than two years since you two had broken up, and you still had the number saved on your cell phone with a heart emoji, even though the conversation had been archived a long time ago. And then you were walking out of the main building at NYU, and your friend Natasha Romanoff called out to you as she walked quickly toward you.
- Hey, girl! - she said with a smile. - How are you?
You shrugged as you walked with her around the campus toward the secondary building, where the Philosophy classrooms were.
- I’m surviving. - You joke with a weak smile, Nat looked at you worriedly, but you shook your head, trying to reassure her. - And how are you doing? 
- Fine, I think. - She says, entwining your arms. - I miss you, but things are fine.
You nod, looking forward. You knew that you had been absent in your friends' lives, simply because it seemed that things no longer made much sense since you were no longer with Wanda.
- Did you hear about Bucky and Sam? - she asked, and you let out a sigh.
- Yes, I... I don't know if I'm going to make it.
- Ah, Y/N, please. - She says. - It won't be the same if you are not there.
Natasha was talking about your friends' engagement party, which you were invited to a week ago. You hesitated, because all of Bucky and Sam's friends were invited. And that included Wanda.
You let out a sigh.
- I will make an effort to be there, I promise. - You assure her with a smile. 
- You don't want to see Wanda, do you? - Nat asks. And you look at the ground. - Look, I just... I never really understood why you two broke up. But maybe it will be good to see her, you know. Maybe you two need to talk after all.
You shrug, feeling the familiar sadness take over your chest every time you think of Wanda. 
- Let's talk about something else okay? - You ask her with a weak smile and Natasha nods, changing the subject as you two walk along the campus.
//-//
You straightened your clothes before knocking on the door. It had been almost two weeks since you had spoken to Natasha, and the day of the party had finally arrived. You saw many cars parked outside the Barnes residence, and were not surprised when one of the family friends answered the door instead of the owners.
You smiled and greeted the gentleman, saying that you were a friend of the grooms, and he smiled back when he let you in. You overheard someone say that it was better to leave the door open because of the number of guests, and you let out a small laugh. 
The house was full, and it took a few minutes for you to find Bucky, who looked extremely happy. He smiled slightly surprised when he saw you.
- Hey, you're here! - he said, walking over to you. - It's so good to see you!
Bucky hugged you tight and you laughed lightly, saying that it was very good to see him too.
- How are things going? - you asked as you broke the embrace. - Are you feeling anxious?
Bucky laughed, putting his hands in his pockets.
- Everything is working well. My parents are helping me and Sammy to organize everything. - he says, smiling. - And damn, yes. I can't wait for the ceremony.
You laugh, nodding in understanding. You talk for a few more minutes until Sam comes to check on the groom.
- Wow, look at you Wilson! - You exclaim when you see him, and he opens his arms toward you, grinning contently. You hug each other tightly. - It's good to see you, my friend.
- Yeah, it's great to see you too, stranger. - He smiles back, and then you part. - Glad you could make it.
- I couldn't miss the first wedding of the group. - You joked and made them laugh. 
And then they were talking about the preparations for the wedding, and the family members who had come from far away, and you were smiling and laughing at the stories. But everything seemed to slow down when your gaze focused on someone behind Bucky, the only person who always had the ability to capture your full attention.
Wanda had just walked through the front door, and was taking off her coat. You barely noticed Pietro standing beside her, as your heart started racing at seeing her again. Sam called out to you a few times, until you blinked and looked at him.
- Wow, you really haven't changed at all. - he teased. - Three years and you are still completely out of breath when you see her.
You blushed, telling him to shut up, but Bucky and Sam just giggled. And then you swallowed hard, because Wanda was looking around and her gaze met yours.
Your gas in surprise, and you told the couple in front of you that you needed a drink, then you rushed to escape the room.
You ended up on the balcony, trying to recover from the intensity of the previous moment, completely affected by seeing Wanda again. 
You thought it was the best to greet the people you knew at the party, and after talking to Clint and his girlfriend Laura, and also to Steve, Tony and Bruce, you made your way to the family circles. Bucky's parents and siblings were very friendly, and Sam's family was very warm, and they all hugged you and smiled. And then you were walking around the house again, and Nat approached you, two drinks in her hands, and one of them she handed to you.
- You really came. - She said with a smile. - Bucky just told me and I didn't believe it.
- The faith you have in me is touching. - You sneered with irony and she laughed before taking a sip of her drink. You looked at your own glass suspiciously.
- Is this champagne? - you asked, and she nodded, making you sigh. You put the glass on the balcony table near you. - Thanks but I'm driving.
Nat grumbled in understanding.
- You're running away from her, aren't you? - She remarked when she noticed your gaze wandering around the room.
- Is it that obvious? 
Nat laughed lightly.
- I suppose you are going to be uncomfortable for the next few minutes, since I just told her I was coming to talk to you and invite her to join me. - She tells you and you turn your face to her sharply with a surprised expression.
- Wait what?
But Nat is smiling past you and then you feel your body tense up as Wanda's voice sounds behind your back. Nat is saying something about how nice it is that everyone is together, while you turn around and you’re probably staring, but you can't react to having Wanda in front of you. Just as beautiful as she was three years ago.
- Hi. - She said a moment later looking up at you, a slight blush on her cheeks. It took a gentle nudge from Nat's elbow on your rib for you to react.
- Hi. - you exclaimed surprised and slightly uncomfortable. - How... How are you?
Wanda smiled awkwardly.
- Good, I... i'm good. And you? - she asked hesitantly. You nodded frantically, trying to smile.
 - Good, good. I... Good.
- Jesus. - You heard Natasha say as she looked at the two of you with a frown. - Okay. I'll put our names in the gymkhana, and you can continue with whatever this is by yourselves.
You scratched your neck uncomfortably as Natasha hurried to leave. 
- So... how are things? - Wanda asked, putting her hands in her pockets.
Ignoring your current anxiety, you assumed a thoughtful expression for a few seconds.
- Things are fine. I’m... I... I'm graduating. - You tell clumsily, running your hands through your hair. - Yeah, I... I'm graduating in a few weeks. 
- Wow, that’s actually really cool. - She comments with a smile. 
- I think so. - You say, laughing nervously. - What about you, Wands, how are you? Are you still studying?
Wanda blushes at the way you call her, looking away. You barely notice the nickname escaping your lips. But then she is smiling, so you don't notice much beyond that.
- Yes, I still have a year to go, but I'm doing well. - she says. You nod in understanding, but then Pietro is joining you two, a smile on his face.
- Wow, it's really good to see you Y/N. - He remarks as soon as he reaches you two and hugs you. You laugh lightly. 
- It's good to see you too, Pietro. - you say when you let go. - I like the beard, by the way.
- Thanks, I'm trying to look older. - He comments with a cocky smile, and you laugh, ignoring the nervousness of having Wanda looking right at you. - I didn't know you would be here today, I heard you were going back to California.
- Oh, yes, I... I am. - You say clumsily, gazing at Wanda quickly. - After I graduate, I'm going back home. I don't really have anything to keep me here.
- That's a shame, really. - Pietro says and you try to focus on his face and not on Wanda's frown. - But I hope you will keep in touch with everyone by skype at least.
He jokes last, and you laugh, nodding. And then he starts asking you about college and your parents, and you answer politely, trying to ignore the nervousness in your stomach that has settled with Wanda's attentive look on you.
- Pietro, would you get me something to drink, please? - Wanda asked after a moment, and you and Pietro looked at her in surprise, but she just smiled innocently, and her brother grumbled, before nodding and leaving. - Can we talk for a moment?
You blinked in confusion, but agree. Wanda took your hand next, and you bit the inside of your cheek, feeling your face flush as she pulled you around the yard, toward a farther area.
When she stopped walking, she let go of your hand, and turned around to face you, looking nervous and a bit anxious.
- Are you really leaving? - She asked with a almost sorrowful expression.
You straightened your posture, frowning slightly.
- Yes, I... Wanda, what is it? 
- Okay, I’m.. I'm going to say this once, because I have to, and then we'll go back to our life as before, okay? - She said hurriedly, closing her eyes for a moment as she took a deep breath while you just stare her. - I'm still in love with you. And I know we broke up two years ago, but I just couldn't move on. And I guess a part of me never will. - She confesses and you feel the air escape from your lungs. - And I need you to know this before you leave, because I almost couldn't come to this party because I knew you would be here. And I can't believe that we were this intense and amazing thing only just for me. - She says last. But you are in shock, so Wanda swallows dryly. - Damn, I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything and…
- I love you. - You confess interrupting her, listening to your heart pounding in your ears.
- W-what?
- I love you. - You repeat breathlessly as you are moving forward and kissing Wanda firmly. She stumbles back in surprise, but you keep your hands on her face, until she sighs in delight and kisses you back with the same intensity. It feels as good as you remember, but eventually you part breathlessly and start talking with your forehead touching. - I'm sorry I ruined things between us. I was stupid, childish and a bloody idiot. But I'm completely in love with you and i have always been. 
Wanda lets out a surprised laugh, her eyes filled with tears. And then she kisses you again.
- God, we are a complete disaster. - She comments as you separate, making you laugh lightly. And then she swallows dryly, stroking your face with her thumbs. - What are we going to do now?
You smile, hugging her waist.
- I'm not going anywhere if you ask me to stay. - You tell her, making her sigh with surprise and happiness.
- Be my girlfriend, then. - She asks, and you let out a giggle. 
- I'd love to. - You say, and then back away a little. - We'll make it work this time, Wanda. I'm going to love you the right way now.
Wanda nods in understanding, looking at you tenderly.
- You have always loved me the right way. - she says. - We just didn't know how to show it properly.
You sigh.
- I missed you. - You say, bringing your foreheads together. 
- I missed you too. - She breathlessly retorts before kissing you again.
The kiss intensified in the next second, and you ended up pushing Wanda against the outer wall of the house, and she sighed into your mouth. God, you missed her taste. Then she sighed against your lips, and you slowed down, because you are literally in an engagement party.
When you parted, you let out a breathless giggle.
- We should get back to the party. - Wanda comments, her face close to yours. You grumble in agreement, before kissing her again, your tongue running slowly and sensually across her mouth, making a warmth rise in the pit of your stomach.
- Wow. - You say breathlessly a moment later, breaking the kiss for breath. Wanda's hands are dangerously low. She lets out a breathless chuckle, her face flushed. You swallow dryly, clearing your throat. - We'd better go before I can't stop.
Wanda smiles, nodding her head in agreement. And then you took a step back, and it was easier to breathe and think clearly.
When you returned to the party, holding hands, Natasha stared at you two and sighed, taking a twenty-dollar bill from her pocket and handing it to Pietro, who had a smug smile on his face. She complained that she had bet that you two would only get back together after the party, while Pietro had bet that it would be during. You and Wanda's faces reddened, but you laughed at the story.
Two years later, you visited Bucky and Sam, but now, the wedding invitation in your hand was yours.
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seita · 4 years ago
Text
— don’t ask | hitoshi shinsou (m.)
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pairing: hitoshi shinsou/f!reader
genre: angst, fluff, smut
wordcount: 𝟷𝟹𝟻𝟿𝟶
cw: roommate!au, sugar baby!au
tags: heavy pining, arguments, briefly ft.kaminari, rejection, possessiveness, jealousy, crying, dirty talk, pet names, dom!shinsou, fingering, riding, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, praise (?), marking, creampie, angst with a happy ending.
note: this is a thank you for 5k followers! i can’t believe i hit such a milestone in only like a month and a half! i appreciate the love and support everyone has given me and i promise to put out more quality content going forwarad!
— you thought it was strange a guy your age made such good money by seemingly doing nothing. whenever you would question him about his income, he’d grow defensive. once a month, a left the house for a few days; leaving to perform a mysterious job he didn’t want you to know about.
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© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.  
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When you saw the flier for someone looking for a new roommate, you honestly thought it was one big scam. You assumed that the second you set up a meeting, you would be kidnapped and never seen again. 
Being a lowly college kid meant you didn’t have your sea legs in the adult world quite yet. Swamped with studies, horrible at managing your time and your stress levels, you were left a constant mess. So, your solution was to stick to studying for the most part and work part-time so the job didn’t take up too much of your time. 
Another genius idea you had was the age-old roommate situation. You started out looking for listings online for preferably Musutafu or Tokyo. Alas, you came up with nothing after a handful of weeks and were intending to give up. 
However, a stop by the grocery store changed everything. It was a flyer for someone looking for a roommate in an area of Tokyo that you knew to be pretty pricey. 
It was close enough to your college campus so you wouldn’t have to worry about a stupid commute. You thought it was too good to be true as you looked at the information stating you wouldn’t even need to pay rent. You’d simply have to split some bills and buy your own groceries. 
The idea of not having to shell out hundreds of dollars a month was appealing on its own; you’d definitely be able to save with a living situation like that. 
The logical side of you was weary, however. The entire thing could be a ploy to trick some unsuspecting victim, like yourself, into who knows what. 
Still, it probably wouldn’t hurt to contact the person just in case it wasn’t a trick. No harm in checking, you supposed. 
Tugging the flyer down from where it was pinned up on the bulletin board, you folded it up and tucked it away in the front pocket of your purse to take care of when you got home from classes. 
All of that led you to meeting one Hitoshi Shinsou. He was a tall, tired looking guy around your age. His most prominent feature was the fluffy mess of purple hair that was atop his head. When you first met him, he fixed you with a cold gaze ― his purple irises burning holes into you. And for a second you were sure that you were right on your hunch and you were never going to return home. 
Nothing of consequence happened, naturally, and instead he showed you the bedroom you would be using and handed you a key before sitting down on the couch to watch TV. The whole exchange was unlike anything you expected. When you questioned him he simply told you he’d get everything straight for you and that you could begin to move in whenever. 
So you did.
As expected of such an expensive apartment, the room you were given was great. It was roomy and nothing like you assumed you would wind up with. Most college students wind up with a shitty roommate, a one-bedroom apartment, and instant ramen for dinner every night. 
Instead you got the chillest roommate known to mankind. Shinsou barely even made a peep. Most of the time you found him relaxing in front of the TV watching murder documentaries. You did learn that the poor guy had insomnia and as a result was up almost every night. Sometimes you would catch him snoozing on the couch but that rarely lasted more than 2 or 3 hours before he was up and about once again. 
You did learn that the man was a lousy cook so he mostly lived on instant ramen before you moved in. Luckily for him, you enjoyed cooking and decided to be the one to make meals for the two of you. To say Shinsou was appreciative was an understatement. 
Simply put, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. 
And so bloomed an easy friendship with him. Shinsou made it easy to befriend, although he was a quiet guy he was funny and charismatic; the type of guy who probably had a lot of friends. 
You lived there for about a month when you noticed the first weird disappearance. 
You had been laying in bed, eyes closed as you slowly began to drift off to the white noise of your overhead fan. 
What lulled you from your daze was the beep of the alarm at the front door. Sitting up, you listened carefully only to hear a couple beeps and the click of the door shutting. 
Frowning, you got out of the bed and wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to shield yourself from the chilled apartment air. Your footsteps were silent as you padded your way to the entryway. You immediately noticed that Shinsou’s shoes were gone from where they should have been sitting beside the front door. 
You checked his bedroom to find that he was, indeed, not there. You simply assumed he had gone for a walk or to a convenience store or something since he couldn’t sleep and went back to bed. That was certainly not something uncommon for the insomniac you called a roommate. 
When you got up in the morning, however, you noticed he was still gone. 
You wandered into the kitchen, intending to open the fridge to start something for breakfast only to find a cute cat-themed sticky note plastered to the front of it. Written in your roommates sloppy handwriting was “I won’t be home for a few days.”
Short and to the point but still causing questions to arise in response. 
You had no choice but to carry on. You could text him and question him but you had a feeling you wouldn’t actually get any information. 
Two days was how long he was gone for. He turned on the second night, looking as tired as usual. 
“I’m home,” he called with a heavy sigh, kicking his shoes off before dropping the heavy duffle bag he carried to the floor. 
“Hey,” you greeted over the back of the couch, “I uh...made dinner but I didn’t make any for you. I didn’t know when you’d be home.”
“It’s fine, I already ate anyway,” he hummed, dropping his full weight onto the empty cushion beside you. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. 
You eyed him and decided to simply not ask about the hickey on his pale skin. 
The time ticked past midnight and you stood up, yawning as you stretched, “I’m heading to bed.”
“Alright,” he mumbled, finally stealing the remote from you, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Hey…” you paused at the entrance to the hallway, deciding to chance it, “Where did you go anyway?”
“...To work,” he replied, simply. 
His tone held a sense of finality to it, leaving no room for you to inquire exactly what that meant. So, with a final bid, you went to your bedroom. 
It was almost like deja vu, laying in bed as you fell asleep only to hear the beeping of that alarm. You sat up and climbed out of bed, intending to catch Shinsou before he was gone but as you reached the living room, you heard the front door click shut and he was gone. 
Sighing, you wandered to the kitchen to find another note like you’d seen last time stuck to the fridge. 
As you glanced at the calendar on the wall, you realized it was almost exactly a month since the last time he did this ― you remembered because he left on the 23rd and it was currently the 22nd. You could practically feel the dots forming but you had absolutely no way of connecting them. 
Deciding to retire to bed, you attempted to sleep but found yourself thinking of Shinsou. 
Two months in a row he vanished around the same time, in the middle of the night leaving only a note. Now that you thought about it, he didn’t seem to have a job ― he only said his disappearance was part of his job. But he came back with a hickey. 
Sighing, you rolled over and attempted to fall asleep. 
Two days later, he came home. 
“I’m back,” he grumbled. 
Immediately, you noted the aggravated tone to his voice. Sitting up from where you were sprawled out on the couch, you eyed him. Instead of just dropping his duffle bag like he had last time, he took it straight to the laundry room. 
As he disappeared into the kitchen, you got up and followed him. He was squatting on the floor, rummaging through the bag as he tossed out pieces of clothing. You leaned on the door jam with your arms folded on your chest. Whether or not he knew you were there, you didn’t know. 
“There’s some dinner left for you,” you said softly, watching him pause and look over his shoulder at you.
“I already ate,” he replied, voice cold. 
You frowned, standing up straight, “Alright, well…” you sighed, “I’ll wrap it up and put it in the fridge in case you get hungry tonight.”
He didn’t reply but you kept watching him. He moved to fully sit on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him with a grunt. You noticed that he was separating the clothes into two piles. Closer inspection brought your attention to the price tags attached to the clothes in one pile. 
You found yourself wondering where he got those clothes from but you decided not to ask. He seemed to be in a rather sour mood. 
He left the new clothes on the floor and dumped the others into the washing machine. With quick efficiency, he started the cycle and stuffed the remaining clothes back into his bag. 
You backed up to allow him to leave the laundry room. His shoulders were stiff and his posture was tense. It was a complete 180 from how you usually saw him. 
“You um...you alright?”  you finally asked when he sat down on the couch. 
He barely spared you a glance before propping his feet up on the coffee table, turning the TV on. Realizing you weren’t getting a response, you attempted to brush off the brief anger that flashed through you and instead went to the kitchen to clean everything up. 
You didn’t know why he was being so rude to you ― it’s not like you did anything to him. Deciding to just head to your bedroom to study, you shut off the kitchen light and skirted behind the couch to avoid getting in his way of the TV. 
He didn’t say a word as you disappeared down the hallway. 
As opposed to last time, his ‘work’ seemed to have not gone too well this time around. At least the last time, he was just tired and feeling lazy. 
You could still hear the TV going when you put all your stuff away and crawled into bed. 
The next morning, you awoke with a sigh. Sitting up, you stretched until you felt your joints pop.
As you wandered out of your bedroom, you heard the shower going, indicating Shinsou was still around. Not that you were expecting any different. 
You fixed a quick, simple breakfast for you and Shinsou, hearing the shower turn off as you finished. Wiping your washed hands on your pants, you made your way to the bathroom.
You only got to knock on the door once before it was yanked open. Suddenly, your mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. 
He stood there, his usual fluffy hair flattened and hanging haphazardly around his face. He wore his usual bored expression despite the fact he was standing there, dripping wet with only a towel around his waist. Immediately, you got a whiff of his body wash and shampoo, making you swallow thickly. 
Fuck, he smelled really good. You always thought so, when he sat on the couch beside you, you could always smell that delicious, musky scent of his body wash mixed with the spice of his cologne. But freshly washed with it, you were nearly salivating at the smell. 
“Um…” you swallowed thickly, tearing your gaze away from the well built muscles under those baggy clothes he always wore, “B-Breakfast is ready…”
“Okay,” he mumbled, moving to skirt around you. 
You sighed, assuming he was still in a shit mood again. Running a hand through your hair, you shook the delectable sight of him fresh out of the shower from your mind. As you went to go back to the kitchen, a large hand grappled around your wrist. 
“Hey,” he mumbled. You looked over your shoulder to see him nervously rubbing the back of his neck, a habit you’d seen numerous times before, “I’m sorry...about yesterday.”
“Huh?” you raised a brow, trying to ignore how big his hand was around your wrist. 
“I was in a shit mood and I took it out on you,” he explained, “So I’m sorry about that.”
“Oh,” you relaxed slightly and smiled, realizing he was actually in a decent mood today, “It’s okay.”
He gave you his own relieved smile, making your heart lurch in your chest at the sight. It was rare to see any other expression beyond that tired, bored look he always wore. Finally releasing his hold on your wrist, he spoke again, “Let me get dressed and I’ll come eat.”
“Alright,” you nodded, biting your lip as he turned his back to you. As he walked you could see the way the muscles flexed under the skin. 
When he finally vanished through his bedroom door, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Shaking your head you moved back to the kitchen intending to stuff your face to forget about how hot Hitoshi Shinsou really was. 
Before, you thought he was good looking. Usually dark circles were unbecoming but they looked almost at home on his face. His skin was nearly flawless and looked soft to the touch ― you’d seen the skincare products housed in his cabinet. It was expensive shit too. Seriously, what was the guy's job?
That thought had your mind wandering back to the monthly disappearances. 
The chair scraped against the floor as he came back ― wearing a baggy t-shirt and black sweats. He immediately dug in and began to eat. 
“So...I have to ask,” he paused, brows coming together in a scowl as you uttered those words.
“Don’t ask,” he mumbled, shaking his head.
“I just wanted to ask...if this is a monthly thing. I’ve only been here for 2 so...I just wanted to make sure,” you clarified, watching his shoulder relax. He seemed extremely defensive over any questions related to his ‘job’, you noted. 
“Yeah. Once at the end of the month I leave for two days to work,” he answered simply, obviously avoiding giving any more information that you could feed off of. 
He was smart at least. 
The sun finally dipped below the horizon and the two of you were sitting on the couch watching TV. He had some documentary on but truthfully you weren’t paying a whole lot of attention to it. 
For some reason, your mind kept bringing you back to the sight that morning of Shinsou. As you looked at him sitting beside you, arm tossed casually over the back of the couch as he slouched with his legs spread, you found yourself admiring him. 
He had a sharp jaw and pretty lips. A look lower, your eyes landed on his hands ― long, pretty fingers with prominent veins beneath the pale skin. 
Suddenly, his sharp gaze cut from the TV to you and you found yourself locked in a gaze with him for a split second before you broke away to look at the TV once more. In your peripheral, you swear you saw a smirk crossing his face. 
But he didn’t comment and for that, you were thankful. 
You bid him goodnight and as usual, he stayed up. You began to wonder if the man even tried to sleep anymore. 
You stepped into the bathroom, warning your roommate that you were taking a shower. He shouted back a simple ‘okay’ before you shut the door. 
You stepped under the stream of water after stripping, the steam of the hot water filling the bathroom and relaxing your muscles. You tipped your head back to wet your hair, humming to yourself. 
You eyed Shinsou’s body wash sitting in the purple caddy handing on a hook on the wall. It brought you back to how nice he smelled when he was close to you. When you could feel his body warmth radiating off of him. You would look at him, his shoulders broad and his body warm and inviting. It was nearly impossible to resist the urge to cuddle yourself into his chest. 
You wondered what it would be like to lay against him, his arms wrapped around you as he softly stroked your skin. Maybe he would press a soft kiss to your forehead ― the idea alone made you melt. 
Realizing you had lost yourself in thought, you hurried to finish your shower and get to bed. 
You fell asleep with Shinsou on your mind that night. 
Shinsou’s third monthly work time finally rolled around once again. This time, you stayed up late so Shinsou had no choice but the interact before he left. You were hoping to maybe get more hints about what it is he did. 
He shut his bedroom door, hoisting his duffle bag over his shoulder with a grunt. You were surprised to see him in actual clothes ― rather nice ones as well. 
His jeans fit him perfectly and the button down shirt he wore was tucked in, showing off his lean figure. The belt buckle on his jeans indicated it was name brand and you found yourself wondering how much his job even paid. 
“I’ll be home same as usual,” he mumbled, bending down to slide his shoes on at the door. He looked so good doing just a simple task and you found your heart racing in your chest. His shoulders were accented so well by his shirt. The sleeves were rolled up halfway on his forearms and there was an expensive looking watch on one of his wrists. 
Butterflies erupted in your stomach as he opened the door ― suddenly finding that you didn’t want him to leave. 
“Um…” you called, making him pause in the open door, looking over his shoulder with a brow raised in question, “You...uh…” you struggled to find something to say but he waited patiently for you to form your next words, “Have a nice time...come home soon.”
Your heart thudded painfully as you watched his gaze soften, a smile forming on his lips as he nodded, “I’ll see you later, ______.”
Your ears were ringing as he shut the door, the sound of your name coming from his lips echoing in your head. You sunk down onto the couch, hand on your chest as you came to a startling realization. 
You had a crush on your roommate. 
Living with Shinsou after coming to terms that you had a crush on him was...difficult to say the least. Simple things he did that you used to pay no mind to, you now found yourself getting jittery at the sight. 
Like the way he rubbed his eyes with a fist when he woke up from a nap on the couch, a sound you could only describe as a whine coming from his throat as he sat up. 
The day your kitchen sink stopped working and he had to fix it was one you wouldn’t ever forget. He was leaning beneath the sink, in the cabinet on his back as he fiddled with some tools on the pipes. His white t-shirt became see-through as he sweat from the hard work, his biceps flexing with every movement he made. His shirt rode up a bit over his stomach, exposing his abs that moved and rippled with every movement. His sweats were riding low on his hips, exposing that delicious v-line and happy trail that vanished beneath the band.
The worst part was the way you could see everything in those gray sweatpants he wore. You were pretty sure he wasn’t wearing any underwear. 
You had to leave the room and hide in your bedroom with the window open until he finally finished fixing it. 
You definitely didn’t let your hand slide down your panties to the mental image of him that night. 
Despite living together for nearly four months, you knew close to nothing personal about Shinsou. Putting aside his weird, shady two-day job once a month, you didn’t have anything else to go off of on who he was. 
He was a quiet guy who liked documentaries, video games, and had insomnia. He really loved to eat breakfast foods and cats. Although you hadn’t been in his room even once, only had a couple peeks inside, you knew he owned some cat-themed stationary at the very least. 
Despite his cold appearance, he was actually quite kindhearted and gentle but seemed to have no desire to show it unless necessary. One time, you cut your finger while cooking and you swear you’d never seen him run faster to get a bandaid from the bathroom ― one with a cat on it, no less. 
You still remember the feeling of his hand holding yours and how close his face was as he inspected the cut. You could have leaned in and kissed him so easily then. 
And god was that tempting. 
So lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the glass you were holding in your hand slipped free until it shattered in a million pieces across the linoleum floor. You gasped, startled as you looked around for a way to escape but a single step in an area you thought was clear brought a cry from your lips as you stepped on the tiny shards. 
You heard a loud thump from the living room where he had been playing a video game before the thundering footsteps raced into the kitchen. Shinsou’s eyes were wide, like he was terrified of what he would find. 
“Don’t move,” he snapped, noting the way you leaned against the counter to take your injured foot off of the ground. He opened the storage cabinet and pulled out the broom and dust pan. 
It took only a few minutes for him to clean it up enough to get to you safely on his own bare feet. Instead of you limping your way to the living room however, you found yourself swept off your feet. 
Your heart raced so hard, you could hear it pounding in your ears. You were cradled against his chest, so warm and firm with his strong arms beneath your knees and shoulders. His heavenly scent surrounded you ― more intense than you’d even smelt it before. As you finally got a close look, you took notice of how his long lashes framed his pretty eyes. 
All too soon, you were placed on the couch and he was disappearing down the hall with quick efficiency. You were still stunned from being in his arms that you barely noticed he had returned until he was on his knees in front of you. 
Immediately, your cheeks bloomed hot with a blush. The image of him on his knees like that immediately sent your mind to a wicked place. 
Luckily your dirty mind was stopped in its tracks when he began pulling glass from your foot.
You gasped in pain, attempting to pull away on reflex but he held strong, sharp gaze burning holes into you.
“Sit still,” he growled, sending a shiver down your spine. 
His voice was so low, so commanding that you found yourself immediately doing what he said. You always were weak to a dominant man. 
Soon enough, your foot was cleaned and he deemed that the bleeding had stopped.
“It’ll probably hurt like hell for a little while when you walk on it,” he warned, packing the first aid away. 
“Thanks Hitoshi,” you smiled, earning a soft nod of acknowledgement from the man. 
The memory of being in his arms, even for that brief moment, was imprinted in your mind. As you laid in bed, you thought about it. It made your stomach flutter in excitement as you fell asleep. 
The fourth monthly job for Shinsou came and unfortunately, you missed him leaving. You had stayed up studying and as a result fell asleep earlier than usual. When you woke up he was already gone and you were left with a painful throb in your heart. 
You missed him. 
As you lazed on the couch, you found your mind wandering to him again. Like always. It was like your mind was cursed. 
You wondered if he thought about you at all. The idea made you feel giddy and you had to bite back a smile. You felt like a silly schoolgirl with your crush ― the way he made your stomach flutter, your heart race, and your cheeks burn was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t like you could confess, he hadn’t given much of a hint that he even thought of you as a friend. Plus, you weren’t sure if you were willing to give up the killer apartment and perfect roommate gig you currently had with a foolish confession. 
You heaved a sigh, sitting up with a new idea in mind. 
A way that you could learn more about him.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t the...most noble means. 
Standing outside his bedroom door, you bit your lip. It felt wrong to go into his room without permission. It wasn’t like he went into your room ― as far as you knew, who knows what he did while you were at school or working. 
The metal doorknob was cold in your palm as you turned it and pushed it open with a soft click.
You’d seen his room in quick glances before when he opened it but you’d never gotten to fully inspect it. He had a large bed that took up the most space in his room. Situated on a dresser at the end of the bed was a TV, a Playstation set up beside it. Against the opposite wall was a desk with a gaming computer setup and a red and black gaming chair pushed in neatly. 
There were a few articles of clothing littering the floor around his laundry basket and his closet was partly open to reveal his primarily monochromatic wardrobe choices. 
Walking into the bedroom, you immediately got a whiff of his cologne, making you smile at the addictive scent. You took a seat on the edge of his bed, the black comforter incredibly soft beneath your hands. 
You leaned forward and opened his nightstand drawer, finding nothing too interesting ― a picture of him standing with a smiling boy with crazy green hair, a pink-skinned girl, and a beaming red-haired guy. 
You hadn’t really given it much thought ― that he had friends. He didn’t really talk about anyone, in fact you never heard him mention anyone in his life besides his mom a few times. You did note that he texted on his phone quite a lot and sometimes you could hear him laughing and cursing from his bedroom as he played a video game. You wondered what his friends' names were, what they were like ― what it was like to be friends with Shinsou. 
What you wouldn’t give to be someone...important in his life. 
Sighing, you closed the drawer and moved to his dresser. Your own thoughts caused your heart to ache and you tried to brush it off by looking through the drawers for something interesting. 
Fortunately, you got what you wished for. 
The last drawer to the right contained a little black metal box buried beneath some clothes. You pulled it out and took a seat on the floor, pressing the button to open it. It popped open and you gaped at what you saw. 
It was filled with money. More money than you’d probably ever seen in your whole life. The bills were wrapped together with rubber bands ― there had to be thousands of dollars in even a single stack. As you pulled out the bundles, you found that there were things located beneath them. 
Jewels; all types. Diamond rings, necklaces, bracelets, ruby and emerald gems decorating them. You pulled out a ring and held it up, watching as he gleamed under the light. 
You tucked everything back inside the box and hid it back the way you found it, shutting the drawer before standing up. 
You had no idea what to think as you shut his door once again, moving to your own room. How could he have all that money hidden away like that? It was certainly shady. 
Perhaps it was counterfeit? Or maybe he stole it! 
And what about those jewels? Did he steal those too? Why were they hidden instead of sold off somewhere?
You had so many questions and absolutely no answers. 
Suddenly you were regretting going snooping in his room. 
The fifth month of living with him would have to be where things started to go downhill. 
He came home from his weekend away, tired and grumpy, just wanting a relaxing shower. However, you hadn’t realized he was home so in your tired, sleep-filled daze you stumbled to the bathroom with the urgent need to pee. 
You pushed the bathroom door open and halted in your tracks, heart stopping in your chest at the sight of shirtless Shinsou. 
He had his back to you, displaying the angry red scratch marks that raked down the pale skin of his back, making them stand out even more. He realized you were there and spun around, eyes narrowed in a glare. With his chest in view, you could see all the hickeys and bites that trailed down  his body, disappearing in the hem of his jeans that he had yet to shed.
“Get the hell out,” he snapped, ripping the door from your hand before slamming in shut in your face. 
You stared at the wood for several, long seconds, stunned. You heard the shower start and snapped out of your daze. Forgetting your once desperate need to pee, you trudged back to your  bedroom and quietly shut the door. 
You weren’t a fool ― you knew exactly what those marks meant. You crawled under the covers and found yourself wondering what kind of woman got Hitoshi Shinsou’s attention enough to get him into bed. 
And what did she have that you didn’t?
Truth be told, you couldn’t even imagine him as the type to sleep around. He wasn’t exactly sociable and he rarely seemed to go out of his way to interact even with his friends.
You could hear the shower turn off and you were suddenly reminded of the way he slammed the door in your face ― the ache from realizing he’d been with someone else only exacerbated by the knife of his shouting at you. 
You closed your eyes and attempted to sleep, ignoring the sting behind your eyes. 
The next morning, you found yourself not wanting to get out of bed. You could hear Shinsou shuffling around the house, doing god knows what. You heard him walk down the hallway, heart freezing as he stopped in front of your bedroom door. 
You closed your eyes, willing him to go away. 
Luck was not on your side, however, as he knocked thrice on your door. It was loud enough that you knew you wouldn’t be able to feign sleeping through it. 
You sighed and crawled out of bed and trudged over to the door, pulling it open just a bit to get a look at him. 
He had his head down, hand clasped around the nape of his neck with his other hand shoved in his pocket. He looked up when he heard the door open, brows drawn together as he gazed at you partially hiding behind the door. 
“I uh…” he cleared his throat, “I went out and picked us up some breakfast.”
“Oh…” you shifted on your feet awkwardly, nodding your head, “Thanks...I’ll eat later.”
You were about to close the door, desperate to escape the burning in your eyes as you remembered last night. Before it could close, however, he shoved his hand in the crack. You paused, not wanting to crush his hand in the door. You let him push it open to show more of you ― clad in shorts and an oversized t-shirt that you loved to sleep in. Thankfully the shirt was big enough that he wouldn’t be able to tell you weren’t wearing a bra. 
“I have to apologize,” he grunted, meeting your gaze, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that last night. I was just ticked off…” he trailed off.
You bit your lip, “I uh...I didn’t know you were home...so that’s why I just...walked in…” 
He shook his head, “No I understand, really. Y-You just surprised me and I reacted. I really need to stop taking my shit out on you, I’ll work on that, really. I shouldn’t have slammed the door like that either. It was a shit night but it wasn’t your fault you didn’t know I came home.”
“I-It’s alright, Hitoshi, really,” you smiled, though it faltered a bit at the memory of those scratches and hickeys.
“I...hope you’re not hiding away in here because I upset you,” he muttered, making you frown once more.
“What do you mean?” you questioned.
He bit his lip, looking away awkwardly, “you’re usually up around 10 and it’s...getting close to noon. You don’t do that normally so...I can only think you were trying to avoid me and that’s the last thing I want. This is your home too and I never want you to feel like you can’t be comfortable here.”
You gaped at him, processing what he was telling you. First, he paid close enough attention to you that he knew what time you got up ― that thought made happiness bloom in your chest and second, that was probably the most you’d heard him say in one sitting.
“It’s okay now, Hitoshi,” you smiled, “let me get dressed and I’ll be out to eat, okay?”
He smiled, making your cheeks burn at the sight as he nodded, turning away from you to move back to the living room. You closed your door and sighed. 
It was crazy how just a simple smile from him had your heart fluttering. However, it was quickly halted by the memory that he had someone ― maybe it was a girlfriend. That made your chest ache and you bit your lip to halt those negative feelings as you stripped and changed out of your pajamas. 
You had no idea how you were going to get past the painful clench in your chest every time you looked at him now. 
Month six rolled around and nothing very interesting happened. Shinsou moved his playstation into the living room so the two of you could play some games together. It was a fun bonding experience and you got to watch the way his eyes would light up whenever he beat you. The sound of his laugh still rang in your ears and you couldn’t help but smile every time you thought back to that pretty smile of his. 
It became a weekly thing for the two of you, every Friday night you would sit down on the couch together and play into the early hours of the morning. You got to know more about Shinsou than you had ever before. 
Sometimes he would jerk his body and brush against yours, sending goosebumps across your skin. He was always so warm and inviting ― just having him near you sent your poor heart into palpitations. 
You almost forgot about what happened the previous month when he came back ― those hickeys and scratches on his back finally having been cast out of your mind. 
Your heart did ache when you bid him goodbye the night he left again, wondering if he was going to see her or not. 
The seventh month was when that already precariously balanced life came crumbling down all at once. 
Shinsou was in the shower as you played on his Playstation, sitting in front of the TV with a frown on your face. You could hear the shower running and in the back of your mind you pictured what he might look like ― water running down his flawless skin, his hands caressing. You felt an almost pitiful clench in your core at the mental image. 
Your perversions were cut short by the sharp ring of the doorbell. You paused your game and groaned as you stood up, your knees popping from being sat in the same position for too long. Unlocking the door, you pulled it open and paused. 
A woman stood on the other side of the door, a well-fitting black dress and fur coat wrapped around her shoulders. Her ears, neck, and wrists were adorned with sparkling jewelry and you could see the red bottoms of her expensive heels. She wore vibrant red lipstick across pretty, smiling lips as she acknowledged you. However, you could see the cold gleam in her eyes that made the smile all too fake. 
“Can I help you?” you asked, leaning against the door jam. 
She hummed, tucking some hair behind her ear with perfectly manicured nails, “Is Toshi here?”
“Toshi?” you raised a brow at the nickname, “He’s in the shower. What do you need?”
“Just to talk,” she replied, stepping forward like she wanted to come in. When you didn’t budge she raised a brow, “You don’t mind if I come in, right? I’m sure Toshi would love to see me.”
“Uh…” you didn’t get a chance to reply as she brushed past you, her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor as she made her way towards the living room, “Sure...come on in…” you whispered sarcastically, rolling your eyes as you shut the door. 
You could hear the shower was turned off, indicating Shinsou would be returning in a minute. You looked at the woman as she glanced around the apartment, feeling a sting of jealousy burning within you. 
Was she the girl he was dating?
“So...how do you know Hitoshi?” you asked, making her smile. 
“I’m his girlfriend, of course!” she beamed, voice far too peppy for your liking.
The words sent an arrow through your heart and you looked away with a hum, ignoring the need to flee to your room and cry into the pillow like a stupid middle schooler. 
As if on cue, the bathroom door opened and Shinsou strolled down the hall, towling his hair as he moved. 
Any other time you would have drooled over the sight of a shirtless Shinsou, gym shorts hanging loose on his hips as he walked.
“Uh...Hitoshi…” you mumbled, getting his attention. 
He looked up from beneath his towel, meeting your gaze before his eyes moved to the woman beside you. Immediately his eyes went wide and he stood up straight. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he snapped, startling you with how aggressive those words came out. 
The girl didn’t seem too affected, merely pouting as she spoke, “I wanted to talk to you.”
“You have no business being here,” he growled, jerking his head to the door, “Get out.”
“No!” she argued, walking right up to him, “I deserve answers before you throw me away like trash, Hitoshi!”
“I don’t owe you anything,” he replied coldly, breezing past both you and her to go to the kitchen. She followed him but you remained in the kitchen, listening as they argued.
“Why won’t you see me anymore?!” she cried, petulantly stomping her heeled foot. 
“Because you got too damn attached,” he spat, opening the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water before walking into the living room again. 
“Attached?!” she gasped, grabbing his arm to force him to look at her, “I have given you so much. How can you just break it off without a real reason! Come on, Toshi, just...be with me, you won’t have to work anymore.”
He tensed, glancing over at you at the mention of her job, jaw set, “Just get out, Kana.”
She looked over at you, a sly smile forming on her lips, “She doesn’t know what you do, does she? Is that why you’re avoiding this?”
He didn’t reply, simply glared at her. Kana scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “After all I spent on you, you have no right to just run away. You know I can treat you better than anyone else can, Hitoshi. You’re making a mistake.”
“I have plenty of other clients lined up, Kana,” he shot back, making her frown. He chuckled at the sign of weakness she showed, “What? Did you think you were the only one? No, sweetheart, I have plenty of girls waiting to spend even just one night with me. You’re not special. You’re certainly not the highest paying one either. There’s nothing of importance tying me to you. You have nothing special to offer. You got too attached, starting having feelings for me...you know it would never work with my job. So just leave before you get your feelings hurt.”
Both of you were stunned silent. You because you had never heard him speak so coldly and harshly to someone before ― even when he was having a bad day and accidentally took it out on you. Her because the words he spat out with such venom wrecked her pride and made her burn with anger. 
She clenched her fists and snapped her head towards you, “Best not to get close to this prick,” she warned, her voice watery with unshed tears, “A man who makes money being a sugar baby isn’t one you want to get attached too.”
With those last words, she stormed out. The slam of the door made both you and Shinsou flinch. The silence that followed was even more deafening, however. 
Shinsou cursed under his breath, running a hand through his half-dry hair.
“So...she wasn’t your girlfriend?” you asked, making him look over at you. 
He was quiet for a second before chuckling under his breath, “You learn what my job is and that's the first thing you wonder?”
“Well!” you defended yourself quickly, “She introduced herself as your girlfriend!”
He shook his head, moving around the couch to take a seat, “No, she was just...a client I spent time with for a while. She started catching feelings so I cut it off and referred her to a friend of mine. Apparently...she didn’t like that.”
“How’d she know you lived here?” you asked, sitting beside him.
He shrugged, “She could have looked through my shit at some point, I suppose.”
You hummed, not wanting to push him to reveal more than he wanted to. After all, it wasn’t even his choice to expose his line of work anyway. 
Well, at least you had answers on why he had all those expensive clothes, cash, and jewelry. It was good to know he wasn’t some type of shady thief in the end. 
“It’s...just a really bad idea to get involved with clients,” he explained suddenly, “It’s not a relationship that’s built up on anything real. Having to pay for the company of someone is not a good foundation,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair again before looking at you, “I hope you...don’t think differently of me because of my job.”
You shrugged your shoulders and shook your head, “It’s not really my place to judge you, you know?”
“Thanks,” he smiled, “It’s not really something that’s as bad as people think. It gets a bad rep for having sex for money and shit but...truthfully majority of my job is just...being company to rich women. Sometimes they want to take me around to some fancy parties to show me off or go on dates because they’re lonely. Sex isn’t the majority of what I do. I mean...I will but...it’s not the most common occurrence.”
Once again, the vision of those hickeys and sex-scratches crossed your mind and you found yourself wondering what kind of woman gave him those. At least you could be assured he wasn’t going out to see his girlfriend when he went to work ― they were strictly clients.
Which meant...he was probably single. 
Your heart stuttered in your chest at the hopeful idea. 
“How about I order some take out?” you asked, standing up to retrieve your phone. 
“Get some pizza,” he called as you disappeared down the hall. 
After his occupation was revealed to you, things began to look up. He became more open and carefree around you ― as he no longer had a big secret to hide. He didn’t really talk about his work but he wasn’t hiding it from you either. 
You decided not to ask too many questions, knowing you’d only burn up in jealousy at the idea. You knew you didn’t really have a right to be jealous since you weren’t his girlfriend or anything but you couldn’t help it either. 
The peaceful feeling didn’t last long, however. Once the fire started burning, it had no other choice but to rage. 
“You should really just tell him, _____!” your friend, Uraraka whined, head against the table.
“It’s seriously painful,” Momo agreed, “All this pining is making me sick.”
“Oh real nice,” you rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee. 
It felt nice to hang around with your friends for once ― it wasn’t something you frequently got the opportunity to do. 
Just as Uraraka was about to open her mouth and reply, a looming shadow dropped over the table. You all looked over to find the familiar blonde hair and wide grin.
“Kaminari,” you greeted with a smile.
“Hey _____,” he waved before tucking his hands in his pockets, “Listen, I’ve been wanting to ask for a while but...would you like to go out with me sometime?”
The question left you stunned. 
You weren’t super close to Denki Kaminari, you shared a few general studies classes. He was a goofy, excitable guy who always seemed to know how to light up a room. Everyone around him was always in a good mood, in general he was just a very positive person. 
Not just that but he wasn’t too bad to look at either; with his pretty, wide eyes and sharp jawline. The black lightning bolt streak through his hair just made him look even more charming. 
But you hesitated, your mind drifting to Shinsou. 
Sighing, you bit your lip, “Can I get back to you on that?”
He smiled, nodding his head, obviously relieved you didn’t tell him a flat out no, “No problem. I’ll see you later!”
Once he was gone, a sharp smack landed on your back making you cry out.
“Why didn’t you give him an answer?!” Momo cried.
“Denki’s a great guy, _____! You should do it!” Uraraka added.
You shrugged, “It’s just…”
“If you’re holding out hoping something will miraculously happen with stupid Shinsou, it’s a stupid idea,” Momo said, making you pout that she had read you so easily.
“Just tell him how you feel, _____,” Uraraka sighed, “If he rejects you, you can accept Denki’s date!”
You sighed but didn’t reply. Your two friends shared a look before changing the topic, drawing the attention away from your hopeless crush on your roommate. 
When you got home, you were filled with a sense of urgency. Shinsou wasn’t in the living room so you went to his bedroom, knocking a few times on the door before he opened it. 
“Hey,” he greeted, a tired smile on his face, “Welcome home.”
“Hitoshi,” you swallowed thickly, steeling yourself.
He frowned, “What is it?”
“I need to talk to you,” you breathed.
“Okay,” he stepped aside, waving you into his room.
You hesitated for a second, realizing that there would be no turning back once you walked inside. The door shutting behind you echoed in your head. He moved past you to take a seat on his computer chair. The screen was lit up behind him, indicating he had probably been playing something before you interrupted. 
“I’m all ears,” he said softly, relaxing back in his seat.
“I…” you shifted on your feet, biting your lip, “I got asked out on a date.”
He raised his brow, cocking his head to the side. Part of you had hoped you would see some hint of jealousy from him at your words but his face remained as steely as ever.
“And...you want advice or something?” he chuckled.
You shook your head, “I want to know if…” you took in a deep breath, “If you like me before I accept him.”
He was silent for what felt like an eternity, just staring at you. Shinsou was always the type of man to think before he spoke, running through all possibilities before opening his mouth. His throat moved as he swallowed, a soft sigh coming from his nose.
“You...have a crush on me, or something?” he asked, making you deflate slightly.
“Yes,” you admitted, “And...if you don’t like me back then I’ll accept this boy’s date. There’s no reason for me to wait around and hope you’ll like me back when I could be out meeting someone new.”
He nodded his head, quieting once more. You watched as he stood up, taking a few steps towards you, “_____…” you heart clenched at his tone, knowing what was coming, “My job...it doesn’t leave me room for personal relationships.”
Despite how much you prepared yourself for it, hearing him reject you hurt. You nodded, forcing yourself not to cry as you backed up towards the door.
“Alright then,” you gave him a tight-lipped smile, turning your back to him, “I guess I’ll accept Kaminari’s date then.”
As you walked out his door, you didn’t see the pained look in his eyes. Your name lingered on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t dare speak out. The click of his door was deafening in his ears and when you were gone he sighed, hanging his head as he sat on the edge of his bed, feeling like an idiot. 
The next day, you hunted down Kaminari, telling him you’d love to go out on a date with him. He was thrilled, going off excitedly about how he couldn’t believe you actually accepted him and that he would make it the best date ever. 
And truth be told, the date was a blast. You had told him you’d never been to laser tag before and immediately he said that was exactly what you do then. The sound of Denki’s laughter still echoed in your ears as he lost to you, accusing you of cheating in a lighthearted tone. 
You didn’t see much of Shinsou after you started seeing Kaminari. Although it was casual, you spent a good bit of time hanging out with him ― he began eating with you, Uraraka, and Momo on campus and the two of you texted often. 
It seemed that Shinsou wasn’t making a big effort to hang out with you anyway. As much as that hurt, you knew it was for the best. It spared you a lot of hurt and him of the awkwardness of living with a girl who had a crush on him. 
It was fair enough, you mused. 
But when you laid in bed at night, your phone on silent and the faint sound of Shinsou’s voice floating through the walls as he gamed with his friends, you felt the now familiar tug on your heart. You longed to be with him. 
But you knew it was pointless now. 
You’d been seeing Kaminari for a month when he showed up on your doorstep to pick you up. Usually you would leave and meet him but due to the rain, he opted to pick you up and save you both from the hassle. 
You were in your room, putting the final touches on your makeup when the doorbell rang. Before you could react, you heard Shinsou open the door. 
You quickly grabbed your purse, tossing the strap over your shoulder as you opened your door. You could hear their voices carrying down the hallway.
“Holy shit!” Kaminari laughed, “What a small world ― it’s been a while Hitoshi!”
“Denki,” Shinsou greeted curtly. 
“You ______’s roommate?” Kaminari asked, tucking his hands in his pockets as he waited for you, “She’s talked about you a bit. Didn’t know it was you, though, man!”
“Denki―” Shinsou was about to say something more but was cut off by your entrance.
“Hey there babydoll!” Kaminari greeted with a grin, holding his hand out for you to take, “See you later, Hitoshi!”
Shinsou didn’t respond as he watched the two of you leave, his jaw set tight as he held himself back from calling out. 
-
You felt like you’d never been more angry in your life as you stormed home. Things had been going so well between you and Kaminari, you felt like you could genuinely start to like him. You enjoyed his company and began to think less and less about one purple haired roommate of yours. 
You slammed the front door, startling poor Shinsou on the couch. He turned around, eyes wide at the blazing anger visible on your face.
“What the hell is your problem, Shinsou?!” you cried, kicking your shoes off and tossing your backpack to the floor.
“Huh?” he raised a brow dumbly, only fanning the flames of your rage. 
“You…” you heaved, fists clenched, “Who do you think you are?! Telling Denki to break it off with me?!”
Realization quickly flashed over his face and he groaned, standing up, “I didn’t tell him to break up with you!” he argued. You opened your mouth to retort but he put his hand up to stop you, “I just told him to think it over. Do you know how we know each other, ____?”
“No,” you shook your head, tossing your hands up, “What does it matter? You still have no right to interfere in my relationship!”
“He’s in the same line of work I am!” he snapped, rounding the couch, “He does the same exact thing I do.”
You paused, letting the information sink in, “Why does that matter?”
He shook his head, “Do you really want to be with a guy who spends his nights in bed with women, _____? That’s not exactly the easiest job to trust a man with.”
You didn’t have a retort, “I thought...the majority of the job was just being a companion.”
Shinsou sighed, taking a seat once more, “It really depends on the guy. Denki is pretty popular because he loves to get his dick wet.”
You thought those words would make you feel jealous. The idea of the guy you were seeing fucking other women should make you feel something but instead...you felt almost relieved. Still, it didn’t simmer the anger you felt towards Shinsou at putting his nose in your business.
“You should have come to me and told me your concerns, Shinsou,” you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him, “Instead of going behind my back for me to be dumped.”
“You’re right,” he admitted, biting his lip, “I just...wanted to see if Denki was still the same as he was when I last knew him. It’s just how it happened. I am sorry.”
Sensing his apology was sincere, you relaxed and nodded, “I’ve got to study.”
With that, you hid away in your room. 
You couldn’t deny you still felt a bit ticked off with him but at least you were able to move past it. You realized you weren’t truly attached to Kaminari, you were just using him to shove your feelings for Shinsou away ― a pretty dick move on your part. So you were relieved to be out of the relationship.
Unfortunately, this left you with Shinsou once more. Where he once was pushed from your mind for the most part, he now resumed plaguing your thoughts. 
You couldn’t deny how tired you were. 
It was emotionally exhausting feeling your heart race at the mere sight of him only for it to ache when you remembered there was no chance in hell he’d even give you the time of day. 
Things reached a head when he returned from work. Eleven months in and all the negative feelings and tension finally culminated. 
“Hey Shinsou,” you called, finding him leaning against the kitchen island with a cereal bar in his hands. 
He looked over his shoulder, an unusually cold look in his eyes as he regarded you, “What?”
You tried not to flinch at the tone, frowning, “Is everything okay?”
“Fine,” he snapped and you sighed, realizing he was in one of his moods, “What do you want?”
“I...nevermind,” you shrugged, “We’ll talk when you’re in a better mood.”
You hadn’t meant for it to be something to piss him off further. You truly meant that you would wait until he felt better to talk. For some reason, however, he took it wrong.
“The hell is that supposed to mean?” he growled, pushing himself off of the counter to storm up to you.
“Nothing!” you defended, “I don’t want to get into anything with you, okay?”
“If you have something to say then just say it!” he snapped, making you shake your head.
“No!” you argued, turning on your heel to storm into your bedroom. 
Before you could get very far, however, a tight hand was wrapped around your elbow, pulling you back.
“Don’t fucking run from me!” his tone sent shivers down your spine, the angry fire burning in his eyes finally snapping something inside you.
“I am so fucking tired of this!” you tore your arm from his grip, not missing the frustrated grunt he gave in response, “This shit isn’t working anymore, Shinsou! You clearly don’t know what the hell to do with yourself; you come home from working and you’re in a shit mood and you take it out on me. Then you act like everything is perfectly fine. You know how I feel about you, so you can’t even pretend that doesn’t have anything to do with your behavior. In fact, I know it affects you because why else would you have convinced the only guy I’ve seen in the past like two years to dump me like trash! All over this stupid fucking job of yours. I don’t want to deal with the shitty way you make me feel, Shinsou!”
“So?” he snapped, teeth bared.
“So I’m gonna fucking move out!” you threatened, standing nose to nose with him.
His eyes narrowed and he let out a humourless laugh, “Fine! The sooner the better!”
With those last words he stormed past you, slamming his bedroom door with deafening finality. 
You were left alone in the living room, fists clenched as tears you’d held back so long finally broke free. 
A stupid purple haired idiot was not worth being hurt so much over. That you were sure of. 
It’s not like he even cared, apparently. 
With that thought finally pushing you into action, you returned to your own room to begin looking for new housing. 
In all your time living with him, the longest you went without seeing him was two days. Once a month when he went to work ― that was the only length of time you didn’t see him every day. 
Now, however, the two of you were avoiding each other like the plague. You had been busting your ass finding a new apartment, going to school, and working as usual. Shinsou had been hiding in his room the majority of the time. 
You even stopped cooking. 
Part of you wondered if he even noticed. Deep down, however, you knew he probably didn’t care. 
He would just get a new roommate and go on like usual. Like you had never existed. 
At least you’d be able to get over him then. 
It took a month before you found a decent place. It was nowhere near as nice as your current one but there was nothing you could do about that. Your situation with Shinsou was unique and you knew you were never gonna have an opportunity like this again. 
You came to terms with that. 
Wandering out of your room, you were surprised to find him sitting on the couch. His nose was buried in his phone but the TV played his usual shows. 
“Hey,” you greeted, keeping your voice even. He grunted in response, not looking up, “I found a place. I’ll be out by the end of the week.”
He didn’t say anything and you sighed, feeling your eyes burn. 
How you wished he would say something to stop you ― to show you that the past year wasn’t a huge waste of time and that you really meant nothing to him. You felt you could have at least called yourselves friends but...apparently that was one sided. 
The thought hurt so you escaped to your room once again to hide. 
The night before your move, you were laying in bed playing a game on your phone. Laying on your back, you held the screen up and tapped your thumbs aggressive against the screen. Your momentum was lost by three sharp knocks on your door. You cried out as your phone fell from your hand and dropped on your face. 
“Shit,” you groaned, tossing it away and getting up from bed. 
Opening the door, your words caught in your throat at the sight of Hitoshi Shinsou’s sleepy gaze fixated on you. His hand was clasped around the nape of his neck and he was looking away nervously. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?” his head snapped towards you, eyes wide before you realized how that sounded, “I-I mean I thought you were supposed to be gone! You know...to work.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly and he shrugged, “I cancelled. I...wanted...no, I needed to talk to you. Can I come in?”
You stood there for a few seconds, thinking it over before stepping aside to let him in. He gave you a tight lipped smile before you shut the door behind him. Turning to face him, you took note of the way his free hand was shoved into his sweats pocket. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. 
“What...what did you need?” you asked, sitting on the edge of your bed. 
He remained standing, obviously thinking over his words carefully. His back was to you, his figure hunched slightly in his usual posture. But you couldn’t miss the tension his form held. 
“I never intended this to become a long-term thing,” for a moment you thought he was talking about your living arrangement but before you could refute, he was turning to you, “This sugar baby thing, that is. I had a friend who did it and made some good money from it and eventually I got into the scene and realized just how good it could pay. It’s been like 2 or 3 years now since I’ve been at it.”
He dropped his hand from around his neck, beginning to pace around your room to gaze at your various knick-knacks. He paused at the few boxes you had packed up already, a frown marring his face.
“I make even more money by selling the presents I get. Sometimes the clients will give me jewelry or clothes, I always sell them,” he sighed, picking up a snow globe that sat atop your dresser, shaking it mindlessly to watch the fake snow float around the glass. 
“Why are you telling me this?” you asked softly.
“The truth is, I hate the majority of my job,” he confessed, ignoring your question, “Most of the people are pretentious assholes who think they’re better than me because they pay me. I don’t mind being arm candy, it doesn’t really bother me. And not gonna lie sometimes the sex is bomb,” he chuckled almost lifelessly and you ignored the pang in your chest at his words, “But the position I’m in forces me to basically do whatever they want me to. Naturally, I have limits and shit but if they want to dominate me I let them and that sucks.”
“Hitoshi,” you grumbled, making him look at you, “Why are you telling me about your sexual preferences?”
“Oh right…” he shook his head, “I hate doing it because I don’t have much control in my life because of it,” he looked at you with fierce eyes, “That’s why...I want to say fuck it.”
Before you could respond, he was walking up to you, cupping your cheek in a warm hand. Your eyes were wide, staring up at him as he moved close to you, his lips brushing yours. 
“It’s been so fucking painful letting you go,” he whispered, “Having to reject you and let you go out with fucking Denki nearly broke me down, not gonna lie. I didn’t want him to hurt you, that’s why I interfered...but I also...didn’t want to let him have you when I wanted you so damn bad myself.”
Your heartbeat stuttered as you stared up at him, wide eyed, “D-Does that mean you…”
He nodded, “Shit, I’ve liked you for so long, _____. It’s been so hard not telling you how I feel every single day.”
“Hitoshi,” you likced your lips, reaching up to fist the front of his shirt. He hummed before you spoke again, “Please kiss me.”
There was a quick flash of his smile before his lips met yours ― every bit as soft as you expected them to be. You could faintly taste toothpaste on his lips but you didn’t mind one bit, he probably tasted the same from you. 
His hand moved from your cheek to your jaw, angling your head to deepen the kiss. Your own hands moved around his shoulders, pulling him closer. 
You quickly found yourself on your back, his hand wandering up the hem of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your stomach. You whimpered, fisting his hair as you kept him locked in a kiss. He didn’t seem to mind, simply sighing against your lips. 
You still had questions but you couldn’t bear the thought of stopping this so you tucked them into the back of your mind, devoting yourself to what was right in front of you. 
Shinsou sat up just slightly, breaking the kiss. You almost whined but the feeling of his hand creeping upwards towards your bare breast stopped you.
“Is this okay?” he asked for your consent, pausing before he actually touched you.
“Very,” you breathed, tugging him back down for another kiss. 
Immediately, he cupped your breast, thumbing your already erected nipple. You gasped into his mouth, earning an amused chuckle from him.
“Sensitive?” he asked, pecking your lips before suddenly sitting back. 
This time you did whine at the loss. He flashed you a fond smile before pushing the hem of your shirt up to your neck, revealing your chest to his greedy eyes. 
“D-Don’t just stare,” you complained, feeling your cheeks burn as he admired your body. 
“Sorry,” he replied insincerely, cupping your breast once more, “You have such pretty tits, you know? I couldn’t help it.”
You scoffed but it turned into a choked gasp as he enveloped your pert bud in his hot mouth, wet tongue lashing against it before he pulled away with a firm suck. You wrapped your hands in those soft, purple tresses and whined. His other hand came up to pinch your other nipple, making sure to give it just as much attention. 
“Toshi…” you whined, tugging his hair until he pulled away, his lips swollen. 
“What is it, baby?” he hummed, nosing at your neck to press soft kisses there.
“T-Take your shirt off,” you breathed, tugging at the hem until you were able to pull it over his head with a bit of assistance. 
Once he was as shirtless as you, your hands began to wander to touch every bit of skin you had long to for so long. He let you explore, letting out a soft sigh when you brushed over one of his hardened nipples. You didn’t linger in one place for long, quickly growing too curious at the sight of his member straining against those damn sweatpants he always wore. 
His head tipped back as you palmed him through the fabric, quickly noticing that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Eagerly, you dipped your fingers beneath the hem and pulled his cock free, your fingers not even able to touch once wrapped around. 
He was thick, a curve to his length that you just knew would hit a certain spot inside of you that would make you lose your mind. The head was a flushed red color, leaking precum that you used to give him a couple easy strokes. 
He reached down, grabbing your wrist to stop you before slipping his own hand down the hem of your shorts and panties. 
Your hips bucked the second his fingers made contact with your folds ― already dripping wet and coating his digits generously. He gave a few soft circles to your clit, testing your sensitivity before finding the pressure that had you cunt clenching around nothing. 
You whined, grinding your hips against his touch in hopes he’d slip at least one of those long fingers into you. Thankfully, you were granted your wish and more as he easily slid his middle and ring fingers in. 
He groaned as you walls tightly clenched around him, trying to desperately pull him back in whenever he pulled them out slightly. 
“Feel good?” he breathed, already knowing the answer but craving your praise.
“So good,” you whimpered, biting your lip. He curled his fingers suddenly, nailing that sweet, spongy spot on your upper wall, “Right there!” you gasped. 
He grinned, massaging that one pleasure-point with vigor, “Yeah? Right there, kitten?”
You keened at the name, walls clenching. He groaned at the feeling, suddenly pulling his hand free from your shorts. You didn’t have time to complain before he was tugging the remaining articles down your legs to toss away. 
He moved with practice expertise, grabbing you beneath the thighs to pin them open. Your wet cunt was exposed to his all too greedy eyes. He licked his lips at the sight, making your cheeks burn. 
Before you knew it, he was kneeling on the floor beside the bed, tugging you down just a bit so your ass was almost hanging off the edge. The position left you completely at his mercy. He knew it too. 
You watched with bated breath as he spread your folds open ― revealing the shiny, pink hole that continuously dripped your arousal. It clenched beneath his leering gaze and he groaned. 
“Fuck!” you squealed when he dove forward to wrap his lips around your hardened clit. 
He hummed at your taste, sending vibrations through the little bud. He quickly abandoned that in favor of getting a full taste of your juices. Tonguing your entrance, he reveled in how tight you were around his tongue. 
You reached down, tanging your fingers in his hair as he ate you with all he had. His tongue worked expertly to circle your clit before dipping back down to your hole once again. 
“Please, put your fingers in,” you begged, desperate to be filled. 
He quickly obliged, slipping two long digits into your clenched pussy before mouthing over your clit eagerly. He could already feel you clenching sporadically around him and he couldn’t resist setting a quick pace, hammering against your sweet spot with every movement. 
Your muscles were taught as you felt that glorious high building up. Soft pleas left your lips as your back arched. 
“Gonna cum, kitten?” he tasted, flicking his tongue against your clit.
“Y-Yeah!” you sobbed, abandoning your hold on his hair to tear at your blankets ― not wanting to hurt him in your throes of pleasure. 
“Cum then,” the casual way he said those words flicked a switch and you were cumming. 
He groaned through your high, feeling your cunt spasm around him. He felt your cum gush from around his digits, soaking them as you clit throbbed beneath the pad of his tongue. Once your body began to relax, he pulled away. 
Your thighs slammed shut once he was out of the way, your muscles trembling through the intense aftershocks. While you were coming down, he stripped himself of his sweats, popping his cum-soaked fingers into his mouth with a groan as he fisted his cock to the sight of you trembling. 
The fact he made you cum so hard was a boost to his ego and he didn’t bother fighting the prideful grin on his face. Sweat coated your skin and made your hair stick to your neck. 
After several seconds, he climbed onto the bed and maneuvered you so your head was in the pillows. You bit your lip and grinned slyly at him as he climbed onto the bed. 
“Shit uh…” he looked around your room quickly, a frown on his lips. You looked up at him curiously before he explained, “Condom?”
You bit your lip and shook your head, “D-Don’t worry about it.”
“Huh?” he gaped down at you.
You shrugged, “I’m on the pill and well...I’m sure you use condoms with you...job, right?”
“Always,” he blinked.
“Then…” you wiggled your hips at him with a cheeky grin. 
He chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. Reaching between the two of you, he gripped his cock and tapped the head of it against your folds. Your thighs jumped as he slapped lightly against your sensitive clit. 
Finally, he began to press into you and your mouth fell open at the delicious stretch his cock gave you. He clenched his teeth, letting you soft groans as he sunk more of his length into you. Your walls gripped him so tightly, spasming and clenching as he was fully seated within you. 
The two of you had to pause before continuing, the feeling of him filling you up too much. His cock was thick, making you feel like he was stuffing you full. 
“Please,” you begged, fisting the pillows on either side of your head as he sat back on his heels. 
Gazing between your thighs, he nearly lost it at the sight of your cunt stretched tight to accommodate him. He thumbed over your clit, receiving a sharp cry from your lips. 
“Fuck...you’re so fucking tight,” he growled, circling his hips against yours with a groan, “I can feel you clenching so tight around me. Bet you wanna cum again, huh?”
“Yes!” you cried quickly, mouth agape as he gave a sudden thrust, “Please make me cum!”
He shushed you, rubbing his thumbs over your hips, “Don’t worry, kitten, I got you...I’ll get you there.”
Before you could respond, he was setting an almost brutal pace. You always imagined what Shinsou would be like in bed ― you pictured it too many times at night. Sometimes you imagined he would take it slow with deep, intense thrusts. Other times you’d picture exactly this; rough, harsh thrusts that you were sure were going to leave you sore when the morning came. 
You had no complaints though. 
Hitoshi gripped you beneath your knees, pinning your legs to your chest as he fucked you. Your cunt gushed around him, making lewd, wet noises reverberate around the room and mingle with your mixed moans. He let out groans of pleasure, strands of purple hair sticking to his forehead. 
You couldn’t help but admire the sight of him ― muscles rippling and moving with the force of his thrusts. Reaching up, you pulled him closer against you, dragging your nails across his shoulder blades. 
He winced but you felt his cock twitch at the pinch of pain inflicted as a result. You thought back to what you saw that one night ― the marks some random woman left on his body. Suddenly, you were overcome with the need to mark him as yours. 
Catching him by surprise, you managed to flip him over, straddling his waist, using his strong chest as leverage to fuck yourself on his thick cock. The new angle allowed him to reach even deeper, almost hitting your cervix every time you sunk down on him. He gripped your hips, assisting your movements as he tossed his head back into the pillows. 
“Shit, that’s it, kitten,” he praised, reaching up to pinch one of your nipples.
You keened at the praise, leaning down to deliver a sharp bite against his shoulder, sucking at the skin until a bright red mark bloomed. You eyed it proudly, biting your lip as you ground against his cock, making sure your clit got the attention it needed. 
Shinsou bucked into you, making you whine as he started a steady pace of bouncing. Your thighs burned but it was worth the sight of having him beneath you. The way he stared up at you, as if you were a goddess made your heart race. 
“Toshi…” you whined, leaning back to steady yourself on his thighs as he started to thrust up into you. 
“What is it, babygirl?” he grunted, gripping your hips tightly as he fucked his thick cock into your gushing cunt. 
“Make me cum, please!” you begged, biting your lip. 
He grinned, bringing his thumb to his lips to lick the pad of it, “I got you, baby.”
Before you could think of a response, he was circling his thumb around your clit, the bud desperate for attention. Your body tensed with just a few quick circles of his thumb, his cock angled against your g-spot so perfectly that you immediately reached your high. 
Through your own cries of pleasure, you heard him moaning alongside you before he froze, his cock buried deep inside you as he came. His cock throbbed and pulsed with every jet of hot cum he released into your clenching walls. 
All at once, things stilled. You both relaxed against each other. His cock was still stuffed inside you, softening as his cum leaked out around him to make a mess between the two of you. You laid your head against his chest, his large hand cupping the back of it, pressing soft kisses against your forehead until your heartbeats finally slowed to a reasonable pace. 
“Let’s take a bath, baby,” he groaned as he sat up, keeping you secure in his lap.
You were surprised he could carry you so easily after he nearly fucked the very life out of you. 
Soon enough, you found yourself surrounded by sweet-smelling water with a fucked-out Shinsou cuddling against your back.
“Not to...ruin this afterglow bliss,” you hummed, leaning back against him as the warm water ripped around you, “But what brought this confession on suddenly? I thought you said your job doesn’t allow room for relationships.”
He was quiet for several, long seconds before he leaned forward to press a kiss to your shoulder, “I didn’t think it was fair to let myself be with you when I was going out once a month to hang around with a bunch of women. It isn’t something I want to put you through.”
“So you’re going to quit?” you asked. 
He nodded, “I probably won’t be able to make enough money to keep this place but...if it means I can have you without feeling like shit about hurting you, then yeah. It’ll be worth it, I’m sure.”
“Why don’t you just…” you bit your lip, pausing.
“What?” you questioned, gripping your chin to make you look at him, “Talk to me.”
You hummed, “Just stop with the sex and kissing stuff...just be arm candy, like you said. Hang out with them. They’ll still pay for that, right?”
He raised a brow, shifting so he could look better at your face, “You’d be okay with me going to hang out with a bunch of women who want nothing more than to sit on my dick?”
“Well…” you cleared your throat, your cheeks burning, “As long as only I get to sit on your dick then it’ll be fine. I trust you, Hitoshi.”
He was quiet once again before a smile fell across his lips, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips, “We’ll talk more about it later. Let’s just relax.”
He tucked you against his chest, leaning back against the porcelain of the tub. With his fingers caressing across your skin, you allowed yourself to drift off ― finally wrapped up in those damn arms you dreamed of.
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rainy-day-coffee · 4 years ago
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hi... how about head cannons about the dorm leaders with a magical girl mc from either the puella magi magica madoka, magical girl site, magical girl raising project or princess tutu universe please?
I'll be doing Magical Girl Raising Project for this one! I’ll be using the abilities found in the anime since I’m not creative enough to think of any myself. The personalities of the characters themselves have nothing to do with the abilities I chose, they’re their own person! This is written as platonic! I hope this is alright!
As an extra note, this was a really interesting topic to write about. I enjoyed it! I actually just binge watched this anime for this request! It was quite good, I might pick up the light novels!
Warning: Mild mentions of gore; spoilers for Magical Girl Raising Project(?)
Dorm leaders reacting to a Magical Girl Mc
A new game has been released! Customize your own Magical Girl and work hard to defeat monsters!
Granted a 1-in-10,000 chance to be a real-life Magical Girl, the unfortunate souls who agree to the contract are unknowingly pulled into a world of bloodshed. All Magical Girls are expected to collect Magical candies through acts of helpfulness. Whomever is at the bottom of the ranking list by the end of the week is greeted by death. That is, if they can even make it that far.
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Magic: Swimming through objects as if they were water - the objects do not affect the user as they pass through them.
He’s never heard of an ability quite like yours! It isn’t teleportation--it’s literally going through objects, ignoring any kind of barrier. It sounds impossible. Understandably, he doesn’t believe you until you show him.
Please refrain from popping out of random places in an attempt to scare him. He doesn’t want to be on edge everyday, the stress he has now is more than enough.
He’s curious about the whole situation. Just how and why did these “people” wrap you (and others) into such a terrible contract? How is it possible to grant these special abilities onto otherwise magicless people? Unfortunately, you most likely don’t have answers for those questions.
Sadly, Riddle doesn’t know of a way to help you out of this. The library may have some information, but the chances are slim nonetheless. He can offer assistance in candy collecting instead!
Something always seems to be going on at his dorm, it would help him greatly if you were to keep an eye on everything and everyone. He knows it isn’t much, but every little bit counts. You have his full support.
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Magic: Entering the dreams of others - the ability to pass through the Dream World, granting access to the dreams of those who are currently sleeping.
He’s extremely annoyed. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. He’s only seen you a couple times before, so why do you seem to plague all of his dreams?
In his dreams, you move so vividly and in-character, it baffles him. Dream versions of people can be accurate, but never to such an extent each time. He’ll confront you about it soon enough. He has no evidence of what you’re doing, however vivid memories of dream-you push him to demand answers anyways.
Highly uncomfortable to know his dreams, his usual safe place, can be invaded by a person. He demands that you stop. You can go bother someone else, he doesn’t need that kind of help. If he sees you in there one more time, he may have to resort to other methods to get you to stop.
In regards to earning candies, unless you ask him specifically for help, there isn’t much he can do. You can always help Ruggie out with chores around Savanaclaw and you’ll be set. It’s a good deal for both sides, you can earn some candies and Leona can finally sleep comfortably again.
He finds the system you’re stuck in deplorable. Unfortunately, he can’t get you out of it, but if you ever need extra help he can always have Ruggie find one or two ways to get you those extra candies you need.
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Magic: Hearing the thoughts of those in need - with enough training, the user can pinpoint the location of a person. Additionally, they can hear thoughts apart from cries for help.
Your special magic interests him greatly. He already has a good pool of information of all the students, but being able to hear their most inner thoughts is something truly amazing. No amount of research could easily give him those kinds of details.
He has the twins watch over you for a bit, gathering as much information as they can about your situation and what you go about doing.
Given the circumstances, he doubts he can rob this ability of yours through a contract. This does however present an amazing opportunity.
This could blossom into a wonderful partnership. You need to collect candies, and he’s always willing to accept requests from those “poor” souls who need help. By helping him, you can meet your quota! The rules never did mention what kind of help you were limited to offer after all.
He pities you, nothing can be done about your situation at the moment. You can rest assured though, you’ll never be at the bottom of the leaderboard with him around!
When time allows it, Floyd and Jade will be busy poking their noses where they don’t belong. The mascot that appears when you’re around seems to come from that phone you use. If they can see it, then that means these beings have made a mistake somehow. Is it possible to find a way to free you from this through that?
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Magic: Transforming into any biologically living being - the size and shape of the creature do not matter, anything is fair game.
When he first discovers your special magic, he’ll be amazed! Transformation magic isn’t exactly easy, so being able to turn into whatever creature you want sounds like a lot of fun!
He’ll be begging you to turn into a wide variety of animals. Can you please turn into a tiger? How about an elephant? Maybe an alpaca? This could go on for hours if you don’t stop him.
Upon learning the darker side of the Magical Girl world, he starts to cry. He knows the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but this is too cruel. You didn’t know you would suffer this way. They should have at least given you all the information beforehand. Better yet, they shouldn’t be doing something so awful in the first place.
Because he finds it hard to keep secrets from Jamil, he ends up telling him about you. He then needs to convince Jamil that you aren’t trying to get him killed.
He goes around asking if people need help. He wants to do everything he can to ensure you survive. Money can’t get you out of this game, he’s tried to use it but that mascot that follows you around always refuses it.
Kalim doesn’t want you to die. Just thinking about it makes his head spin and worry bubble. It wouldn’t be his fault if you died in the first place, but the guilt would consume him entirely.
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Magic: Freely manipulating sound - the user can generate sound from anywhere and even recreate the voices of others. As an added result of this ability, the user has enhanced hearing.
Vil won’t forgive you if you decide to mimic Epel’s voice so he can escape. He may be evading his lessons for now, but Vil will find a way to drill them into him later on.
He never would have thought such a thing was possible. This terrible fate you’ve had forced onto you makes no sense. The beautiful power you’ve been given is nothing compared to the price. He doesn’t blame you, he blames whatever is doing this. 
If such a game exists in the world of Twisted Wonderland, he’ll use his influence to dissuade people from playing. Vil will do this behind the scenes of course, his public image has to remain intact.
He actively requests your assistance. For example, helping his dorm improve their instrument playing--your impressive hearing can detect small mistakes they need to work on. Apart from this, he regrettably can’t offer more help.
Hone your abilities and work with what you have. He knows you can prevail. Please take care of yourself as you move forward.
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Magic: Receiving one futuristic tool a day - the ability to randomly pick one useful tool out of 444,444,444. The tool breaks down and is no longer of use after a day passes.
He’s in awe. A real life Magical Girl! To think they could really exist outside of anime! Just what kind of world did you come from? Forget living in a world where magic is common, Magical Girls are on a different level entirely! Curiosity gnaws at him, but given how shy he is he won’t approach you with questions himself. Ortho is more than happy to ask any questions for him in his place though!
Once he finds out you’re one of those Magical Girls, he feels a tad sympathetic. You really got the short end of the stick in life didn’t you? He knew the possibility was there, that trope is not uncommon, but a small piece of him wished it wasn’t the case.
He supposes your special magic can be compared to gacha luck. You never really know what you’re going to get. Unfortunately, in your case you can’t even calculate rates for good rolls.
If you’re willing to let him, he’ll happily take apart the tools and gadgets you get from your daily pull. One of those future items should help him create even better machines than he can now! And even they can’t, disassembling and reassembling objects he’s never seen is a thrill in and of itself
If you happen to hear a small tip from Ortho or someone else about an issue occurring around campus, it may or may not have been Idia. He has eyes all around the school, spotting problems is quite easy.
He’ll be rooting for you from the sidelines. You’re a protagonist in this story, he hopes you can make it through to the end.
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Magic: Extreme regeneration - being able to recover from any wound so long as a portion of the user’s body is left.
Mortified when he finds your body all mangled and bruised after a rough “accident.” Malleus is ready to destroy whoever or whatever did this to you. He cares about you greatly, the very thought of seeing you in such a state makes his stomach churn and pure rage wash over him.
Once you explain your situation, he can grasp enough to understand the major gist of it. He doesn’t quite know what a “Magical Girl” is but obviously it isn’t something good. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be in such a terrible situation.
To know that you can take care of yourself in the face of danger, makes him relieved. Although he doesn’t like the idea of you getting hurt at all, a healing ability is always wonderful to possess.
While you earn candies, Malleus will be working on a way to free you.
Even if these beings who granted you this ability are “all-powerful,” his magical capabilities are among the top in all the world. Perhaps, he can start by politely asking for answers from the leader of this group. If that seems to fail, killing off that mascot seems like a good place to start instead.
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darkandstormyart · 4 years ago
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Xicheng fic recs
(figured i might make a list of my own)
(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)
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in no particular order:
Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight
“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“
post-seclusion lxc
trying to get jc to sing
bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before
cute
Always use protection by hesselives
“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.
Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”
bodyguard au
honestly just really intersting worldbuilding
Rewrite the stars by Arashii
“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“
ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU
enemies to lovers!
flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod
No paths are bound by Arashii
“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.
Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“
TGCF AU TGCF AU
ghost king jiang cheng come on
doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers
jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves
once upon a dream by cafedeolla
“Xicheng soulmate AU
An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.
The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“
soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution
misunderstandingssss all over the place
now with a squel (in progress?)
Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi
“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.
With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“
have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered
adorable xicheng
good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren
ongoing <3
Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly
“One day.
Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.
Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”
now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!
mermaid!lxc need i say more?
Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly
“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“
done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang
yoga instructor Lan Xichen
Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that
If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart
“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).
So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.
***
[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”
superhero au, come on
jc just trying to do his job in peace
(he can’t)
i love it so much oh my god *sobs*
The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart
“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“
there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology
actually one of the first xicheng fics i read
i chose it because there were mermaids
painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics
kids! lots of kids!
Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart
“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“
Harry Potter au!
just really fecking cute
lots of snakes
[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]
Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes
“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“
done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang
uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe
heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?
slowburn xicheng being lovely
The Provenence of Hope series by velithya
“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“
got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~
A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112
“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“
a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews
good grandpa lqr!
canon but fixed and less painful
🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair
xicheng getting together through the years
friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way
Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya
jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance
i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13
two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do
haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:
Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously
““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai
**
Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“
it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(
i will tho
Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13
“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“
Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar
“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”
The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel
gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around
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aestheticanimegirl15 · 4 years ago
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Meeting their future S/O
Pairing: Kirishima, Bakugo, and Amajiki + Fem!Pregnant! Reader 
Summary: These poor babies don't know what happened when you suddenly fell out of a portal into their laps. They are even more confused when they see you sporting a baby bump.
TW:None (other than some slight cussing) just some cute fluff and confused teenage boys.
Omg I never knew people would like my brain dumps so much🥺 thank you!! I really hope you like this one I saw a similar theme on another page but I can't seem to find it so I can credit them😔.Please excuse bad grammar and spelling. Hope you like it!! Stay safe and beautiful 🌸🦋✌🏻
__________________________________
Kirishima 🦈
🦈 This poor baby was so confused at what had just happened. He was sitting in the common room playing on his phone while Bakugo yelled at someone/something (he had gotten used to his yelling by now and tuned him out.). 
🦈 Next thing he knew a beautiful girl landed in his lap from a portal above him. She not only knocked the air out of him but also fought everyone's attention with her pretty noticeable baby bump. 
🦈 "What did you do!?" Denki shouted at him while helping you out of Kiri's lap.
🦈 "How am I supposed to know she fell out of the sky!" Kirishima yelled back. 
🦈 Everything got even more confusing when they saw the wedding ring on your left hand and your shirt (Which was oversized,black, and had a picture of a much older Kirishima on it,sporting an absolute MANE of red hair, with the words RED RIOT in bold under it.)
🦈 Iida had already started bombarding you with questions about your physical health and didn't notice you grabbing Kirishima's hand and squeezing it while also holding your bump. 
🦈 "Guys guys leave her alone already. Can't you see you're stressing her?" He said while helping you up and shooing everyone away as he took you to his dorm room. 
🦈 Once there he hears you giggle and mumble something about how "It's a little messier than what you told me."
🦈 Shark.exe has crashed. Excuse me what? Did he know you? He tried to rack his brain for an answer but never found one. 
🦈 "Um do you have your husband's number? Maybe we could call him and ask him to come pick you up." Kirishima says while grabbing his phone ready to dial whatever combination of numbers you gave him.
🦈 "You really don't know me yet do you?" You said lightly shifting your body so you could sit on his bed and get off your slightly aching feet. Kirishima shook his head slowly feeling like he did something wrong before another portal opened up and in walked (more like ran) a older and, in his mind, more manly version of him
🦈 Immediately you sprang up and hugged the male and letting out a rather loud “Kiri!!” The male hugged you back before asking if you were ok and placing his hands on your stomach.”I’m fine Kiri I just want to go home and see our son.”You said giggling before turning back to current Kirishima who looked almost ready to pass out.
🦈 “I’ll see you in the future but a little hint.” You leaned in and muttered in Kirishima’s ear “I’m the only one who calls you Eiji.” But before he could piece it together you were already gone.
🦈 P.S He did figure it out and gained the courage to ask you out and the first date went amazing save for the fact he tripped and fell. He totally embarrassed himself but you made it better by giving him a kiss at the end of the date. 
Bakugo💥
💥 Ok bear with me on this one, how this played out Bakugo was walking in the dorm building, after he had his ass handed to him in training, when he heard someone yelling, like YELLING, louder than even him. He walked to the kitchen ,where the noise was coming from, and saw a woman with a large pregnant stomach yelling at Denki who had taken away some of Bakugo’s personal stash of very spicy chips from her.
💥 At first he was mad that someone had actually found the secret stash, then he was amazed that someone was able to handle the amount of spice the chips had (he won’t admit it but even to him sometimes the chips were too hot to handle). 
💥 Denki sees Bakugo watch the situation before he runs behind Bakugo while screeching “Bro get your girlfriend!!” (poor Denki can't get a break) 
💥 “Hey don’t hide behind him you coward! Give me the chips back!” You yelled at the blonde, who by now had run away into the safety of his room, but soon the anger turned to happiness when you saw Bakugo. “Baby!” You squealed and (tried) to run to him but he held his arms out and backed away.
💥 “Woah, woah, woah who are you calling baby!?” Bakugo yelled and in turn made you stop and hold under your stomach.
💥 “You silly! Don’t you remember me?” You say suddenly going quiet for a second.
💥 “No!? Should I?” Bakugo now regretting what he said, I mean you were obviously heavily pregnant and you called him ‘ baby’. He was trying to rack his brain of any ‘’ extras’’ he had come into contact with but came up with nothing. Though he did find it strange that you kinda looked like a girl he liked to pick on from class 1-B. 
💥 Your mouth opened in a quiet realization “You don’t know me yet do you?” To which the male responded with a confused shake of his head. You didn’t seem upset about it though like he thought you would. 
💥 “Well then can you help me get to the couch please? My back is starting to hurt from standing for so long.” You said almost shyly glanging down at your large stomach before back up at Bakugo. He nodded silently and helped you over to the couch where you gladly sat down and grabbed his wrist lightly. “Can you please stay? I know you have no clue who I am but if you wanted to know I will tell you.” You said happily. 
💥 After he sat down (and gave you back the spicy chips that Denki stole) you told him everything, about how you met, how things are in the future, and much to his surprise how his future self proposed to you. (He thought his future self was both amazing and an annoying simp for you). You started to giggle at his surprised face when you finished the story and it turned into a full blown laugh when he looked at the engagement ring on your finger then to your large stomach. 
💥 Wait, that would mean he……....Pomeranian has died and  left the chat. 
💥 But before he could ask to make sure a portal opened up and an older and ahem…. More muscular version of him appeared and his future self almost sprinted to you and hugged you tightly (being careful of your stomach of course). Future him pulled away and looked over you for any sort of injuries and, when finding none, turned to his current self. 
💥 “Thanks for taking care of her for me.” His future self says “It might not seem like it now, especially after that beating you took today in training, but things are going to get better. Trust me.” His future self mummers quietly before picking you up bridal style and going back through the portal.
💥 The next time he sees you he doesn't pick on you or call you an extra much to the confusion of you and his classmates. But he knows it will make sense in the future and he holds onto what his future self said “Everything is going to be ok.”
Amajiki🐙
🐙 This poor shy boy didn’t even know what hit him when he walked into his dorm and saw a pregnant woman holding a child that oddly looked similar to him. Miro had grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the woman sitting on the couch holding the child protectively. 
🐙 Amajiki was even more confused when the small child jumped out of the girls arms and ran to him and HUGGED him yelling “Daddy!!” His face turned about 70 shades of red and he kept stumbling over his words still trying to comprehend the situation. 
🐙 “Lillia!” You said making the little girl look back at you. The little girl had rather long wavy hair that was the exact color of Amajiki’s just a little lighter and she had his dark violet eyes. She looked like an exact carbon copy of him. 
🐙 “Sorry mommy..”Lillia whispered and crawled back into the woman’s lap and hugged her large stomach. This poor boy was so confused. The little girl, who couldn’t have been any older than 4, called him daddy and the woman mommy and the last time he checked he was still (sadly) a virgin. 
🐙 “I’m sorry about that Amajiki . She doesn't understand that you have no clue who we are yet.”  You said looking down at the little girl as you rubbed her small back. Lillia had her cheek squished against your stomach whispering things to the unborn baby. 
🐙 Amajiki flushed red again and started to mess with his fingers, his anxiety starting to kick in a little. “B-but she c-called me daddy?” He mumbled out shyly making you smile lightly
🐙 “God you haven’t changed much since highschool.” You said rubbing your lower stomach. Amajiki flushes red again but manages to gain the courage to sit next to you. The little girl tries to crawl over to him but stops when she looks at your stern face. Amajiki notices this and says something about it being ok and Lillia quickly goes and crawls into his lap hiding her tiny face in his chest. 
🐙 At first he freezes up not being used to human contact much but calms down rather quickly(which is odd since he never really calms down at human contact). He looks over at you and tries to figure out who you are, he has never seen you around campus before and does not recall seeing you at the festival. 
🐙 You smiled as you watched him try to figure out who you were. You knew what he was doing since whenever he was thinking really hard his eyebrows would furrow together and he basically looked like he was pouting.
🐙  It was so adorable. 
🐙  Well it was until he realized if his future self actually WAS your boyfriend/fiance/husband whatever that meant he also……. Shy.boi.exe left the game
🐙 You were about to explain but a portal opened and a older version of Amajiki practically ran through and grabbed your face lightly checking you over before looking Lillia over who latched herself onto his leg 
🐙 "Baby we're fine." You said holding the side of his face letting him calm down. Older Amajiki looked over to his present self and smiled mumbling out a thank you before picking both Lillia and you up and disappearing through the portal. 
🐙 His current self did end up finding out who you were. You worked part time at a flower shop that he walked past a lot going to the park. (He ended up buying some flowers from you and you had slipped your number between some of the flowers.)
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jamestrmtx · 3 years ago
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Wish Upon a Night Sky - [Beastars | Various x Reader]
[Female, Sheep Reader | Slow Burn]
Act Two | Down to Earth
[First] | [Previous] | [Next]
"What are you standing there alone for, (Y/N)? Come sit with me!"
While you expect Juno would rather have lunch with people she already knows well, you see her stand up from her seat and approach your side when she spots you nearby. She holds the tray firm in one hand and waves with the other. In response, you smile and grab your own tray tight before following her, all while ignoring the ever-growing feeling of everyone's eyes on you, regardless of almost all the students around being too busy eating, talking, and walking to notice your presence. So far, and -- close to what you expected -- you've only talked with the wolf and the dog; the latter you hadn't even come across with since yesterday afternoon. Truth be told, you want to take up his offer and knock at the door of his dorm, but more than one reason restrains you from doing it.
First, you'd only known him for a day, and even if you really did only need to ask him more about the school, you couldn't gather sufficient courage to do it. Second, you didn't want to risk making your parents worry by telling them the very first thing you'd done was run off to the boys' dorm without a care in the world. Third and most important of all right now, you didn't know how to keep up a normal conversation with Juno without worrying about your word choice every few seconds, so merely thinking of doing the same with Jack made you retreat on the idea without thinking it twice. Having to share a room with someone else and the impending need to form small talk and prevent yourself from seeming rude or awkward was already draining enough -- mentally, most of all. You're aware you're far from prepared to tackle any other, larger issues without having an internal meltdown over them, so it's best to set some limits for the moment being; perhaps eventually, you could handle a bigger crowd, but today's not that day.
Being homeschooled weights more as a con the more hours you spend at this school. Not only do you have a hard time being social and getting adjusted to such a large campus, but you barely have any knowledge of the relationship between carnivores, herbivores, and those in-between. If you didn't wish to be classified as ignorant or naïve, you would soon need to ask either Juno or Jack to tell you where the library is. Starting off with some basic research is about the least you can do to break out of that shell -- once and for all.
"...Earth to lamb?"
You flinch and almost topple the juice box on your tray. 
It takes you a second to process that you've already made it to a table, and a few more to acknowledge Juno's now sitting down --  and with an empty chair waiting across from her, too.
"Sorry," you say, mouth and ears drooping just as much as your courage. Your head spins as you rush to sit down and shrink away in your seat, avoiding eye contact with her by all means possible. Then, you take your drink, open it, and sip some of it, hoping to ease the tension out of you. "I keep... spacing out lately."
Juno smiles and tilts her head to the side, while her ears perk and her gaze lights up. Her eyes are intent on you, and these carry the same brightness as when she talked with you about love. "Someone on your mind?" She looks behind her -- as if expecting to see your source of interest from close by; her smile remains intact as she goes back to looking at you. "Is it Jack?" she asks, winking. "You looked like you were getting along pretty well with him yesterday."
You smile back, though you still end up shaking your head to let her know otherwise. Having a crush on someone so quick and suddenly was unlikely for you, but the reminder of how passionate she seemed about this particular subject yesterday makes you believe she's the type to fall fast and love lavishly. You fork some of the salad on your tray and toy with it for a moment, mind yet to return from its journey as you consider her words and just how different your view on love is when compared to hers. "I was thinking of him, but not like that." You take in some air and brace yourself for any incoming questions. "I was actually wondering if… if you knew where the library is? I know he offered to help, but-"
"So there is something going on with you!" The wolf interrupts you with her excitement and stands up from her seat. Her gaze is now as wide as the smile on her face, and her energy almost rubs off on you. She places her hands on the table, leans in, and suspends herself over it. "Was it love at first sight? Don't skim on the details, (Y/N)!"
You scratch your throat and prepare yourself with a deep breath, at a dire need to tell her the truth. 
"Ah, n- no." You set the fork down and look up to meet with her eyes. The desire to clear things up grows stronger, and you can't ignore it for much longer. "I just want to make friends, but I'm not sure I'll be too successful in that, considering how… who I am."
Juno's excitement falls. Her gaze knits as she sits back down, and a frown replaces her smile, overpowering her previous attitude entirely. "What do you mean?"
You gather wit to be blunt, not wanting to sugarcoat how you feel about yourself and this recent change. "Frankly, I'm…" Your words trail off and you hesitate with a deep breath in, along with one out. "I feel I'm too... ignorant to understand how to get along better with others at this school." Hunger stays absent -- even when you stare down at your plate and breathe in its scent. Your confidence from yesterday proves to be little and outright superficial with how different you feel today, reaching towards a level of self-consciousness you haven't experienced since your early teens. "I only ever went to kindergarten, and the rest of my years were taught at home." You grab the juice box and drink from it in an attempt at finding your appetite again. When you gulp, it feels worse than before. Nausea arrives with how much you dwell over a single topic. "To be honest, It… It surprised me when I noticed I'd be staying in the same dorm as you. Jack heard me say something… rude about it, though I'm not sure if you heard me, too."
"Oh, I heard you," Juno replies, a laugh leaving her mouth. She takes a bite from her food before continuing with, "But I pretended not to." 
"Why would you do that?" you ask, now your turn to frown. "You were so close by when I yelled that…" Your face turns hot the longer you think about that memory. "It was rude of me. A terrible first impression, that's for sure!"
A grin forms on her face, though she doesn't say anything yet. Rather, she takes another bite off her meal, almost emptying the plate in the process. How fast she eats prompts you to start eating from your tray, against wasting any food and risking the chances of feeling hungry by your next class. "Maybe it was, but I wanted to see if you would bring it up someday." She sets the cutlery down and glances behind you, grin growing. "And you did," she adds, words as confident as you wish you could be. "Much earlier than I thought you would." Juno gazes behind you again; her tail wags and her eyes spark with what looks to be mischief. "Look behind you!"
You do as suggested and almost end up falling from your seat when you come face-to-face with Jack, his knees currently bent to match with your sitting height. His snout is nearly close enough to brush with yours, and that same excitement and joy from yesterday remains in his stance. "How's your first day going?" he asks, tail wagging at a similar pace to Juno's, although his smile proves to be more genuine rather than teasing. "It's nice to see you making friends already!" His eyes shift towards the wolf and turn back to you once more. Then, a slip of paper is offered out to you, this one folded neat and compact for you to carry. "Here's my number, in case you ever want to hang out."
"Being bold again, aren't you, Jack?"
His hold on the paper stays even as you take it; a hint of embarrassment shows up on his cheeks when he looks at Juno. Her comment -- slowly, but surely -- dawns on him and leads to him staying frozen in that same spot for a while. "It's not like that!" Jack exclaims, snapping out of it. He finally lets go of it to stand up straight and meet the wolf with a flustered gaze.
Juno, on the other hand, laughs it out with just as much glee as the first time "Sure, it's not," she replies, giggling. Her teasing nature returns in an instant, hardly giving him a chance to recover from the previous blow. "First, you invite her to your place, and then you give her your number, too? I'm the person you can least hide these things from."
That's enough for her to shut his mouth.
Jack's forced to find a distraction by facing you again, with a less confident look now present in his eyes. "Think we could talk later? I'm meeting up with some friends today." He stops for a second; fluster falls from his face as a cheery expression makes its return. "And maybe I can introduce you to some of them, too. I'm sure they'd like to meet someone new!" He takes a final glance at the paper before leaving the table, an act done while avoiding Juno's gaze from all angles. 
"Y- You can still keep that, by the way."
With that last, stuttered sentence, he runs off -- but not before waving goodbye. 
You wave back and watch as he disappears from your sight, leaving you alone with Juno once more, who smiles in response.
"So... Friends, huh?" she jokes, letting out a laugh.
Your tray almost ends up on the floor when she says that, hands shaking to the point where you can't bring much control over them anymore. 
While you're aware she's not being serious and that it's all done in good fun, you can't help dwelling too much on whether you're supposed to be here, and if someone like you would only cause more trouble to the school and all its people.  
"I'll take your word for it, (Y/N)."
[First] | [Previous] | [Next]
• • •
Updates will be weekly on Mondays from here on out!
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ish-scribbles · 4 years ago
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"They’re prolly going to end up marrying each other"
You and Ushiwaka have been friends ever since you were kids and you both are volleyball players as well. This year, you are a new admission in Shiratorizawa so,,,Ushijima shows you around. Much to the team’s suprise you both seem much more than friends but it's a pity that the only people oblivious to that fact is you two.
Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: Soft Ushiwaka, lolol
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"A Girl? You can't be serious!" The whole volleyball team of Shiratorizawa couldn't believe what they just heard.
"Guys, I'm not kidding. A REAL GIRL, REAL CUTE, WAS WALKING AROUND THE CAMPUS WITH USHIJIMA-SAN AND THAT'S NOT ALL. When I was in the cafeteria I SAW HER LEANING ON USHIJIMA' S SHOULDER, AND SHE SEEMED ASLEEP(?) WHILE HE CONTINUED EATING HIS FOOD LIKE IT WAS NOTHING" continues the still shocked Goshiki ''Decent in studies, one of the top volleyball aces in the nation and now a girlfriend, is there anything he can't do?!!'' He mumbles to himself.
When Goshiki told the whole team that Ushijima was roaming around the campus with a girl, it was only natural for the team to be in utter shock, considering the type of reserved guy Ushijima usually is. Even Tendou was unaware about your existence, but the way Goshiki was describing you both made it seem that you both relatively affectionate.
The sound of the gym door opening silenced the current discussion and that's when the whole team Ushijima entering with a girl on his side through the gym doors together.
"Wakatoshi, When you told me it'll only be a small walk around campus, YOU SHOULD'VE MENTIONED THAT YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME THE WHOLE TOUR OF YOUR GINORMOUS SCHOOL WHICH I CAN ONLY PRESUME WOULD COVER AN ENTIRE DISTRICT" You complained while facing him and walking backwards on your toes trying to put on the most intimidating face you could to show how seriously frusfrated you were.
"I once again apologize, Y/N, I should've asked you to skip your before-school training for the day. I will surely make up for it later, perhaps...a little detour to the ice-cream shop after school might help?" He offered
"It might" you pouted.
The whole team was stunned watching this scene play in front of their own very eyes. The stoic captain of Shiratorizawa, One of the top 3 aces of the country, was being told off by a girl half a foot smaller than him AND HE WAS ACTUALLY APOLOGIZING? Also not to forget...both of you were also on first name basis? Nothing made sense anymore. After a small pause Tendou was the first to break the silence.
"Oya oya, now lookie at what do we have here? Wakatoshi-kun~ You know it would be real rude of you to not introduce your friend to us, right?"
"Oh but of course, I would like all of you to meet L/N Y/N, she is actually going to join our school through sports scholarship for volleyball itself. She is also my neighbour from back home and the closest thing to a best friend I had, ever since when I was a child" Ushijima replies to which Tendou reacts with an "ouch" and an over exaggerated act of heartbreak with his hand on his chest at the fact that Ushiwaka never openly admited Tendou to be his best friend like this.
To which you laugh "You must be Tendou, right? ‘The Miracle Boy!’ if i remeber correctly" YOU smile "Wakatoshi actually talks a lot about his team and especially you! So don't worry, if we’re talking about how close we are to the spiker boy over here, we're probably at the same level, he just won’t admit it" to which Tendou replies "You know what, I think I kinda ike you, new girl. You’re gonna fit in just fine" to which you flash a cheeky smile and a thumb up what a dork.
Your conversation was cut short when Coach Washijo enters the gym and everyone in the team as well as you gave a respectable bow and an energetic ‘Good Afternoon’ and after acknowledging the greetings the old coach finally notices you.
‘‘Ah yes, you must be Y/N-chan. I've heard great things about you from Wakatoshi-kun, I'm glad that you joined the academy. I look forward to see your performance in the Girl's Team.‘‘
"I am very grateful for the opportunity, Coach" You say while giving a sincere bow.
"Although...the girls team are out for a practice match against Aoba Johsai's Girls Team, so you can practice with the boys today." Then he looks away to face the team "I have to attend a staff meeting today so the team managers will conduct today's practice and write a thorough report. So whomever is found slack off during the practice will recieve extra laps and 200 jump serves as penalty tomorrow morning. As for the match Y/N-chan and Wakatoshi-kun you both can divide the teams as per convenience, that is all for today".
They team was surprised to say the least. Coach never let anyone play against Ushiwaka unless he knew the other person could atleast withstand the power of Ushiwaka's Spike so it wouldn't cause any unintentional injury and from the looks of it you didn't seem to be very immune to that fact since you weren't exactly very muscular or buff. You were even somewhat tiny when compared to the rest of the team and yet Coach Washijo was confident enough to put you against Ushiwaka himself.
You got paired up with Tendou, Semi, Taichi, Goshiki and a few others when you divided teams amongst the players present.
"So Y/N-chan~ What position do you play exactly?" Tendou asked.
"Oh I didn’t tell you guys yet? I’m a Wing Spiker" You reply.
"Oh Really?! Little miss Y/N here spikes?" Tendou teases while making all sorts of gestures indicating how small compared to him you were.
"Cut it out, you idiot" Semi interjected with a slight smack to his head.
"If Ushijima-san has a good opinion about Y/N-san's ability, I wouldn’t doubt her considering how rarely he acknowledges another player’s skills" says Goshiki while internally thinking why can’t he ever get Ushiwaka's approval too.
"Wanna bet who scores the most points, Guess Monster?" You challenge Tendou with an smirk on your face.
"Oh my! Little miss Y/N is so daring~You got yourself a deal!" Tendou said excitedly.
The refree’s whistle blew and the match began. Ushiwaka’s team started with a serve which was recieved by your team and the ball was in the air. Semi recieved the ball and tossed it in the air as a set, but that set turned out to be sloppy because when he and the team were supposed to do warm ups and stretching, they were instead busy talking about you and Ushiwaka. The ball was set a little too high and far away for Tendou to hit and Goshiki was positioned in the back, so everyone expected it to be a lost cause and didn’t run after it, the other team relaxed as well. But then an unexpected tiny figure rushed between Semi and Tendou and jumped almost more than half their height and spiked the ball hard into Ushiwaka’s court, while everyone was still processing what just happened in what just felt like a split second. The refree’s whistle rang, evident of the point you just scored.
" Getting sloppy are we now, Miracle Boy?" You teased to which Tendou replied with his sticking his tongue out ‘’I’m just getting started, don’t get cocky’’ and when no one was noticing a small smile crept up on Ushiwaka’s face while the rest of them were plain frozen in their places still processing how were you able to perfect a shot with a set like that. The set was obviously bad and the chances of hitting it was very low but somehow you managed to fix your placement, jump about 3 feet high and spike the ball with crazy accuracy and with power what can only be assumed second to Ushiwaka himself!! All in just a split second.
During the match, you hit a lot of spikes and so did Tendou but the gap between the number of his spikes and yours just kept getting wider while the score of your team and Ushiwaka’s team was almost tied most of the time, no one had the clear lead the whole match, and no one was ready to back down from the other.
At set point, when you were positioned in the back it was your time to serve and you managed to serve a decent ball which almost scored another point if it wasn’t for their libero’s last minute recieve. The libero passed the ball to their setter, Shirabu who set the ball for Ushiwaka who then spiked the ball aimed at the corner of your court but before the ball hit the ground you whooshed in the last minute and managed to recieve the ball perfectly and then Semi and Tendou were able to score the last point which made your team win the practice match. When the refree whistle indicating your win, all your team mates started walking towards the benches, the managers started passing towels and water bottles but you on the other hand, started to walk towards Ushijima furiously.
‘‘That last shot. You intentionally hit the last spike slow and nearer to me so I can recieve it easily, didn’t you?!‘‘ You spat while slightly panting
‘‘You caught up on that?‘‘ Ushijima said while looking slightly sideways in order to avoid eye contact.
‘‘Why would you do that anyways, you don’t think I’m capable enough to take you head-on big guy?‘‘ You were furious. You might not be as tall and as poised as Ushijima but you weren’t bad either, you practiced a lot to perfect your techniques and when Ushijima deliberately was lazying his game, ofcourse that would make you mad.
Watching this a million thoughts came to the team’s head
Goshiki: This was a SLOWED shot?And that was an EASY recieve? Can they just adopt me already-
Semi: How did she recieve that ball that easily and wait- how would she know, if this was slowed and not a regular shot, how close are they exactly?
Shirabu: Even a spike like that has like a 95% success rate and she’s still not happy?She’s crazy,,,but in a good way I suppose?
Tendou: It’s like watching a little puppy trying to intimidate a Wolf and I bet she doesn’t even realizes it, how cute~
‘‘There’s no point of playing if you keep giving me half-assed shots like that, If you don’t want to practice with me anymore, just say it and I’ll go‘‘
‘‘No no Y/N, you’re getting me all wrong, please give me a chance to explain” Ushijima had genuine worry in his eyes when he said this he had a slight change of pitch in his voice ‘‘It’s true I intentionally slowed down the last spike but that wasn’t because I doubt you, It was because I know you like to give it your all, even in a practice games but the game wasn’t fair in the first place. You had gone through your morning training, then you had to attend school and then a whole tour of the campus, So it was obvious that you were already tired even if you weren’t showing it, I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but notice it when you runs were slower, spikes were less accurate than usual and I just couldn’t bear to see it anymore so I thought that it would help to finish the game early‘‘
It was true, you were already exhausted after all you went through during the day but it never showed on your face and the team didn’t realised it either, Still a phrase resounded in their heads ‘runs were slower and the spikes were less accurate than usual’ What kind of a monster was hidden inside your tiny frame?!
‘‘Listen Wakatoshi, I appreciate your concern but I don’t liked to be babied around like that, You can be upfront about it and I would’ve been mature about it‘‘ you said.
‘‘Then it’s my mistake I assumed you would just chase after me trying to beat me up‘‘ Ushiwaka replied genuinly thinking he was wrong.
‘‘DAMN RIGHT I WOULD HAVE, NEVER DOUBT ME EVER AGAIN OR IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME YOU DO USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI‘‘ You screamed out to which Ushijima replied with an instant ‘’Yes ma’am‘’
‘‘Now that we have sorted that out, after a change of clothes let’s go out and eat some Hayashi Rice‘‘ You spoke to which Ushiwaka replied ‘’Certainly’’.
After the practice you changed into a normal t-shirt and shorts and after reaching the bench just outside the gym you realised that you changed faster than Ushijima, so you decided to sit and wait for him. While you were waiting you felt your calf muscles aching after the whole day of running and jumping,,,and since you already had the disadvantage of being smaller than the rest of the guys you were playing with, you had to run and jump extra.
Ushijima and the rest of the team came out after changing and were walking in your direction at a distance, and while the rest of the team were talking amongst themselves he from afar saw you slightly massaging your sore calfs, he already knew that you today would’ve been a toll on you body.
‘‘Ready to go?‘‘ You ask when Ushijima finally reached you, to which he gave a nod and then he picked up your bag and hung it over his chest to which you said
‘‘Wait what are you doin-’’
‘‘I noticed you still seem to be tired and I still feel guilty about the tour, so it’s the least I can do’’
"Is that so?" You said with a childish look and a cheeky smile on your face ‘"Then you can’t expect me to walk all the way over till we reach the restaurant' you gave him your puppy eyes look and without another word he got on one knee while you walked and stood over him with a stupid "yay" and then wrapped your arms around his neck while nuzzling your face into his broad shoulders with a stupid smile while he got a hold of your legs and finally stood up.
The whole team were frozen at their spots internally cursing both of you on either how single you both made them feel or how oblivious can you be. He then looked towards Tendou and spoke "Tendou, I’ll be a little late than usual, so you can lock the dorm room door if you decide to sleep early, I have my spare key along with me" to which Tendou just said "Oh okay" strangely being less talkative than usual.
After that Ushiwaka just started walking towards the restaurant with you Piggybacking on him like it was nothing while the discussion amongst the team about you two continued.
"They DO realise that THAT is not how people who are 'just friends' act, right?" Goshiki says still shocked.
‘‘I wouldn’t be so sure about that‘‘ Shirabu replied.
‘‘It’s so scary how oblivios Ushijima usually is but in matters like this he couldn’t get any dumber‘‘ Semi continues.
‘‘Who wants to bet against me that they won’t end up together?‘‘ Tendou speaks up with one of his arm in the air and one eye closed while the other looked around to see the people around him.
"Are you kidding, who’s stupid enough to take you up on that bet" Semi replies "Weren’t you here the whole practice? They’re prolly going to end up marrying each other’’.
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streetlight11 · 3 years ago
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Try Not To Fall In Love
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Summary: Being forced into marriage is never an exciting idea simply because you are getting married to someone not out of pure love. So when he was forced to marry a girl he doesn't know, he desperately gets help from his friend, hoping his friend could save him from the arranged marriage.
Theme: fake dating au, strangers to lovers
Genre: fluff, tinge of angst
Warnings: none
WC: 6.6k
Pairing: Bestfriend's Friend!Hoseok x Fem!Reader
a/n: Hello! I got this idea the other day while I was listening to a song by Keshi called Summer, where there was a line in the song which goes, "3 months is all we got, try not to fall in love" so I wrote this before I lost the feel of it ✌
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“Shoot, what am I gonna do? My parents are setting me up for marriage with this… I don’t know, this spoiled brat whose parents apparently owns the famous clothing brand in Korea. Ugh, I hate her! I don’t wanna be married to some spoiled girl who only thinks about herself.” Hoseok groans in frustration as he paces around Namjoon’s living room.
Hoseok’s parents were power and money hungry. They thrive to be rich but forgets that the safer alternative was to work hard for it instead of taking a short way out. Since Hoseok was an only son, they used him as a pawn by planning to marry him off to the daughter of the most wealthiest family in the country.
He despised this whole plan.
Namjoon could only frown as he didn’t know what to do for his friend.
“Can’t you like maybe, I don’t know? Tell your parents you’re not interested in her or something?” Namjoon asked.
“Yeah, unless you want me to waste my breath then yeah sure I’ll make that excuse to them. They’re going to make me marry her no matter what I say! Shit! I hate this!” Hoseok growled as he plopped on the couch and threw a pillow across the room, making Namjoon scold him for throwing a tantrum.
Hoseok mumbled an apology as the room fell quiet. Just then, it was as though something clicked in the back of Namjoon’s mind. He snapped his fingers and shot up from the couch instantly, shocking the poor boy.
“I know! How about you get a fake girlfriend? That way your parent’s can’t say anything right?” Namjoon exclaimed as if it was the most brilliant plan ever.
“What do you want me to do if they ask me to break up with this fake girlfriend? Joon, I’m telling you. My parents can be hella desperate, they'd do literally anything to make their plan work.” Hoseok sighed again.
“Look, if you get a fake girlfriend, treat her like a real girlfriend. That way, when they see how much you care and love each other, your parents won’t bother you with arranging a marriage for you ever again. There! Problem solved.” Namjoon shrugged, only for Hoseok to roll his eyes.
“Okay fine, sure. But the problem is, who am I gonna ask to help me with the plan? You know I don’t have any close female friends…” Hoseok frowned worriedly at his older friend before the male smirked.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got that covered.” Namjoon said with a satisfied smirk on his face.
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You were just typing away your codings for your assignment when a familiar figure stood in front of you on the other side of that wooden table. You glanced up and were immediately greeted by your best friend, Namjoon.
“What is it now, Namjoon? I already told you the group project is not discussable with members outside your group.” You sighed, earning a blabber from him.
“Yeah yeah whatever. Listen. I need you to do me a favour.” Namjoon began, rendering you curious.
“With what?” You asked.
“I need you to be a fake girlfriend for a few weeks.”
“What? Why do you need a fake girlfriend? Having girl trouble again?” You chuckled at your successful mock directed to him.
“Shut up. Anyways, not me. It’s for my friend.”
Your eyebrow was raised in confusion, staring at him with so much doubt.
“Yeah, I don’t know about that.” You said but he was quick to stop you.
“What? Why?”
“Namjoon, for one, I don’t know who your friend is. And two, this might be a little risky…”
“Why do you say that?”
“Most of the time when two people get into these fake relationships, they often end up being awkward and are close to opposite from what they hoped to turn out.”
“Y/N come on! Please! He’s really in need of help, his parents are forcing him to marry a girl he doesn’t even know and love. Just help him this once, will you? After all of this ends, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Namjoon begged as you stared at him with worry in your eyes and he could clearly see it.
After much thought, you decided to help out simply because if you were in this person’s shoes, you would also dread the idea of being forced into marriage.
You just hope this plan turns out successful.
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It was a Saturday afternoon and Namjoon had texted you earlier saying to meet his friend for lunch to discuss how you want the plan to go. Namjoon gave you the address of the cafe and told you to find a guy with dirt blonde hair and black long sleeved shirt. You didn’t want to have a bad first impression for yourself so you opted to dress slightly nicer instead of your usual sweatpants and oversized sweater.
You chose a simple denim skinny jeans, fitted cropped top with a cardigan to go over. Once you made it to the cafe, your eyes skimmed over the entire interior of the cafe.
You noticed that the cafe was filled with people but out of pure luck, there was only one guy seated near the windows alone and was exactly as Namjoon described him to be. With that, you made your way to him, noticing the two cups on the table. You assumed he bought a drink for you to not get kicked out of the cafe.
He was handsome. You definitely never met him before. Which makes things slightly harder considering this means you would have a lot to learn about this guy if you had to pretend to be his girlfriend for the next few weeks.
Right when you were a foot away from the table, his eyes glanced up from his phone only to lock eyes with yours. For a moment, you saw the way his cute brown eyes sparkled.
“Hi, are you Hoseok?” You asked as he nodded.
“I assume you are Y/N?”
“In the flesh.” You joked, only for him to crack into a smile that seemed too adorable. You took a seat after he gestured for you to sit down. Both of you went silent for a split second before you spoke up.
“How long have you waited?”
“Not too long, I think close to about 10 minutes?”
“Oh, sorry. I got stuck in traffic for a bit.” You apologized knowing you were in fact late.
“No, it’s fine…” Hoseok smiled as his eyes glanced around your face for a second while you looked down at the cup to see that it was a Hazelnut Latte, your favourite.
“I bought Hazelnut Latte with almond milk for you. Not gonna lie, I had to get help from Namjoon on what you usually drink. Didn’t want to buy the wrong one on a first meet.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. You giggled at his confession, finding it extremely endearing how he asked Namjoon what your favourite drink was.
“Anything is fine honestly, I’m not picky but I guess I can say this is the perfect pick.” You smiled when you saw the corner of his lips curled up sharply.
The two of you began chatting more comfortably with each other, getting to know the other in slight depth so that you would know what to say if someone questions you about the other. You later found out he was your age and that he owns a puppy named Mickey. He was a dancer and he likes to rap when he’s bored.
You also found out that he and Namjoon have been friends since high school. Which means he’s known Namjoon longer than you have.
A few minutes later, you both decided to lay out the plan for his fake girlfriend project. You went through the basic stuff, saying what you can or can’t do in public, all that kind of stuff.
After brainstorming and exchanging ideas or thoughts on the plan, you smiled before saying the one thing that both of you had to try to be mutual about.
“Whatever we do, let’s try not to fall in love with each other.”
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Your first few weeks of fake dating went well. Hoseok and you managed to act like a legit couple in public. He would drive you to campus every morning, hold hands as you walked around the campus grounds, sit with you during his free period, have lunch with you and Namjoon on days where your lunch schedules are in sync, walk you to your classes with his arm on your waist, basically everything a couple would do.
Of course, not to forget the little kisses he gives you after every walk, before every separation, in between chats, but those kisses were anywhere but your lips for you both agreed to avoid lip kisses.
Everything was going well so far and despite the little butterflies you sometimes get whenever he holds you or kisses you a certain way, you tried your best to remind yourself this was all temporary.
Besides, you were only doing this to practice so that when you do in fact go over to meet his parents, they would believe that you are dating their son.
Nobody would believe someone is dating if they saw an awkward couple who doesn’t know what to do around the other.
Right?
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It was a Tuesday afternoon and you were having lunch with Namjoon and Hoseok when the latter sighed deeply the minute he sat down beside you with his own tray of food.
“Hoseok? What’s wrong?” You asked as Namjoon eyed his friend worriedly.
“My mum’s inviting that girl’s family over this weekend to our family dinner. All my relatives are gonna be there…” He said hesitantly as he avoided your eyes. Hoseok was currently picking his food, not actually eating it.
So you gently placed your hand on top of his that was on the table, successfully gaining his attention when he turned to look at you.
“Hey, you’re gonna be fine. Don’t worry too much, okay?” You tried reassuring him but it looks like he was too stressed out about it.
“I know… It’s just… The last thing I wanna do is to humiliate myself in front of everyone, or even worse, humiliate you. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this mess in the first place.” Hoseok said as he began to have second thoughts.
Before you could respond, he got up abruptly while slinging his bag strap over his shoulder.
“Sorry, I have to go.” He apologized as he began to walk away. You turned to Namjoon who looked just as confused as you were. Namjoon told you to go after him and that was exactly what you did.
Hoseok had just left the cafeteria hall and was making his way towards the Dance Studio building when you ran after him.
You grabbed his hand to stop him and once you were standing in front of him, you took in a breath to speak.
“Hoseok, listen to me. Everything’s gonna be fine. No one’s gonna humiliate anyone. Don’t stress out too much okay? It’ll be fine.” You tried to reassure him but it looks like he was still having doubts about it.
“Y/N, the plan was to bring you home with just my parents and that girl around, not my entire family. I don’t want you to get hurt if they say anything bad about you, about us… We really shouldn’t have done this, I’m sorry for bringing you into this.” Hoseok apologized again but you weren’t having any of it.
With that being said, you cupped his face and caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, not caring about the looks you got from the students that were currently passing by your two figures in the middle of the hallway.
“That’s not gonna happen… Okay? We’re going through this together. No matter what. We have to finish what we started. Besides, if there’s anyone during that gathering who I trust would keep me safe, it’s you.”
Your words hit him deeply and he couldn’t agree more. It has been 3 weeks since you started this whole fake dating thing. And if he were to be completely honest, the very last agreement you made right before all this started in which you said ‘try not to fall in love with each other’, this statement has been washed down the drain since the first week of your fake dating.
After the third day of practicing your fake relationship, he realized that you were an amazing person. You were so humble, kind, selfless, down-to-earth, basically everything a guy dreams of. Seeing how sweet you were with such a genuine heart, makes him go all fuzzy and warm for you.
It was only after the first week of that fake relationship that Hoseok realized, maybe he really was falling in love with you.
With that being said, Hoseok leaned into your hands as you watched his frown get replaced by a smile and soon, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist gently to say, “Okay… Let’s show them how love should really be.”
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Weekend finally rolled around and you were currently getting ready for Hoseok’s family dinner. You opted to wear a beautiful lavender laced sleeveless dress with a pretty round neck, where the hem of the dress stops just past your knees. You were going to pair it with your nude heels. You style your hair to a pretty low bun with your bangs framing your face in a middle parting.
You kept your makeup at a bare minimum since that was just your personal preference. You were just packing your important belongings into your purse when you heard the doorbell ring.
You abandoned your purse for a second as you jogged to your front door. Once you opened it, you nearly got your breath stolen by how handsome he looked.
He was wearing a white button down formal shirt, the first few buttons undone, his sleeves rolled up to his forearms, pairing that with a tie loosely hanging around his neck. He wore black jeans with the shirt tucked in, along with a pair of black loafers.
Not to mention his hair being styled in a way that his forehead is shown but at the same time, his fringe flops down with a slight volume so that it’s not too flat.
He looks really good.
“Hey gorgeous.” He smirked upon seeing your outfit.
You couldn’t stop the blush forming on your cheeks but you were quick to respond to him to avoid getting teased by him.
“Hey handsome. Give me a second to get my purse!” You said as you jogged back into your apartment, hearing his soft chuckle behind you. After you grabbed your purse, phone and house keys, you strapped your heels on and soon left the apartment. You made sure to lock your door before walking down the hall with him.
Both of you were talking about random topics when you felt him slide an arm around your waist. For some reason, this made you jump while your breath hitched in your throat a little too loud.
Hoseok chuckled at your reaction, clearly not expecting you to react that way especially since you were always relaxed when he does that out of the blue on campus.
“You okay? You seem jumpy…” Hoseok asked worriedly before his eyes searched for yours desperately.
“Uh, y-yeah… I’m just nervous I guess.” You laughed, earning a soft squeeze to your side before he kissed your temple gently like he always does.
“Don’t be. I promise nobody’s gonna hurt you… I won’t let that happen.” Hoseok’s voice gradually got lower until he whispered those last words to you. It made your heart flip and your stomach swirl from both anxiety and adrenaline.
The drive to his family home was about 40 minutes but you enjoyed the entire ride there. Hoseok made you laugh quite a few times, both of you singing along to the songs on his playlist, you played around with his things in his car, him glancing over at you every now and then only to smile every time he catches you doing something silly or was just laughing at something he said.
Gosh he was sickly in love with you.
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He finally managed to park in his parent’s driveway along with a few other cars that probably belonged to the other guests. You got out of his car, suddenly feeling nervous all over again. Hoseok noticed the way you were stuck in place beside his passenger car door, making him walk over to you.
“Hey, relax. We’re gonna be fine. You said that yourself didn’t you?” Hoseok smiles as he cups your face softly while he caresses your cheeks with his thumbs.
You slowly nodded up at him, watching as he plants a soft kiss to your forehead.
Of course this was all for the fake relationship at the end of the day, but was all of this gestures really fake though?
Both of you walked towards the front door with your left hand in his, fingers intertwined while your right hand wrapped itself around his left forearm to hold him close to you. Hoseok stopped in front of the door before turning to you and whispered, “Are you ready?”
“Ready if you are.” You gave him a weak smile and soon, he pushed the door open.
You made it inside without anyone greeting you at the door since it was in fact his house anyway. However, the minute you entered the living room, you instantly squeezed Hoseok’s hand lightly. Clearly overwhelmed by the number of people who were gathered there.
“Oh! Hoseok dear! You’re here!” One of the middle aged ladies said with a smile.
“Yes Aunt Ju, I’m here and I brought my girlfriend with me if you all don’t mind. I figured it’s a perfect time to introduce her to all my family.” Hoseok said proudly, making you feel slightly safe in his arms.
Just then, a voice sounded from behind you and it wasn’t exactly pleasant.
“How dare you bring an outsider to our family dinner! She’s not invited! And who said you’re dating this low life girl? You’re getting married to Lena!” Who you could only assume to be Hoseok’s mother, said in full disgust as she glares and looks at you from head to toe.
Hoseok’s body shook with rage as he frowned at his mother, ready to shoot her down with his words if he had to.
“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t be with, mom. Why should I marry someone who doesn’t mean a single thing to me when I can live happily with the girl of my dreams?”
“Nonsense! I am your mother so you have to listen to my decisions!” You were afraid of what might happen next so you tugged Hoseok’s hand a little to gain his attention. Luckily, he felt it so he glanced down at you for a second and the moment he locked eyes with you, he immediately softened.
He took a deep breath before turning back to his mother and smiled, “Yes, you are my mother. But I get to decide who I want to marry for it is my life and not yours.”
His mother’s face distorts into an offended scowl. She watched as her son brought you over to the rest of his family in the living room.
Upon sitting down, one of Hoseok’s cousin’s greeted you with a hug as she began talking to you.
“Hi dear! What’s your name?” She asked.
“Hi, I’m Y/N, you?”
“I’m Seori. It’s nice to meet you!”
“It’s nice to meet you too.” For the first time that night, you smiled genuinely as Seori warmed up to you pretty quick. Though from the corner of your eye, you could see a girl who hadn’t kept her gaze off you from the minute you entered the room.
For this reason alone, you could only guess that she was Lena, the girl who Hoseok was supposed to marry.
You were just chatting with Seori about Hoseok’s old habits when she suddenly leaned in to whisper something surprising to you.
“Honestly, I’m rooting for you instead of that rich girl. She’s such a brat. Hoseok is definitely too good for her.” Seori smiled, making you chuckle. You couldn’t believe Hoseok’s cousin was actually agreeing with you being her cousin’s partner even though she only just met you.
“Oh… Thanks… I guess?” You said awkwardly, earning a laugh from her.
“No really! She’s such a spoiled brat. I don’t understand why my aunt is dying for Hoseok to marry her. Blegh…” Seori faked a gag at the end.
Just then, your eyes travelled over to the other side of the room, only to find Lena shooting daggers into your skull. You got uncomfortable under her intense gaze which caused you to fidget in your seat. Unfortunately, Hoseok noticed this so he turned to you and whispered carefully.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“H-Huh? Oh, n-nothing. I’m fine.” You smiled at him as he frowned knowing you were lying but he decided to just trust you so he snuck a quick kiss to your cheek before smiling at you.
Why is your heart racing?
An hour went by, Hoseok kept you close to him at all times, making sure Lena or his mother never got too close to you.
You were just talking to Seori and Wooyoung, another one of Hoseok’s cousins when you excused yourself to go to the washroom. You made it down the hall and was about to enter the bathroom when you heard bickerings from one of the rooms.
As bad as you know it would be to eavesdrop, you got even curious when you recognized one of the voices to be Hoseok’s.
The closer you got, the clearer those voices were. However, your heart wasn’t ready for what you were about to hear.
“I want you to break up with that stupid girl and marry Lena!”
“No mom! What the hell? You can’t do this to me!”
“I’m your mother! And I demand you to leave that lowlife brat or else, I won’t take you as my son anymore! You choose. Outsider or Family.” His mom threatened him as she began to walk towards the door.
For some reason, you couldn’t seem to move. Your feet were glued to the ground as your eyes pooled with tears at the brim.
The moment his mother pulled the door open harshly, you flinched.
The tears on your eyes were now falling freely down your cheeks. You locked eyes with Hoseok for a brief moment before you looked back at his mother who had a satisfied wicked smile on her face.
“So, you heard right? Break up with my son if you love him and care about him still being a part of this family.”
Hoseok was frozen behind her as he watched you carefully for your next words. You two were supposed to be strong for each other. You were supposed to come out of this family dinner hand in hand with a proud smile on your face. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the outcome tonight.
So with one shaky breath, you locked eyes with his mother while your tears streamed down your face, giving her exactly what she wanted.
“Okay. I promise I’ll leave your son alone from now on. This will be the last time you see me in his life, if that’s what you want Ma’am.”
“Good. Now leave. You don’t belong here.”
With that, you gave her a weak smile before you turned in your heels and ran. Hoseok was going to run after you but his mother stopped him.
Your running figure caught everyone’s attention as Seori and Wooyoung called out to you desperately but all you did was run to the front door and left. A few seconds later, Hoseok was seen running down the hall and was about to go to the front door when Hoseok’s mother yelled his name.
He stopped in his tracks, only for her to threaten him again.
“Jung Hoseok! Don’t you dare go after that girl!”
“Why?! Why not mom?! Why can’t I go after the one girl that I love?! Tell me mom! Tell me!”
“You don’t love her…” She scoffed, trying to convince herself that her son isn’t capable of finding love on his own.
“What do you know about love mom? You call marrying someone I don’t know, someone I’ve never talked to, someone I’ve never met before, love? If that’s what you call love, then I don’t want to be a part of it. In all my life, I’ve never known what is the true meaning of love besides a family’s love. And now I know…” He paused to take a deep breath before he continued.
“Call me insane, but I am in love with her. I am madly in love with the girl who you just blatantly threatened to break up with me. It’s such a low move of you to threaten an innocent girl when all she did was love me.” Hoseok said as he turned and was about to leave when his mother threatened him again.
“If you step out of this house right now just to go after that brat, you are never to step foot in this house ever again.”
With that being said, Hoseok turned around and gave her a sad smile. He knew the decision he was going to make. He knew it would probably change his life forever. And yet, not a single ounce of regret was lingering in him when he said the next few words.
“And let the girl I truly love slip out of my hands for good? I’m sorry mom, but I don’t think so.” Hoseok said and with that, he left.
Hoseok’s father had to hold his wife back from slaughtering her son as Seori and Wooyoung cheered for their cousin while Lena was just fuming in her seat.
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Hoseok arrived at your apartment building, running up to your unit level only to pound his fist against your door. He waited a few seconds but all he got was silence. He tried a few more times and still no response. He panicked as he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of where else you could go.
Just then, it was as though something clicked in his brain that made him rush back to his car and soon drove off to the one possible place you could have gone to.
After a few more minutes on the road, Hoseok practically leaped out of his car and soon sprinted up the apartment steps not bothering to wait for the lift.
Once he was on level 4 where Namjoon’s apartment unit was, he gave it a few knocks.
It was currently 10:40pm so he knew damn well that Namjoon was still awake. Hoseok’s mind was currently running amuck as he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground.
Just then, the door opened to reveal Namjoon who looked worried for something, or perhaps someone.
“Joon ah! Please tell me she’s here…” Hoseok whispered desperately as his eyes pleaded for Namjoon to give him the answer he really wanted. Of course, Namjoon could never lie to his friend. Which is why Namjoon lets out a sigh of relief before smiling at the latter.
“She’s in my room.”
With that being said, Hoseok quickly kicked his shoes off only to walk towards Namjoon’s room carefully so as to not scare you.
Once he was standing in front of the door, he skipped the knocking and went straight ahead to open it.
The moment he did, his heart shattered upon seeing you sit on Namjoon’s bed with your knees up to your chest while you hugged them. You had your face buried in your arms as your soft cries echoed around the room.
Hoseok softly entered the room, closing the door behind him as he carefully made his way to you.
“Joonie… Why am I feeling this way? Why am I so sad? This is fake, isn’t it? All this is fake… So why does my heart hurt so bad?” You whispered in between sobs but still not looking up. You felt the mattress dip beside you which means someone had just climbed into bed with you.
Except, you just assumed it was Namjoon. Little did you know, you were wrong.
“Maybe because our feelings weren’t fake.”
His familiar gentle voice caught you off guard as you slowly brought your head up only to gasp when you locked eyes with Hoseok’s soft ones. He was smiling down at you, and yet, you could see how broken he was.
“H-Hoseok… W-Wha… What are you doing here?” Your voice was weak as you stuttered over your words.
“I left… I couldn’t let you leave.”
“N-No…” You croaked out. “N-No… No… What about your family? Hoseok, did you not hear what your mom said?”
With that being said, Hoseok gently cups your face with both hands as he shushes you to calm you down.
“Shh… Shh… It’s okay. I know what she said. But it doesn’t matter because what’s important is that we’re together.” He smiled as he kissed the tip of your nose, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.
“Hoseok…” Your voice was barely a whisper, earning a soft ‘shh’ from him yet again.
“I don’t care what she said. I don’t care what any of my family says. It's my life so I make my decisions. And right now, I’m so glad I left. That way I can show you just how much I truly care for you…” Hoseok paused as he slowly leaned closer to you until his lips were just an inch apart from yours, foreheads touching gently before he took one shaky breath and finally expressed his feelings for you wholeheartedly.
“I love you, Y/N.”
Your heart was pounding against your chest as you closed your eyes, afraid to look him in the eye. Finally, with one small breath, you whispered your reply for his little confession.
“I love you too, Hoseok.”
And just like that, Hoseok smiled as he caressed your cheeks before he kissed you on the lips.
Your heart almost jumps out of your chest as you slide your hands around his waist. He kissed you so sweetly, you nearly allowed yourself to fall on him. Hoseok pulls away with a soft sound, keeping one hand on your cheek while the other rests on your neck.
He kept his forehead gently against yours as his lips purposely brushed over your lips. You could hear his nervous breaths, only for him to whisper against your lips.
“Let me love you properly this time. You’re all that I want.”
With that, you couldn’t help but giggle feeling your heart full again. You loved him. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. Nevertheless, you promised to love him back equally.
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7 months had passed without any of you realizing. Hoseok has been staying with Namjoon ever since that unfortunate incident with his parents, more specifically his mother. Hoseok hasn’t talked to his parents ever since, simply fulfilling her request if he decided to leave the house that night.
You were in a stable relationship with Hoseok in which he has shown you more love than what he was capable of giving you previously when you were fake dating.
He showered you with so much love, it makes your heart melt every single time.
It was a gloomy Saturday afternoon. You went over to Namjoon’s place to hangout with him and your boyfriend. Upon your arrival, Hoseok seemed too excited as he quickly tackled you down onto the sofa whilst he tickled the life out of you.
You had to beg him to stop as you ended up panting for air. You were just cuddling with Hoseok on the couch while Namjoon sat on the huge bean bag chair at the corner while you all watched the movie.
You were just drawing random patterns onto Hoseok’s clothed chest, earning soft kisses at the top of your head when you heard the doorbell ring.
All of you glanced around at each other, only for Hoseok to ask his roommate if he ordered anything.
Upon Namjoon saying no, the male stood up and made his way to the door. You and Hoseok continued watching the show while Namjoon went to answer the door. A few seconds later, you heard Namjoon’s voice calling to Hoseok from the end of the hallway but for some reason, his voice sounded a little suspicious.
You definitely didn’t expect this.
“Uh, Seok ah, you might wanna pause the movie.” Namjoon warned as you both turned around. The minute you locked eyes with Hoseok’s parents, you immediately tensed up whilst he sat up straighter in an alert stance.
“Mom. Dad.” Hoseok whispered under his breath as the two of them smiled at their son.
You could feel the tension rising as Hoseok’s body became stiff. To avoid making things worse, you carefully got up and excused yourself.
Before you could leave, Hoseok grabbed your wrist as his eyes were begging for you to stay.
“You should talk to them.” You whispered as you looked at his parents and soon gave them a small nod before you and Namjoon left them to head to Namjoon’s bedroom.
You closed the door behind you and the minute you were inside, you couldn’t help but let out a shaky sigh. Pressing your back against the door, you slid down to the ground until you were seated on the floor. Namjoon frowned as he went over to you, pulling you into a warm hug as he caressed the back of your head comfortingly.
Meanwhile, Hoseok's parents took a seat on the same couch he was in except there was a huge gap between Hoseok and his mom.
“My dear son, how are you sweetheart?” His mom smiled sadly, knowing Hoseok probably still held a grudge on her.
“I’m fine…” Hoseok said coldly, unsure of how to react.
“How’s school? Everything okay?” His dad asked.
“Yeah. I’m coping okay. Nothing out of the ordinary for me as usual.” Hoseok shrugged as he looked everywhere but his parents. Just then, his mother was the first to apologize.
“I’m really sorry for the way I acted that night… I… I wasn’t thinking.”
Hoseok finally looked at his mom with a deep frown on his face.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I shouldn’t have treated Y/N that way and that I shouldn’t have made those threats to you and her when I should be happy that you found love and that you were genuinely happy to be with her… I’m so sorry, dear.” His mother started to tear up as Hoseok’s heart immediately softened for her.
Of course he couldn’t hate her.
He could never hate his mother.
So when she began to cry, Hoseok scooted closer to hug her, rubbing her back soothingly to calm her down. His father simply smiled as he patted Hoseok’s back a few times for he wasn’t a man of affection. No doubt, he still loves his family dearly.
A few minutes later, Hoseok pulled away from his mother, only for the lady to sniffle and ask, “Can I see her? I want to see the girl who’s been making my son so happy.” She smiled as Hoseok nodded.
He soon got up, making his way to Namjoon’s bedroom. He gave it a few knocks before opening it, only to find Namjoon and you seated on his bed facing each other, placing a game of rock paper scissors. You were just laughing at Namjoon’s mistake when you heard the door creak open and soon, you met Hoseok’s soft eyes.
“Hey…” Hoseok said as he stepped inside briefly to walk to you and Namjoon.
“How’s everything?” Namjoon asked with a weak smile, only for Hoseok to speak up.
“We made up…”
“Oh? That’s amazing.” Namjoon sighed in relief but then Hoseok looked at you and placed a soft hand on your thigh.
“But now my mom wants to see you.” Immediately, your breath hitched in your throat.
What if she still hates you?
Hoseok could sense your worries so he squeezed your thigh softly and soon reassured you that if anything goes wrong, he’ll be there to protect you. With his words of affirmation, you both finally left the room with Namjoon flopping onto his bed.
You walked behind Hoseok while he laced his fingers with yours. The minute you came into the living room, you locked eyes with his mother and for some reason, her words from that night came haunting you back.
You unconsciously hid behind Hoseok and his mother saw this.
However, the frown on her face couldn’t easily be mistaken for anything else. She knew she would leave this effect on you, but maybe not to this extent. And for that, she feels bad.
Seeing how you wouldn’t budge from behind him, Hoseok gently tugs you forward while he whispers to you, “It’s okay… I’m here…”
This was enough to give you some moral support as you carefully sat down on the couch beside his mother.
“Hi dear, how are you?” She asked as you saw a brand new tear threatening to roll down her cheeks.
“I-I’m good, Ma’am.”
“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m not here to yell at you… I’m here to say sorry. I know what I said to you that night wasn’t right. And I know that I can’t take back whatever I said. And I totally understand if you don’t forgive me. All I wanna say is thank you for making my son happy. I can see that he truly loves you. I’m sorry once again.” She smiled as the tear finally rolled down her cheek.
All the while, you were still holding Hoseok’s hand as he sat closely behind you but his fingers were laced with yours on your lap while his right hand gently caressed your sides to calm your nerves down.
For some reason, you could see the sincerity behind her apology. Which is why you reached for her hand afterwards and spoke up.
“I forgive you.”
His mother stared at you in shock, surprised that you forgave her despite all the things she said to you.
“You… really forgive me?”
“I understand that all you wanted was the best for your child. And I couldn’t blame you for that. But apart from that, I’m thankful that you finally approve of my relationship with your son. I love him so much but I dread to see him being torn apart from his family.” You said.
His mother couldn’t help but cry harder as you offered her a hug to which she openly accepted.
You rubbed her back to soothe her nerves only to hear her say, “Hoseok did an excellent job at choosing the right girl.”
You pulled away to find her smiling at you before glancing past your shoulder to look at her son with a look that Hoseok seemed to understand. His parents soon took their leave, while you went back to join Namjoon after saying goodbye to Hoseok’s parents.
Hoseok was just standing by the door to say bye to his parents when his mother cups his face and whispers, “Don’t lose her, no matter what people say. She’s a keeper.”
With that being said, she kissed his forehead and soon left.
Hoseok couldn’t agree more with his mother’s sentence, knowing that he would never let go of you that easily nor would he lose you because of other people’s words. He won’t ever let those things happen.
And that’s exactly what he’s going to do.
~~~
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